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Energetic Boundaries- Cyndi Dale technique/approach

I have to say that I’m trying to read a lot about my energy boundary issues, although I’m trying not to slip into Mule mode, which means my parents get their energy work done for them by me. The mere fact that I have work to do on my own, means that I have to quit doing mom and dad’s work as though my life depends on it. Really, I’m trying to route their energy needs to the Divine even as right now I’m working on my chakra issues using a chakra book that the self-isolation has given me enough time to get done with. If anything, I’m working on that chakra self-help book. I’m working on getting myself the insights I need, but I may start booking readings with psychics at East West bookshop only because I have to start schmoozing more with more than one kind of person, although due to Mr. Hernia I have to be wary of pagans, or for that matter, anybody carrying around the title of “witch.”

Bridges to Recovery

If Bridges to Recovery is a way I can recover from bipolar disorder, not that I have symptoms of it anymore, but I’m thrilled they treat everything I’m dealing with. I have worked on stabilizing my mood for a long time, because I have done most of it myself with the help of the occasional therapist. I am not manic anymore, although May was a hard month for me because of my PTSD, which caused me feeling my body having flashbacks to what it felt like to have untreated Type 1 diabetes. I was really sick at that time, nobody knew I needed insulin also. I was stuck in a bad situation until I lapsed into diabetic coma at the end of May 1991. I am medically fragile, because I’m trying to keep my head above water.

Contactee Stories

 

In Spain, I was sitting at the beach in Muros, Monte Louro when I saw an object in the sky not quite like anything else. It was a spaceship of sorts in broad daylight. It was moving across the sky, and the ship, well I thought it was a cargo ship. Muros is near an American military base. I was doing nothing but sitting on the beach reading a book, the ship came and went, it was grey in color, standing out against the blue sky that I remember, as having some clouds. But anyway, I saw a UFO and my reaction was “whoa, cool” then I went back to reading my book.

Money Anxiety

You guys already know that I am anxious person with severe anxiety problems due to schizoaffective, anxiety that I need treated by an actual therapist. My anxiety is something that is pervasive in nature, only because it permeates my entire existence. Today I’m writing about money anxiety since having money sets off this form of anxiety. I live with self-limiting beliefs about generating extra income. My knee injury is probably making it difficult to focus on much.

Yes, it has been painful to have but I was trying to be a copywriter from 2017-December 2019. I’m not a compulsive spender but a compulsive saver, who doesn’t always like spending money. I do not feel it is wise to borrow from friends, but only because I will pay them back. I truly do not feel entitled to my money despite knowing I am, and I have many ridiculous money fears. Sometimes I have worked for free, because I’m an undercharger. There is such thing as a group called Underearners Anonymous that someone told me about a long time ago. I do not necessarily hoard. I don’t have an attachment to possessions, necessarily, but I try to keep impulsive spending to a minimum, being careful of how many books I spend money on.

Necessary literature is necessary, and I haven’t overcrowded the other bedroom in this house with my expenses. I’m working on reigning in my manic spending. I do not have a partner to lie about my spending too but at the same time, I will lie to friends I guess. I only have one credit cad so in the end, I feel I have good financial habits. I’m working on them. I guess I would like a financial therapist to help me wrap my brain around money better.

https://www.spaceshipinvest.com.au/learn/what-is-money-anxiety-disorder/

Contactee Stress

Talking about personal contact experiences is something I find deeply traumatizing. It’s why I typed up a journal entry, saved it onto my blog, and eventually kept updating this blog without it visible. I was out on the deck with my family; I’ve seen UFOs on a cruise ship that was near Catalina Island at night once in the summer of 1993. It was a line of orange lights that eventually joined each other in a circle, disappearing from view. I have had a lifelong interest in UFOs and science fiction. We are being prepared for something, for first contact. If we can free ourselves from the fascism gripping the United States, then we may wind up getting helped by the otherworldly.

Why I Fear Success

Research on success phobia, and stress, says that fear of success is an actual phobia. I found an actual reference to fear of success, called Achievemephobia. https://www.fearof.net/fear-of-success-phobia-achievemephobia/ I recognize myself of fearing success. I fear it, and I avoid it. But then again my family fears me succeeding at anything, so if I do succeed I’m afraid of them falling apart due to not taking medication at all. This article calls fear of success an actual phobia. The article even mentions that some CEOs having a fear of success.

I fear: being unable to handle what I want, so I have a history of underachievement, since that feels comfortable for me. I’m a shy person who is prone to extroversion when manic, so I have to avoid getting manic or overly enthusiastic around people who may trigger me into saying too much about stuff I need to keep secret. My parents pressured me to study a lot though, to study in excess, which is why I am trying not to overwork myself in the present. I have heard people tell me I will not succeed, which lends itself nicely to my fear of success.

My fear of success is something I can ride out though, without spending on eBay when I don’t need to. Success will not drive me to suicide, since I know how to get my head out of my ass on my own. I wouldn’t live by myself without knowing how to do this. I need some hypnotherapy to get over my fear of success. But see, this fear of success is ridiculous sounding though, and I know how it sounds to you, reader. I have to beat this fear in order to get anywhere in my life, period, that is the bottom line.

How I Won My Kitchen Knife Company’s Contest

This was my first job, first, and second, I won a huge contest for the entire team. My mother was super-angry while I was pitching to her. But it turns out my order won the whole contest. I freaked out and cried. This is why I fear success actually, because meteoric anything makes me just flip out. It’s why I try to reign in my need for success. I try to keep it under wraps. I have to be careful with how much success I experience on a regular basis. I try to make sure I’m gentle with myself because I’m easily thrown off balance sometimes. Sudden success for me would mean that I would put myself in mental health rehab with Bridges to Recovery so I can deal with my mental health better.

Just Try To Debunk the Door Knob Picture on this Blog

My doorknob picture is hard to debunk. I showed my confused internist. She saw it and realized, there is something more to this talent. Yes, it is a bizarre talent I want to take on America’s Got Talent one day when the coronavirus crisis is over with, and/or I get very stable, since I can’t take that kind of stress right now anyway. I’m a writer of books, and my experience with telekinesis/psychokinesis simply has taught me that I can change the composition of matter. I need good affidavits from observant people, like my neighbors for example, who have seen my fence last summer? That fence had nails that were bent. I have no idea how it happened. But I’m so fragile I cannot deal with skeptics right now or anybody giving me shit about anything. I’m trying to keep my head above water because of Mr. Hernia, and this is bothering me, having a hernia to have to deal with.