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The Non-Profit, I Finally Found a Mentor

Certain aspects of being chronically ill wiped me out after I talked to him but he put me on the right path.  I’m keeping up with cleaning the house, and staying home a lot due  to the pandemic. I’m vaccinated for a lot of different things like the flu and COVID. For goodness’ sake, get the booster. I’m not sick right now as the case may be, precisely because I got vaccinated. Anyway, I found a mentor for my non-profit at long last. Sometimes you have to make noise. SCORE put all its Silicon Valley webinars online. They also made them freeish? I’m confused.

And my next step is to buy some more Nolo press  books on non-profits. I got my usual $25 from ProductReportCard. You can get decent surveys, make actual Amazon certificates, and get stuff. I ordered this one book I needed for my own personal sanity.  I have a lot of other survey companies I’m a member of but of course I can’t do all of them in one day.  I have to pick and choose.

For ThriftyPig, I’m almost at 50 coins which can be redeemed also. I need potting soil but Amazon doesn’t get what brand Miracle Grow while eBay does. I’m working on my research project for owning franchises but of course, I’m doing the ooh shiny thing again with my interests, my many interests. By Ooh Shiny I mean that it is the Ooh Shiny Effect. No sooner do I find one interest, then I get easily bored, going, what am I doing? I’m deciding to take social psychology in Spring Quarter at Foothill College . I have to kick my own ass into dealing with the counseling department at said school.

I can multi-task despite my schizoaffective, probably better because of it.  Chronic illness is simply our narrative in this society. I found a decent mentor who gets me. I had one session with him and it is time to arrange another one . I need to get that book, so today I’ve decided to find a copy on Amazon .  I mean I’m just a productive person who is still meeting my work goals despite my chronic illnesses. Type 1 diabetes can be hard to deal with even if you infuse.

I’m trying to get this particular beast under control. I’m out of sensors to use with my continuous glucose  monitor I’m keeping in the charger as Instructed to by tech support. My shipment is coming after January 30th. As far as my hernia-trapped body with its crazy limited diet goes, I can no longer have jam with citric acid in it. This causes me acid reflux. I am trying to find brands without it, organic brands from Etsy. 

I’m losing my mind as my diet is becoming more limited by the day. I’d have to be on a liquid diet after hernia surgery, I’d also need a roommate. Someone sane who will not treat me badly.  I’d also live with someone who works outside of the house during the day.  I mean I’d charge a cheap rent.  I cannot live with someone who works front lines but who is vaccinated and masked.  I am a business of one but I got my booster.  It is the height of stupidity not to get a booster. I went and got one for myself to stay well.

The Non-Profit We Help – Where Did this Idea Come from?

When I call domestic violence organizations for help, they assume that I’m calling about leaving an abusive partner.  They have limited resources for people trying to escape toxic families to none at all. If it’s your family, its like, bah, why should we help you? I’m a member of various Facebook groups I’m not going to mention here since my family never reads this blog anyway. See what I deal with? I have family on three continents and they think the problems are my fault.  Nobody helps me financially either.

My organization is going to try to help people financially. I envision buying and taking over a huge warehouse as our base of operations.  How many chronically ill and disabled people are stuck with their families?  How much abuse do we have to tolerate? Quite a lot.  I’m looking to start fundraising in the near future.  I’ve done at least one SCORE class on non-profits. The most useful advice I got was put everything in a separate account. 

What advice I get from SCORE is to get a real job.  But then again I’m a writer who wants to publish books.  That’s a real enough job for me considering how much money books can make?  It is easy to get a bestseller status,  which is 100,000 copies.  See, I work hard most days, but it goes unsung and unrecognized.  I keep trying to find a job but I feel honestly like I’m under a curse. 

You see, some people tell lies about my capabilities that my community believes.  I mean if my family worked in that community but no one from major companies is willing to hire me because of my disability that oh I’m not supposed to talk about but it unfortunately impacts my life.  Am I supposed to move about sight unseen, hidden, lurking and hiding my disability in plain sight, which would get me into serious trouble as some have suggested?

Is all of Mountain View aware that what they believe about me is a false narrative?  I was never retarded or on the autism spectrum, period.  I took a psychological test that proves I’m not ADD at all much less on the spectrum, and as it is I’m way more educated than both parents. I’m actually quite hard to frak with, take advantage of and I can spot a liar very quickly.  Why today I wasn’t necessarily hiding my psychic talent either? But apparently my local metaphysical shops believe bad things about me too.

Or maybe its just my own belief system screwing with my self-confidence because I’m under a don’t you dare get a job kind of psychic attack.  I have sent out so many applications and at times I don’t even get non-paid internships.  I mean I need to see a hypnotist to get rid of this crap.  Honestly, since my family apparently wants my money without earning it.  Out of the sheer goodness of my heart, wow, yeah, okay, nobody gets a dime until everybody gets tested for 22q.

You will be bribed into a blood test.  Yes, I mean from my mother to my father and everybody else in between.  You just never know which kid will be born schizoaffective next.  It could be my cousin’s children when they have children.  Yes, I think that far ahead.  I mean if some people got lucky with their daughter, it does not mean that someday she might have a child with the deletion.

I’d rest easier if I knew who carries the deletion and who doesn’t.  In 2014, I laid groundwork for eventually getting this project done, while putting it on film.  Not that I want to go to Spain right now, I have a hiatal hernia, which means my traveling options are limited.  I might run into massive complications.  We don’t want to be the sick passenger, ever because I can indefinitely keep my shit together.  I’m not setting foot in Spain without an entourage, including a huge security detail.  Since no family helps me financially, how the hell are they just going to help themselves to my money?  Some have said in private it isn’t necessary.  K, freeloaders?

Even when I make real money, it is not about give it to mommy and daddy syndrome yeah?  It is about me paying the HOA fee and the property taxes that’s what.  That’s all the mula you’ll be getting dumbasses. I’m not made of money? What makes you think I’m rich beehach?  What I want to do is impress the crap out of this planet and people who assume things are impossible for someone with 22q/Velocardiofacial syndrome to do. And a word, I know about the Ex’s situations, and I would like it if he stay away from me because he’s decompensating yeah?  He ain’t getting a freakin dime either. The siblings of the Ex ignore this blog and me also, and I’m really sick to death of not having real money around but hey I’ve got to keep plugging away stuff. 

The Writing Business Is Tough

Don’t get me wrong, I like it, I work hard, and my neighborhood knows it.  But the thing is, one of my old doctors remarked that I’m in the wrong business.  Then again, she has a point, although I’m learning how to manage stress so that fact doesn’t get to me.  Therapy helps you learn stress management.  As it is, I have like three therapists right now.  The thing about life in general is that you have to make an effort, to succeed.  It is not random- the thing about success is that it is planned.  I’m working on learning how to pitch my writing, it will take time to learn-eventually I’m going to publish stuff.  Working hard eventually pays off even if there are no guarantees.

Energetic Boundaries- Cyndi Dale technique/approach

I have to say that I’m trying to read a lot about my energy boundary issues, although I’m trying not to slip into Mule mode, which means my parents get their energy work done for them by me. The mere fact that I have work to do on my own, means that I have to quit doing mom and dad’s work as though my life depends on it. Really, I’m trying to route their energy needs to the Divine even as right now I’m working on my chakra issues using a chakra book that the self-isolation has given me enough time to get done with. If anything, I’m working on that chakra self-help book. I’m working on getting myself the insights I need, but I may start booking readings with psychics at East West bookshop only because I have to start schmoozing more with more than one kind of person, although due to Mr. Hernia I have to be wary of pagans, or for that matter, anybody carrying around the title of “witch.”

What Have I Learned About Non-Profits

I took one SCORE nonprofit class. I feel hopeless in getting any kind of job right now even if that’s what SCORE said to do the last time.  I got mentor ship from a mentor and yes, that’s what passes for mentorship I guess because given my chronic illnesses I wasn’t telling him about, I didn’t get good advice.  I was with an Indian male and I’m thinking, wow, that’s totally incompatible with me because what do I have in common with him?  Not much common ground there.  I’d have to call SCORE Instead of going through their automated request system.  I feel like I have no help sometimes.

But anyway, non profits are organizations that are not for profit.  They don’t want to or stand to make much money.  Some organizations may be able to toe the line between profit and non profit though like Palo Alto Medical Foundation when they collect co-pays for insurance companies.  Although, let me stick with the non profit idea I have. I want to start a non profit housed in a warehouse type of building.  I want it to be a safe place for people with chronic illness who want to escape their families of origin.

Family is hard to break away from since there are limited resources that exist for this endeavor to become successful.  Why? Because society is set up to help those who escape abusive partners, by now there is more than enough help available for this goal.  It would seem that when it comes to family, there is limited assistance available.  I’m reading the child abuse sourcebook and there are resources in the back. If I read about a domestic violence situation, no doubt I’d be looking at resources for women who want to escape domestically abusive relationships.

As it is, I’m looking to provide people a means of escaping. My non-profit is a great pre-law school situation to put on my application.  I want more than one advanced degree than the next person.  Non profits are there to help people accomplish something they want to do in their lives but none of the nonprofits I have been to have helped me.  I’m dreaming of setting up mine only because I passionately believe that everybody can have a job if they want to with work life balance. I strongly believe that systems change when the change buster steps in to change them. 

Nonprofits are all about helping others by design and my nonprofit will also be designed to be a meeting place for other non-profit organizations who want to meet there without being in a religious environment not always accepting of diversity.  Diversity is the backbone of many a nonprofit anyway.  I need to set up a board for my nonprofit but I can’t pay anybody just yet.  I ran into an interesting little note on my computer my family left me. This note was simply put that I may not be able to support myself. In 2015, the judge ruled me competent to work someday if my illnesses were all treated, and yes, granted back then nobody knew about the hernia.  So I’m going to ignore this behind my back thing on the part of one of my old doctors and be like, whatever. I keep forging ahead, I don’t look back.

Who Does We Help Help?

Why people with major chronic illness of course?!!! People whose illness keeps them trapped in their family of origin financially.  We are going to guide people in the steps of making money but first I’m the one who has to guide myself into making money.  Some people are stuck with their narcissist family members embroiled in embittering wars for their life.  If they do not pay for their own medical care or are in the care of the state like being on SSI/SSDI, then they have to put up with their family telling them what to do still even if they are grown.

I mean I want to help those with mental health diagnosis, because my warehouse would be a way nonprofits can have free meeting space given that we provide tables for this.  I want my warehouse to have a kitchen. We’d also have apartments for people in transition, who want to build their own lives. You have to understand that some people from abusive families have no idea how to make their own decisions.  I mean I still don’t and my family lives in Spain. With the pandemic as it is, they dare not come back right away because the risk of passing something infectious to me be it COVID, cold or flu is too high.

If they want to come back they certainly haven’t given me a date to come back yet.  At any rate, I’m just submitting my writing in another 10 week fit to submit my fiction material to literary agents I’ve made a list of.  I’m saving it under a writing submissions folder, because my freelance writing folder is huge.  I’m sometimes a touch disorganized although I’m working towards a paperless office.  It’s why I keep things on USB. 

I have another idea for a dry club I’d love to find time to work on but I’ve decided to take time off from business stuff for the rest of this year.  I’m submitting my work because I want to make real money.  I finally have doctors who support this goal.  I’m certainly not hearing them say, “maintain your benefits,” come again?  I need more treatments than SSI can single-handedly pay for.  I need to get back into acupuncture, which works very well at keeping me stable. Oh yes, it does my friends, bipolars swear by it.

I use medication and I want to renter the real of regular meditation I used to practice.  I had it down to 20 minutes a day.  Then my knee injury hit but this is the explanation I’m giving to Muggles.  Since I’m writing about ordinary subjects like business, I’m going to give you guys the Muggle explanation.  Yes, I could write a whole metaphysical tell all but I’m just waiting around for ELAC to come around again and get some free legal advice on my non profit.  I was wondering what to do about this until I wrote this post, thinking to myself that I indeed, have to make sure that I’m going to work on that.  This semester is well under way.  I’m looking forward to legal advice.

Resources Needed for We Help

In order to get this nonprofit off the ground, I have to start getting my hands on some donations put in a separate account.  But first, I have to publish my books to make real money, while also getting a real job or two, selling $5,000 a month of my artwork.  I want to do this only because I think that my nonprofit could go places.  I want to help abused chronically ill people get away from abusive families or in general, help people escape toxic families if you want to extend the clients to those who want to escape their abusive families. 

I’m working on my schoolwork with CCSF English 1A.  I’m doing this only because I feel the need to make sure my MLA doesn’t totally stink.  I am keeping up although I bombed a quiz big time.  I’m learning how to annotate text, something I didn’t know very well how to do in other lit classes.  It’s something that every other person knows how to do except me and I am learning how to highlight relevant ideas, since in high school I once highlighted a whole health book.  Highlighters are meant to highlight relevant information.

I’m relieved this is fixed.  I’m working on fixing my essays.  We help needs a warehouse so I can build a battered disabled person’s shelter.  We need therapists, and drama-free people in general since I’m trying to plan a drama-free and safe environment.  I mean we need to build a warehouse with separate rooms for different people with different kinds of chronic illness.  We also need to have an infirmary with a doctor set up since our nonprofit is helping those with chronic illness.

 I have a support group of people who are interested in this idea, and I might find business partners in that group.  I need to build my businesses this year, next year, and the years following.  I have so many ideas to start putting together.  I need to start a Kickstarter campaign for the nonprofit.  At the very least this would help me piece together a skeleton staff.

I can find many people across my Facebook support groups who can help.  The key is to raise money so we can build the center I’m envisioning.  Center/shelter that is. I mean it would serve also as a rentable center for people who want meeting space, as one way the nonprofit could make money from donations. So if any of you guys feel like offering input on my ideas, let me know through this blog, Facebook, or any other means you think to contact me by. 

I don’t know enough people in the nonprofit scene in San Jose.  I only know that I do not have a degree in psychology, and I’m screwed out of working for the YWCA as I’ve applied there many times.  My Bachelor’s is in English, so hence my desire for a third Associates, and a second Bachelor’s and a first M.S.  I need to take the GRE for the MS, which is why I feel like getting another Bachelor’s for knowledge’s sake.  But anyway, yes, I need to be able to pay my people salaries, hiring many a chronically ill person who has escaped their family to live on their own and take like good care of themselves.

I also would like to have indoor/outdoor gardening spaces in this nonprofit so that we all can have a way to grow vegetables for long-term residents of the facility since this facility is geared towards helping people escape families in short-term or long-term situations.

We’d also provide a computer lab for people to look for jobs with, and design their own websites with if they want to have an Internet business.  It would be part work from home space/work from the shelter space.  I’m envisioning a safe community for disabled people, chronically ill people and victims of toxic parents who want to escape their toxic families.  This is a way to move forward in life since no battered women’s shelter will take me as I’m escaping family and not a man.  They think family is not as lethal or with potential to become lethal as escaping a domestic violence incident from a man.

Here is my idea.  I only hope I can start recruiting people to help me soon enough because this is actually more important than the social network in my head.  There is a sense of safety with people saying my ideas will never work.  They have no idea that I’m watching them with such greedy future billionaire eyes.  I’d actually pay people decent salaries at all my companies.  Yeah, I need to recruit people.  I need more help than I let on, depending on how many people I can stand to be around.

Non Profit We Help What’s It About ?

Why do I want to start a Non-profit called We Help? Only because I want to have a way for chronically ill people stuck living with toxic family to afford a chance to get away from them. Most people say there are resources for leaving an abusive partner but not family.  With family you are stuck with them because “blood is thicker than water,” and the establishment assumes family is safe.  Non profits take care of problems that come from another angel altogether.  This sort of problem is coming from the perspective of the person with chronic illness stuck dealing with their families.

Family bonds are destroyed through narcissistic abuse tactics enacted on the disabled person trying to escape.  I’ve been trying to line up my own financial resources for years with limited luck aside from how I’ve managed to send out my books for the last 9 weeks.  I’m looking to start publishing my books as I had one doctor tell me that makes money.  I had a doctor tell me to stay on my benefits, which I felt was really rude. I have some good ideas I need to talk to ELAC about and do more free legal advise sessions to get them put together.

I have gotten to the point where my psychic network idea is where it is and I need to file articles of incorporation.  Given I find myself with extra income, I can do that. As it is, I need to buy new pajama shorts so that I have clothing.  I also need new t-shirts as many of my t-shirts have holes in it.  It is getting to be a bad scenario. I need to buy new clothing.

Anyway, though, I’m working on this here blog because suddenly some ideas are flowing.  I came up with my September 2021 ideas list.  At any rate, my non profit is supposed to be a way to help people figure out ways of making money. I envision a warehouse with partitioned rooms as it would be a shelter with an infirmary so that those who have limited ways of accessing medical care can access medical care.  We’d have computers so as to help people access technology.

Why is there so much help for people escaping abusers in terms of partners but not enough help when people want to escape family? I don’t get this. I’ve thought this over very carefully.  I want to make this into a non profit network of shelters in every major US city.  Its because people with chronic illness need a place to go.  They’ve got to have a safe place. What sucks is when they don’t have a safe place, because the family friends are unreliable at best.  Why? Because they can’t trust them. That’s why.  Narcissists love having flying monkeys doing their bidding. 

A flying monkey is described as an enabler.

Many people in my hometown are enablers.  I just couldn’t get away from my family even if I was trying to write books that I seek to publish.  I don’t lack resources.  I want to create more resources on this planet even if people tell me my ideas won’t work.  I think they can work give or take I think them through.

Job Discrimination

Yes, I deal with stigma despite being stable.  I have interviewed for The Cheesecake Factory back when I was not afraid of crowds or open spaces as I’ve gotten back into the agoraphobia swing of things.  I am hitching a ride to my I’m the client-occupational therapy class just because of this agoraphobia.  But I was hitching a ride with the busy very nicely in January 2020 because I was mentally well but my pancreatic insufficiency was playing tricks on me and making me hesitant to take long trips by bus just in case.

While on the bus to Mountain View once, I was asked by this one black guy to marry him and I said no, I’m changing seats. I mean it, and it was bizarre because he saw me as unattached.  I had to break it to him that I wasn’t available or interested. This is why the bus feels unsafe for me.  I get interviews but my knee injury had employers looking askance at it. This knee injury is much better now but I have to worry about my hiatal hernia.

I have only two appointments this month, my internist to make chit chat about the not-pimple on my back which has a much longer name that my dermatologist nailed figuring it out, and my psychiatrist.  Hey, buddies I interview with, hire me for goodness sake. I mean I’m stable, and given it doesn’t rain like crazy this weekend, sticking to raining at night, I can get out of the house more this Fall/Winter season. I am trying to figure out ways of making extra income to add to my current source of government income, copywriting money, and eventually published book money.  The goal is to make $15,000 a month as I told one Facebook group I have to not mention the name of but you know who you are.

I mean if I had that kind of money and insurance, I’d be fine. I can pursue other sources of income. It is demeaning to have a doctor who has known you a while tell me to maintain my benefits when the ELAC people say I have good ideas I need to keep to myself.  I love the legal advice clinic. Soon I will get emails saying it is back  in session for the year. I can’t always pay for SCORE classes but when I do it is useful information that is yielded such as “get separate accounts for everything non profit.”  Considering my ignorance as a 40 year-old, I’m glad that I have SCORE as a free to low-cost resource.

It would be nice to be able to take a bus or a Lyft to get to them. I’m picky about what companies I use, such as using eBay over Amazon.  Let’s see how much stamina I have because the pandemic paranoia wore me out.  Yes, the case total is going down a bit right now since I check it not to make myself paranoid but to be relieved I vaccinated because hospitals are full of the sick who didn’t vaccinate.  This virus is petrifying and I do not want to be sickened by it.  With that said, it might be easy to get a job since I said yes I get SSI and got rejected by the Olive Garden. I know how to keep myself busy as Mrs. Self-Employed though.  I’d may as well stick with writing.

Time Management My Way

I manage my time by setting aside one hour to two-hour blocks.  The younger kids always got the advantage over us older kids back in Catholic elementary school.  They had parents who were better advocates.  They got the block schedule over our class schedule being at least 20 minutes to half an hour. I had a useful education don’t get me wrong, the benefits of private school were many, but I feel like I’m still trying to play catch up in my English 1A class.

I do my best to finish stuff when I need to finish it. I’m planning ahead with my first paper for English 1A.  We read a story called the Girl in the Cave. I managed to finish my paper in one hour today.  I got up early to really finish my paper. I also managed to fix Carelink for my CGM.

I’m keeping up with school. Stress is a matter of perspective.  I’ve always wanted to work a real job.  But see, they don’t hire those on SSI because I put that as a yes answer when I worked on my Olive Garden application.  With the Great Resignation, they are looking for willing employees. Eventually companies are going to crack.  I have a root canal on Tuesday. I’m planning on keeping my appointment since I faith healed my low-grade fever.

But I need to keep my appointment this Tuesday, and managed to arrange for a ride with a friend.   Today is a hot August day in the Bay Area.  I’m pretty much staying home all day but I can tolerate 90-91.  See, those of us with 22q get heatstroke. We get very bad heatstroke. I have to plan my book tours around hot weather and my avoidance of hot weather. Standing on a hot street corner anywhere on this planet causes me heatstroke. Symptoms are running a fever, puking my guts out and possibly having high blood sugar from my type 1.

Managing my time is something I have learned to do despite my health problems.  I mean I’m in class having to inject my long acting insulin on occasion.   I may have to go change my infusion set also.  I’m doing the best I can to manage my diabetes, which is really a difficult form to manage but I succeed somehow. Time management will be this way with this week. 1) wrote on paper some main ideas 2) worked on rough draft of outline on computer, 3) wrote first draft of paper.  I have a rough draft and class on Monday at noon.   I also have class Friday at noon too.  I’m going to work on a rough draft edit this Sunday, and I’m going to be in class Monday at noon. Online class is really easy.

For however long this pandemic lasts, schools cannot stay shut forever.  But anyway, this blog is about the reality of life with chronic illness while also having unique talents. I’ve been working hard today.

Many Irons in the Fire

I’m the sort of person who has many irons in the fire. It is just the way I am.  I have multiple interests, I enjoy trying my hand at more than one career at a time.  Mostly I’ve been a writer for five years now while piecing together the Anti-Toxic Dating book, and the Psychic attack book.  I’m trying to figure out a good title since the former is going to be about psychic attack. I have to split one book into three other books, stopping at Chapter 7 more or less. I’ve got to see a hypnotherapist to get some bad things out of my head.

Mostly it is the family brainwashing that is stuck in my head.  I’m trying to quit letting it rattle around in my head.  I have so much going on in my head it is hard to keep it all straight but I’m trying to write it down in other locations.  I’m trying to keep my act together as a work from home person while I can continue to use this address.  I use the Santa Clara University ELAC program with their legal clinic often enough.

I suggested they do virtual sessions for me a long time ago, well before the pandemic began.  I have many irons in the fire only because I like having more than one goal.  My life coaching companies I’m talking to for the case that I will eventually start with them, can see this.  I have not secured a scholarship for one of them but they know I’m capable of making real money through sending out my work to literary agents in the hopes that one eventually bites.

I’m looking to get my books published. For one, that involves making $10,000 a month. This blog could be making me $1,000 a month steady income.  What they need to see, what my social security people need to see is that I make stable income monthly, like clockwork.  It isn’t about coming into a lump sum of money sometime soon. It is about generating stable, steady income streams.  I can do this. I know I can do this. Any family myth about how I can’t do this is stuck in my head, hence why I need to see a hypnotherapist.

Literary empires and business empires were not built in a day.  They need to be built over time. They will eventually be built just as Deepak Chopra and others have their empires.  I will patiently await my turn.  Success can be found after 40,  I self-published my writing back in 2012 as Opening New Dimensions which can be found on Amazon. You guys will just have to find it yourselves but I really ought to be doing more marketing for this book.  I will have to plan my book tours around good weather because I know I can’t handle Las Vegas in the summer, sorry Las Vegas friends.  I just have to plan my whole life around not being out in hot weather above 90 degrees.  Today, everything has been overcast, rather San Franciscan considering my English class belongs to San Francisco City College. It was interesting. I popped in when it was a touch late but I made it still. Doing school treated is interesting because people make sense to me now that I make sense. Yep. Thank god. I picked the right time to go back to school.

Goals for Upwork

Upwork is a freelance project and job website.  I’m trying to apply to specific projects because I work and go to school at the same time.  I’m also going to try to keep up with updating this blog, who knows if I can handle the whole thing? I will try though. At any rate,  I’m saying that I want to keep up with it all.  I’m working on my school situation with my English 1A class.  I’m going to show up to class online today.  We are discussing lying and when lying is necessary if ever, if at all. I’m interested in the books I have ordered. I order books from Alibris these days which works similarly to Amazon but it is way better than Amazon.

I’m feeling adequate, calm, and happy about school but not enough to push myself too much about it. I did my Greyschool 6 step meditation practice and Tibetan exercises practice.  I feel calmer and almost ready to tackle anything.  I did avoid a nasty super low this morning by eating French Toast. This week will play out a certain way with various appointments.

At any rate, I’m just saying that I feel calm.  I feel good, I feel centered.  I am going to make it through this semester. Foothill-De Anza do quarters but every other California junior college is on semesters.  I am not doing things because of a feeling of profound inadequacy today. I’m confronting my self-esteem demons.  I’m realizing I have time to get everything done.

I’m waiting around for this one book to ship to me.  I have textbooks at home for school, Lying by Sam Harris. The other book is Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life.  I’m planning on doing my 8-10 hours of work a week regarding my class time. I’ve already done two this weekend I suppose.  I’m trying not to overload myself. So far, I’m doing a fine job focusing.

At any rate, my stress is perfectly managed this morning. Upwork is something I can make $500 reported a month extra.  I have a cushion, sure, but you can and are allowed to make some extra income within an income threshold.  The limit is $1200 for maintaining EBT but the ultimate limit is $2,000.  SSI is not counting my scholarship since I didn’t get any money out of it anyway due to not having a San Francisco address.  I used my San Jose address for my FASFA form. I live in San jose, duh, and I’m going to wait until I finish this class this semester to enroll in psychobiology next Winter at Foothill.

School has its advantages when you take it online.  But anyway,  I’m interested in getting my psychology associate’s next. I’m basically at San Jose State’s occupational therapy class until I make real money, that much is my decision to make here.  I’m working on the money situation, and making money off of this blog might help. Also, I’m wondering when I’ll find a real job. I have and my books that I’m sending out to a literary agent until someone bites. Slowly but surely.