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How My Alcoholism Impacted My Life

April 29, 2019

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My alcoholism has impacted my life because alcohol was cheaper than law school. I should have not even tried it in the first place as someone with hypothyroidism because alcohol can make brain fog worse. You see, we alcoholics do not know how much we drink. It can make schizophrenia worse. I spent my twenties trying many different medications without a proper diagnosis of schizoaffective only because I was still not allowed to visit a proper psychiatrist. Without a good diagnosis that makes sense, I didn’t know what I was dealing with and I think my doctor who diagnosed my 22q didn’t know that I was being groomed for alcohol consumption.

I should have not touched it but you see, we often do not know how much we were drinking. By 2004, I had a high tolerance for alcohol but I had no clue how much it was interfering with my life until 2007 when I graduated. Somehow I stayed half-assed stable during college. Yes, I got stigmatized that one half a semester I was off meds. Yes, they passed the pen around to me over and over again, a pen that had a medication on it, as if I was missing the point. I eventually yelled at them to stop and said something nasty to someone to get them to shut up. At San Francisco State, there was attitude, snark, and nasty behavior. I rebelled against this crap because I prefer to be a politics-free nice person. I would have finished law school early had I been stable enough to figure out how to get away from my family. But no, alcoholism was one huge distraction hissy fit. I have stayed away from alcohol 9 years now. I will never go back as I get flirtatious, girly, and easily brainwashed. A psychic with my level of talent should not drink, period.

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