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Remove Yourself From Toxic Environments

July 5, 2018

 

You see. I was not removed from toxic environments as a child. Some environments were more toxic than others. Nobody helps me anyway. I’m on my own in more ways than one since I live by myself. Elementary school started to get toxic in 4th grade when the teacher would punish us with homework. As in, anybody acted out or misbehaved, she’d give us homework. I recently heard she died but well, she did give us way too much homework in the past. Some people couldn’t handle it if I recall but my family forced me to do my homework despite my type-1 diabetes symptoms.
 

I got through 4th grade somehow. Then in 5th grade, we got my dog that was a really adorable sweetheart. Gee, I wish I had more pictures. Puberty made me anxious but I wasn’t on pediatric schizophrenia medication at all even if they kept saying I should be on some. But then again nobody listened to this sound advice. If the situation had been up to me, as many families are not as authoritarian, I would have removed myself from that toxic environment. I wish time travel could fix my life. I’d be in law school earlier than now and not an alcoholic from 2002-2010. That was a costly 8 years. Public school was such a relief though because I wasn’t as picked on. Although the bullies kept coming because I was singled out for having an untreated mental illness but at least now I’m stable, and can continue with my life path uninterrupted. Hence why I’m updating my blog a lot because I want to be able to make $500 off this blog if that is even possible. In high school, I wasn’t allowed to try public school. I had to go to the high school they chose.

 

In college, I walked out on hostile people or gave them shit back. I managed to control my hostile environments by removing myself from my first living situation. One roommate could have hurt me. She was probably an untreated mentally ill person. She deliberately picked fights with me until the end. I was only allowed to move my second semester. I did go through half a semester without meds but then again I didn’t have a proper mental health diagnosis until I found SSI, a decent psychiatrist who was a mental illness believer compared to the unbeliever I was seeing, and finally, I managed to get a diagnosis in 2012, when I was 30.

 

I spent 30 years without a diagnosis. But then again I finally got one. These days I remove myself from a hostile environment or give somebody hostile shit back. I’m able to say my life is now free of toxic influences since I dump people who are hostile, toxic, or weird. I dump them and I don’t look back. That is the last time, you will do this to me, is what I say to all of them. Anybody who wants to bring me down, well we’re done.

 

 

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