Skip to content

Shutting Off Cars

Shutting off cars happened yesterday for the first time in a long time. I thought I saw/heard a white car shut off and turn on again while waiting for my medical cab ride to go home. In light of selling my old car, I managed to do this because I decided I had to. So what about you know who and what she says which is always laced with delusion. I made the right decision any rational adult on good medication would make. But anyway, shutting off a car did happen, and I managed to do this without thinking too hard about it.

I was just sitting outside thinking about how relieved I was to have sold my car, and to not be driving right now. I’m way more relaxed now that I forgive myself for not driving myself to death. Why should I drive right now when I feel like crap? For that matter, I’m not driving in order to protect myself, period, so I don’t get myself into trouble. I do not have the mental health or stamina to drive right now. So there, I’m not driving as I’d rather shut off cars for those of us who are driving going, haha, carbon footprint much?

What Would I Want With an Archaeology Ph.D.?

Okay why does one body as chronically ill as mine want two Ph.D? Why? Because I’m a nut who likes school that’s what, I want a Ph.D. in archaeology so I can contribute to the field even as I would also like a Ph.D. in psychology. By now you readers have figured out why I’m a science nerd. I was always functional in science class if nothing else because science helped shut off the noise in my head. Now that I have better psychic boundaries and interpersonal boundaries, I’m able to screen stuff out. Bear in mind I come from people with talent who do not believe in utilizing psychic boundaries, I do though because I need to keep myself sane/functional. As an archaeologist invested in studying ancient aliens theory and real science such as depicted in the Ancient Origins website, I want to contribute to scientific discovery in some way, and being the Star Trek geek that I am, I want to interest myself in archaeology like Captain Picard did. That’s the truth as to why I’m driven to get two PhDs.

Ignoring the Minions of the Narcissist

Ignoring the minions takes work since I have discovered my family ‘s specific minions. I know who is a minion, and whom I have to keep hernia surgery secret from. I’m sure there are many people out there that I can’t trust for a ride home. But then again, whom can I trust? I can only trust my own friends, my friends. I only trust a handful of people with this stuff. So now if you are my Facebook friend, and you read my blog, chances are there is a place for you in the great Hernia heist of 2020 that she won’t know about.

Why Children Need Therapy

Children need therapy since their minds are fragile. They cannot be exposed to domestic violence without having serious effects on their psyche. They are certain types of beings that need a calm existence growing up. The opposite of that causes mental health problems such as PTSD/CPTSD. I’m also dealing with anxiety and depression, and my schizoaffective came from both parents. I also have OCD. This OCD is something that has haunted me my whole life but that I’ve never been hospitalized for. I could have been hospitalized in my teens, 1,000 times over. But I wasn’t. I did somehow not want to go to the hospital. Not even when I was in college, living away from my family but with them paying the rent.

Why Therapy Is Useful

Therapy is one way to get back at those who say therapy isn’t useful, when in fact the psychological sciences are useful. At UCLA I want to study health psychology, so I can be more qualified to become a health coach. Therapy teaches you how to calm down, how to talk yourself out of a bad headspace, and I need to be in Bridges to Recovery therapy. It’d be cool to just make enough money so I can be in rehab for a year. I need to get myself into in-patient rehabilitation. I cannot go on this way, half-assed treated, with everything halfway fixed. I’m trapped and I have to free myself from the trap.

What is a Trigger?

Those of us who know about mental health call a trigger something that makes you feel a certain way, do something (in my case sleep eat,) and other situations. In our mental health community we are careful if our life story “triggers” someone else. Ironically my set failure has not triggered my Pk yet. Its why on Facebook, we have to mention that we are triggering something in someone by discussing the trauma. This is maybe because I know my telekinesis book is coming in the mail, or that I feel better because I know my blood sugar is high from a set failure as bad as 365 mg/dl. I went up, not down, my body is not in fight or flight mode yet, but I do need more strips. A trigger for lack of a better term, is pretty much something that means you feel the way you used to feel, relive a past trauma or just plain freak out at someone else’s trauma. We sufferers of CPTSD know what this is about and we try not to scare others with our baggage.

Drilling The Drawers

Drilling into my drawers means there is more than one hole necessary. Based on the structure of the drawer, I have to say I need to drill many holes. The holes will allow water to drain, while also encouraging roots to grow. The roots will eventually grow in if the plant is meant to survive. Things grow in the plastic container but not in the drawer. I’m going to have to buy a few more plastic containers, only because I need some that actually sponsor growing a plant in it. I’m scared to transplant my one big plant right now, which is why I’m focused on drilling holes. My greenhouse should go into the dresser that I gutted from the inside. My family is so dumb, they decide to put drawers back into the spent dresser that has been exposed to the elements a lot this year, so much so that the paint is destroyed.