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What Is PTSD? What is C-PTSD

July 15, 2018

C-PTSD is a chronic form of PTSD with way more flashbacks brought on daily by thinking about the trauma. Complex PTSD is about having way more symptoms because you were under incredibly prolonged stress to bring on the C-PTSD. For example, ongoing hostility in a situation can trigger C-PTSD later on life if this happened in your childhood. Domestic violence or forced sex trafficking can be styles of C-PTSD triggers. ( My classmates’ abuse had an impact on me in elementary school. I now know why I have trouble with trusting people. Trust that builds is easy to destroy because of my mental health.

I feel alone a lot even when I’m in a crowd full of people. I hear this is common for survivors. I also get major flashbacks of my past, drama, trauma, and what my family would say to me growing up. Visual flashbacks are something I relive daily, which is terrifying to say the least, somatic flashbacks can be about pain everywhere in the body, which feels the trauma again as if it were happening in the now. Feeling intense emotions is a type of PTSD. I experience hypervigilance daily, sometimes I view people I trust as difficult to trust.

I was screwed over by a friend who wanted way too much attention, and now I can barely trust my new friends, even my coven. I have immense trouble trusting anybody. My family threw out my mirrors, my compass, and just stuff in general that was mine. This is why I don’t trust them, why I’m getting away during the holidays. I view everybody as potentially abusive, and this is why I have to get away from my family since they exacerbate those feelings. PTSD is the result of one traumatic incident, while C-PTSD is a response to repeated trauma.

For many years, it would seem that my trauma didn’t end. C-PTSD causes emotional mood swings and my senior year, I spent a good half semester crying in my Spanish class from my ride to school since that ride made sure I’d be late. My mind definitely goes blank when I’m under stress.( Survivors feel the shame, self-hate, and guilt. I do not idealize my abusers though.

Much of what I was mistreated for was being gender non-conforming. I had oppositional defiant disorder as a child. I was hooked on rescuing said friend that screwed me over by trying to take advantage of me. She ever shows up where I live, the cops are going to be called. She couldn’t accept divine protection. I feel very disconnected from my spirituality right now because I can’t seem to come up with good rituals. Stress does make me feel physical pain, digestive problems, but not headaches since I take my medication. This is something said friend would not do daily because of her own trauma issues. I know to take my medication and nobody can talk me out of it.

Treatment for C-PTSD requires Dialectic Behavioral Therapy, which I do not have access to right now. Sometimes I have trouble tolerating stress so I avoid getting stressed out by using my medication. I need therapy, so hopefully this blog can make me significant income so that I can enroll in a program and do something about my situation.


From → Health, Psychology

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