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The Voice In My Head

December 10, 2019

I have a tape in my head, and with schizophrenia your voices can get quite loud sometimes. We schizoaffectives believe our delusions when not on medication, but medication helps you pretty much stay aware that delusions are false, passing, and confusing. Cops do not often know how to deal with people’s delusions. The tape in my head says rude things. But lately I have been able to shut out the voice. I have to make an effort not to listen to it. The voice is something my roommate in Fall 2004 shoved into my brain knowing full well I had a mental illness I didn’t know what to call because in college I was still being deprived of proper medication, since my treatment was half-assed. Now that I know I’m a schizoaffective bipolar and I insisted on being diagnosed with OCD just to get treatment, I feel better. I’m so grateful I have insurance however low income I have to be.

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