Self Compassion Vs. Compassion for Others

I have immense trouble showing myself compassion while I have plenty to give others and since with the pandemic, I live by myself and others are in short supply, I’m trying to show myself the compassion I need to show myself.  Compassion is a waste in someone who is codependent enough to put up with abuse.  Abusers are pretty much into messing with someone by gaslighting them in order to bring them down.  They look for victims in people who would offer them compassion.  I’m working on my codependency as it is.  I refuse to be mistreated anymore by anybody, in particular my own family.  Take it or leave it.