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How I’m Dealing With My Codependency

July 24, 2020

I am. By confronting it, since I’m haunted by this basic feeling of inadequacy around other people. I do not want to fall into a codependent relationship only because I’ve been in one, being the supply of encouragement, energy, and tolerance of addiction. Dominant personalities run the life of a codependent person, who puts up with domineering behavior, and this is the way I was with my ex boyfriend, and an ex friend in general. Enabling is an unhealthy way to exist, that I have learned not to exist with in living on my own for the last four years.

I have learned that I only have myself to rely on for making decisions, about relationships, to identify what it is I feel, and to learn to trust myself. If anything I have learned to trust myself, since that is better than subjecting yourself to chronic self-doubt. I’m working on my self-esteem, because I have fears of abandonment, and an occasional all-encompassing need for approval. I do not need to lose myself in relationships, nor do I need to take responsibility for the behavior of others. I dumped the Ex for a reason. My family refuses to seek treatment for mental illness and substance abuse, and I want to avoid them, so I’m not codependently watching out for them all the time.

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