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Why I Struggle to Deal With Crowds

May 8, 2019

Due to past life fears coming up in my present, I’m still terrified of crowds. Going to any Whole Foods is one huge crowd. I fear games, auditoriums, plays and clubs. Not stores necessarily, that fear has been dealt with properly. But I still have a persistent fear of crowded bridges, highways, etc. I fear being burnt at the stake in this lifetime, again, as I’m paranoid about such things. I’m trying to take it easy this summer, as my life is no longer as stressful as it once was. I spent many years trying to figure out how my brain worked or didn’t work.

How was I supposed to know when growing up that I had schizophrenia but was not put on medication? Crowds still scare me a touch, in particular crowds at shows. I am troubled by present life flashbacking and past life flashbacking. I get both. But see, I’m trying not to pressure myself into doing much right now. At all. If anything. I’m trying to heal my knee. But then again I may eventually set myself up with a part-time job in the real world as well as a volunteer gig.

Past life fears crop up every now and then along with past life knowledge. This is why I say I have an instructional manual in my head. Actually there is a lot in there. There is a lot going on. I dare say my next relationship will have to understand that. I need help unpacking what is in my head. Maybe with hypnosis, a tape recorder, and trance channeling as I’m something called a trance medium, maybe we can uncover what is in there. It is a lot of work, which has to be done with safety in mind though, as well as bearing in mind I have schizoaffective.

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