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This Has Been Way Too Much of A Constant in My Life

Dealing with abusive behavior from other people has caused me to be very standoffish, and reclusive with my new friends. I had to dump one friend who wanted me to be her freakin’ therapist. She was busy doing self-destructive things, which is also something that runs in my family. My family is busy doing that with their habits. But hey, I can’t be direct about how they kind of have that going on for themselves too.

I quit my self-destructive habits in like 2010. I quit drinking, at the very least-I had to stop drinking alcohol. Caffeine was also something I quit. In the present, the intestinal obstruction I had forced me to evaluate my diet. I got into brown rice. Brown rice is something that does not have a heavy effect on your blood sugar. For a while I cut out all carbs, in addition to brown rice. But then your brain needs brain food to function, indeed, to get anything done at all, including activate your metabolism. This is where thyroid hormone comes in for me because I make none of my own. My childhood was about intense stress with no beginning and no end.

I had no medication to tame it. I just knew stress, nothing but stress. I had no idea how to relax myself without medication. It was just nothing but huge stress until I hit 20 and tried Zyprexa, which made me gain weight. Yes, that is a side effect of a medication designed to help psychotic people eat. It is not fun to live in a perpetual state of psychosis, which is why I’m taking my medication. I take taking my medication very seriously. To not have it, that was torment.


My Endoscopy Looms and How I’m Dealing with It

I’m going to get an endoscopy at the end of this month. It isn’t as though my mother takes an interest in anything I have to say online. I don’t even have her friended on Facebook, in fact, she is blocked. I’m busy getting stuff done like copywriting, so in which case, I’m busy. What I wonder about is why I didn’t get a pediatric endoscopy like an old friend from school managed to get at that age. I’m busy writing all the time, I have business idea to put together, I’m actually doing well in all areas. I figured out how to use my infusion set without having ranting hissy fits trigger psychokinesis. It is possible to break glass using PK, which I did my freshman year. I know any spoon or fork bending that happens triggers me into getting into rage mode. I’m trying to figure out other means of control as this PK stuff is like an outlet for coping with intense emotion.

Take care With Your Witchcraft

We pagans face having to be careful with our witchcraft in the present. We cannot be irresponsible, as we were in the past with it. Magick is not about oppressing people, it is about giving power to the oppressed. Yes, sure, the “make a man impotent” trick has been around since humans first evolved on this planet. Witchcraft by itself is a tool. But you have to be very careful with it or you risk making yourself sick. The power can burn you if you are not tenderhearted. You cannot level mean things at people who do not deserve it.

In real life, magick is about personal gain all the time and even if I want to write a book about magick and social justice, which I can do in my sleep, magick is also useful for many different things. Wicca, the practice of witchcraft, and neo-paganism are the fastest-growing religion in the United States. Wiccans believe in the Horned One and the Lady, witchcraft is a series of occult tools for some others, and neo-pagans are people who study ancient pagan traditions while trying to incorporate it into modern life.

Pagans give up Christianity for the right to choose their own path. We rarely go back to Christianity unless brainwashed by attention from a cute guy. I’m certainly not going to change my religion for some man, or anybody else for that matter. Nobody can change my mind about what I’ve decided since my parents curtailed my religious freedom when I was young, and gullible. Magick can do you serious harm if you do not take care of yourself. This is why pagans believe that thoughts are things. We are wary with what kinds of thoughts we think.

If you have a mental illness, this goes double as your moods can affect the moods of the people around you, particularly if you are an empath or worse, a telempath, a person also capable of telepathy. We pagans believe in this stuff, we actively study it. Supernormal human abilities are not feared as we welcome it. One thing I know about myself right now though, is that in the immediate present I’m far too fragile to go to my coven. Sure my knee is better, but I have to take it easy because of the hernia that has been discovered. I cannot be in denial about this shit. It means lighter loads, not hauling heavy things around, and taking care of myself.

Why Pagans Do Not Walk Around Converting People

This is actually a dangerous practice. I can’t stand pagan fundamentalists anymore than I can deal with a Christian fundamentalist. I believe in respecting people’s boundaries, period. An old ex-friend was like the Borg many years ago, as I was an innocent 12 year old with untreated pediatric schizoaffective. I met her at diabetes camp. We both realized we had a mutual interest in science fiction that girls normally don’t have or something, so we bonded. But the thing is, I’m sure that she caused me harm by introducing me to magick when I really should have been following my parent’s rules in terms of what religion to practice that I was allowed to practice.

However, my family was odd about meditation even which I was told recently does not interfere with the Catholic faith at all. Yes, she did me much damage introducing me to metaphorical spiritual power tools. Although she did educate me on what kind of psychic I am. I just wanted her to like me, because I thought she was interesting. Excuse my echoism, a non-narcissist who does not want attention. I really was eager to please growing up.

These days I please only myself. Its okay to put you first, not to run yourself ragged trying to fix other people. That’s codependency. I have learned recently that my knee injury is a lesson in patience, and learning not to overload myself. I was going to work 2 future with intensity, however, and this is how I learned what too much was. I’ve managed to figure out what was too much, as in, what works, what matters more. I learned how to sit in small classes, with proper psychic shields. I have to undertake mental health rehab in Los Angeles, eventually, while finally understanding what is too much.

The Difference Between a Witch and A Pagan

As my life stands now, I don’t think I should participate in any group magickal settings except holidays, because I’m fragile. I might have a hernia, and the other theory is that I have an ulcer. So in which case, I’m too weak to participate in much, not even Meetup groups, and certainly not the Toastmaster group that meets at 7:00 a.m. on Wednesdays. Gee, I wish I could go to that group, if I have the energy. The heat wave made it hard for me to get much done unless it was early in the morning.

I’m too fragile right now to do much psychically, using magick, and well, to think of high priestessing period. A witch is an initiate. It’s a title that you have to earn. When you work with Deities, you think of the religious aspect of the Craft. Some people are pure magick users who want to use their magick to manifest things in their lives. In real life, magick is used for exactly that, personal gain. Witches these days are found everywhere, they follow moon cycles, and the changing seasons. Paganism is a religion and you see that witchcraft uses tools like magick. There are such things as Buddhist and Muslim witches as well.

But anyway, this hernia thing may require surgery. I’m prepared for this. My knee injury persists but is a lot better. And if any family is reading this blog, please make sure to not tell Zod because she doesn’t need to know. Not that she’s paying attention. She had to let go over excessive worry about my health problems. She will not know. The last person I want to see coming out of surgery is her. Period.

Do you believe in magick? We do. But we do not walk around pressuring people into believing what we believe in. We don’t convert people. Others come to magick independently of each other. Magick is the source of all life. It’s kind of like the Force on Star Wars. Magick is the divine spark of conception. It is a powerful energy at work in the world as a tool to overcome oppression. Magick is all about life and death because magick is an intense power that can do either/or to you. It is why my introduction to it was not gentle, causing much drama in my family.

People back then who talked me into trying it out have no business interfering with my family traditions, in particular, how they required me to be Catholic until I was 18 or at least 20. I had many mental health symptoms in church as I had severe anxiety among other things like schizoaffective. When I was a child, I was not allowed to take medication and I got picked on for having symptoms. Imagine that, getting picked on for things you cannot help. In the present, that has somewhat begun to change, as people are less inclined to pick on you for things you cannot help.

There are many times in my past where my mental illness could have killed me. Or the alternative, which meant by my own hand, as I’m a survivor of untreated mental illness. Maybe my survival is proof God exists or something, because there were many times I could have died, in particular, from untreated type 1 diabetes. Magick is what kept me alive, magick and God. God is magick, magick is God, because I strongly believe that magick is linked to the creation of ideas, as well as my survival.

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Icepack for Insulin Pumps and Other Infusion Devices

I’m not quite sure how other infusion devices work but I know there are devices out there besides those that use insulin. Insulin is only one medication amongst other kinds. Infusion is a great way to deliver insulin if only because it works. Yes, sure, it is an incision into your body, which leaves a mark or a hole, but for some reason, perfect diabetes can be accomplished by those of us who infuse because infusion gives me a great quality of life I would not have on shots. Conditions that require infusion include cancer, congestive heart failure, congestive heart failure, heart conditions, Crohn’s disease, gastrointestinal illnesses, hemophilia, immune system problems and are not limited to multiple sclerosis, or others besides rheumatoid arthritis.

Home infusion is a great alternative to having to be an inpatient to receive care. The thing is, that we diabetics have trouble going outside on a hot summer’s day. Or being in desert climates. So I’ve have pretty much decided to avoid going outside when it was 100 degrees in San Jose yesterday. I had to. In order to protect myself, I had to be very careful with how I was going to deal with the heat. Today it will be in the 90s, which is tolerable for me.

My icepack prototype will be attached to the case I’m going to buy for my pump. I’m also going to sew up a sock that I use as my cover for now. With my surplus, I need to buy a new clip for my pump. But hey, I’m making extra money copywriting. I’m going to drop by to the office to talk to them about this, at the end of next week to see if I’m still in the limit. I feel strongly I need surgery for my hernia as some of my readers know from my Facebook page.

I bought water crystals that you can put into a cloth, and stick the crystals into water. The water then expands the crystals, which can then cool medication like insulin or other types. SCORE encouraged me to look at other medications that you can infuse with in order to make my product inclusive towards medications besides insulin. If the stomach cannot take medications given orally because it will destroy the medication with acids, then the alternative is infusion therapy. A sterile catheter needs to be secure inside a vein, sure, but the thing is, infusion with insulin happens by using an infusion set. This set is inserted into the skin using body fat. Muscle hurts. Just trust someone like me who has used infusion for like 19 years, as a way of staying alive the last 19 years of my life. Infusion is the only way I drive when I do not have a hernia in my upper intestine that limits me.

Works Cited