I’m In Control

I have more or less perfect brittle diabetes. Brittle diabetes means that your blood sugars sometimes swing wildly with no explanation, from high to low. My middle of the night readings have been perfect by now with an exception of being 174. I only woke up twice, I got a refreshing night’s sleep. My diabetes was not discovered until I was 10, but I was pre-diabetic at nine. You see, at the beginning of this month, I was fighting to stay asleep at night still. This is a regular event for me most nights anyway until recently as I have taken that whole manifestation thing very seriously, trying to have total faith in the outcome.

Your thoughts may have a lot to do with your life, and what happens in it. On July first I had a few super-high blood sugars. July 1st was a Sunday, which meant I knew I couldn’t drive with blood sugars of 366 mg/dl. At 6:57 a.m. that is, mg/dl means (milligrams per deciliter). I had stabilized the next day to 9:28 a.m. where I was 266 mg/dl. I was 123 mg/dl on July 2nd , at 11:11 a.m. I still have a pattern of middle of the afternoon high blood sugars, but I have stopped even that. I’m on my way to having perfect diabetes. By July the 6th, I was having low blood sugars as I dedicated myself to filling my head with thoughts of success from July 1st, on, before I went to sleep.

By July 8th, I was waking up only three times. This is why I keep a journal on computer. It is easier on my manual dexterity issues to type than to use a pen and paper. On July 10th, I had a 7:02 a.m. 343 but managed to be 170, and 167. I stabilized myself. On July 14th, I was able to wake up at 1:54 a.m. at 136, this was the first leap forward in conquering the middle of the night. By July 15th, I was stable enough to have really good readings in the middle of the night. On July 17th, I was 243 at 2:22 a.m. On July 20th, I was 86 at 12:55 a.m. and at 1:15 a.m. I was 231. I was 100, at 1:16 a.m. and 4:33 a.m 290. I was successful on July 23rd, at 2:18 a.m. 142, 7:14 a.m. 152. 7:54 p.m. 197. I’ve really been working on sleeping more. I have experienced massive success at this diabetes management business. You see, I’m succeeding.

So F it for those who want me to fail. There are some people in my family who want that. I’m succeeding anyway, all the while filling myself with happiness, good thoughts, perky thoughts, and feeling good in general, despite being low-income. I am well within my rights to say, see ya to my family’s sabotage. I will not be attending Thanksgiving until certain people are sent to a psychiatrist and treated properly. I don’t need to be sneered at, as in, quiet female, when I say something. I’m removing myself from a toxic environment. Bye! Have a good holiday season, I’m not around.