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August 30th, 2019

August 30, 2019

I have been overworking myself. I use my chi to stay alert instead of caffeine or chocolate but I’m effectively exhausting myself. It is just that time of year, the days are getting shorter. I’m keeping my meds high until Winter. Because of my skin infections I can’t go to the pool. But at least I can have ice cream. The art of Qi gong is about using your intake of breath three times to cultivate physical strength. According to this website,

I alternate between grounded energy and weak energy. I have been waking up way too early and not getting enough deep sleep. I slept ate two days ago, getting into chocolate fudge cookies from Keebler. Chi can be used to beat illness, no doubt as I was trying to use it to combat my brain fog. Now that feeling is few and far between but I still get tired. I woke up at 6 today. My use of chi may mean the difference with getting dementia or not getting the dementia that runs in my family. Today my chi feels most unbalanced, because I feel stressed and agitated. Mental chi is something I have never heard of before, not even in my Qigong class with Dr. Chow.

In college I was not as stable as I am in the present. I realize there are many blockages in my chi today that mean I’m not focused. I woke up way too early. I know this is a chi problem. Too much chi is mania. I need to find a balance. This is the seasonal changes, which is why I’m keeping my Geodon high. I feel a touch hypomanic today despite going to bed at 7 p.m. I’ve been tired, and a touch wound up but stressed, and depressed. This is what I get for mistaking midnight for 6:00 a.m. and doing a binge on chocolate while biological family drinks at that time in Spain.

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