Skip to content

Revenge Fantasies Haunt My Waking World

May 26, 2018

You see, I have revenge fantasies but the content is something I work at repressing. As in, the best revenge I could have is to take my medication consistently and be super-responsible. Skipping medication is not an act of rebellion or revenge in my mind, as taking my medication is more important than this. I make sure certain people do not have the mileage to say I’m unstable. When picked on, I feel a livid rage since me being stable as long as I have is not good enough. No, it is not good enough until I pay up the condo to my family. Then I have to pay the HOA fee and my own insurance that I have to pay up for. I need a PPO. The best revenge fantasy is to stay stable, be happy, and write a lot since I have a condo of my own to write in. The ultimate revenge is to make money: enough money to take care of myself. I’m competent to take my medication but some people aren’t. I’m pretty livid at stuff in my past, being a bullying victim.

 

Many things done to me in my childhood could have been preventable. In particular, the whole throw-a-softball to land on my eye bit in 8th grade. That caused eye damage at some point although I’m not sure it is still there. I mean I need to make the bullies pay up. It could be seed money for my businesses if they choose to do so. I’m doing quite well all things considered. Sometimes karma doesn’t kick somebody’s ass. My whole life, I do not see karma as a valid method of feeling better about people who have done you wrong. Some trauma will be what us trauma victims live with the rest of our lives.

Advertisements

From → Psychology

Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: