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Childhood Emotional Neglect

September 12, 2018

Dr. Jonice Webb’s work on Childhood Emotional Neglect is searing for me to read. CEN is a very real thing about parents who are unresponsive to their children while not teaching them how to regulate their emotions. Unlike many with CEN, I know my life has a purpose, I know why I’m on the planet. This is to overhaul the American health care system as well as those in other countries. Some people struggle more with others over these questions. I have trouble feeling my feelings sometimes. My emotions are not always obvious as I’m on a mood stabilizer, which is a relief to be on.

 

The bottom line is that my mental health was not treated until I was 20. There is not much I can do about my past but I can sure as hell stay medication consistent as a form of revenge. As far as my relationships go, I wonder who is there for me. Really, who is? I’m not sure. I’m way out of touch with my emotions though if only because I’m not sure if I have them, I keep shit repressed. All the time. I’m busy writing an uncensored short story that will never be published about my family.

 

I do not want to do all the “caring for others,” even if people take turns. I grew up feeling like my feelings do not matter. I try to not feel anything, not good, not bad. I try to repress my emotions so they don’t explode. I’ve read Running on Empty and I’m in the process of reading Running on Empty No More. I have no idea how to begin to treat myself. I really don’t say how I feel much. I’ve been severely mistreated by so-called friends whom I have had to dump leaving my support system short a person or two.

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From → Health, Psychology

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