Marriage is a Scam

Modern wedding traditions are so stupid. A ring is not necessary half the time. Many people don’t bother waiting until marriage to have sex. This bothers me as sometimes, I feel like I want to be married since I was raised Catholic although I became pagan in my adult life. Modern weddings are interesting in that people drink way too much alcohol so I’d rather have mine be dry should it come to pass. Basically, I have been brainwashed into believing that I won’t bother with marriage. I feel a ring is silly. Why should that signify commitment? A ring is a ridiculous way of proposing along with any kind of other jewelry.

Rings are silly anyway, in my mind. I find rings to be a distraction. I need a small one that fits on my very slender finger. My fingers are designed for typing, not wearing rings. I wouldn’t wear mine every day anyway, just for specific situations. Proposing with a ring is a huge American and Western cultural tradition. I’m not into jewelry because I’m gender non-binary, gender non-conforming, and androgynous as I do not want to be called a female, my pronouns are they/their.

Gender rules mean that women have to adhere to certain guidelines in their family of origin. My chosen family, however, takes me as I am and by this, I mean people in the pagan community in the Bay Area. Growing up I did nothing but wear t-shirts after school because I hated girly clothing. I got used to skirts though. In my adult life, I wear skirts and t-shirts. Gender rules for some reason, mean the man has to propose to the woman. I find this rule silly. Although I did buy myself a copy of The Rules so I can write a gender non-conforming rebuttal. Those of us who identify as gender non-conforming feel that we can break cultural rules ascribed to girls or boys.

Rings exist so that the woman feels obligated to say yes. It is highlighted in our culture everywhere you look including television shows. Novels are devoted to perpetuating the stupidity of wedding rings. Women are trained like Pavlovian dogs, to accept the wedding ring as a symbol of love. Weddings are considered the happiest day of your life but if people get drunk, it is not necessarily a happy day but a stressful and annoying one. If you do not get along with your family, you feel obligated to invite them but the thing is, don’t bother. Weddings are a brainwashing tactic because the entire culture is set up to expect one. I like the pagan way of marrying or separating using a handfasting. You mark the day but it doesn’t have to lurk in your consciousness. Vows can always be broken, and very often they are. This is why I find the concept of saying words such as vows, to be ridiculous. Is a Ph.D. really something that slows me down with getting married? Is having a smart brain really something that can stop me from getting another boyfriend? These are some of the ridiculous things I have heard. If somebody doesn’t approve of my career goals, this is a silly standard to be held up to. I’ve also heard I won’t get married because of my diabetes and other disabilities. Oh I’m sorry, if it offends you that I have more experience with boys than you do. As in, I have experience with normal people not sociopaths who cannot return your affection towards them anyway. I’m wagering I’ll meet somebody at UCLA somehow. I can date without making my disability obvious since a friend of mine didn’t notice at all until I checked my blood sugar while taking my medication. Ha. I outed myself as disabled right then. He hadn’t noticed. Much. So whomever feels I can’t have relationships because of my multiple chronic illnesses and disabilities, think again.