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The Way Stress Affects Me Personally

April 18, 2020

Stress pretty much is something I need to learn better control or management with. I need to learn easier stress management with stuff, only because I am affected by it. I used to get headaches, and stomachaches, galore which in my adult life I understand as stress but I wasn’t allowed to talk to a therapist until the elementary school got a nun who served as a quasi “therapist.” Therapists teach practical things like stress management. I would have done so much better in school had I had one, although occasionally the school would cart in therapists from therapy clinics in town. Stress makes me crack up, what causes me stress though is feeling inadequate if I’m not working, feeling inadequate for being smart and yet feeling inadequate anyway because what if I’m not? That’s stuff that comes from my family, and messages I got in school from the other kids.

Stress makes me feel very frazzled, anxious, and highly stressed out in general. Mental illness symptoms are aggravated by stress. I try to keep my life low-key and low stress. I try to get in bed by 7 p.m. most nights. I try to contain my paranoid tendencies. I’m working very hard to make something of myself without engaging in the extreme overwork I was saturated in growing up, as well as exposed to in my adult life. I felt like I had to be doing something when I was living with my parent’s way back, before they moved to Spain. Stress is something that I’m trying to limit my exposure to. It means I’m going back to bed a lot, adapting to seasonal changes, so I’m trying to get enough sleep. Stress weakens your immune system, this means I’m also trying to limit my anxious thoughts. I’m trying to not get too paranoid about the virus. I’m working on making sure I stay calm.

Stress is never good for anybody, its why I’m not taking advantage of all the jobs out there, that could come up, I’m not going to try anything retail just because that could get me very sick. Workers are not being treated very well anyhow, even if they are called essential, are being forced to work while ill. I would never expect that of myself. I’m not leaving the house until the virus blows over. Too much stress and a germ latches in. Exposure to other people also creates this possibility. I’m doing my best here.

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