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Why I Continued To Drink For Too Long: How To Stop People from Brainwashing You Back into Your Addiction

December 15, 2019

12 step groups are filled with people who want to permanently break their addiction. My friends in my 12-step group have given up one kind of addiction or another. Substituting caffeine for alcohol can make mania a lot worse. I didn’t quit caffeine until 2014 because even Very Berry Hibiscus has it, hot chocolate is a mild form of it, and I was told that Very Berry Hibiscus didn’t have any caffeine in it, which means I had been lied to. I’m very caffeine sensitive.

I continued to drink until I pulled myself together when I started therapy with a transpersonal psychologist. I’m looking for a transpersonal psychiatrist in San Jose by now, and I’m going to hook myself up with a transpersonal psychologist also. I drank to control the fear I had around my psychic talent. It made it easier not to blab psychic things to Muggles. I fear scaring people with my talents and likewise, being taken advantage of by people who refuse to pay for services. I have a chip reader that is almost ready for action.

I am working on my degree, psychic arts and healing, my typical double major. I need to learn how to not get stressed with schoolwork. This will trigger me into either drinking again or bamboozling myself into caffeine use. What truly scares me is the panic attacks coffee would induce, along with a possible heart attack. Caffeine used to give me heart palpitations from the panic. Alcohol calmed me down enough to sleep. Avoiding contact with those who pressure you into drinking no matter how often you say no to them is one way of doing things. I will not go to a place where my boundaries are not respected. No alcohol, means no alcohol. I’m sorry if that threatens my family but seriously, I’m a powerful little bitch and alcohol makes me way too easily pushed around. Deal with my unconventional nature or get the hell out of my way!

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