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My curses are ineffective. I can’t hate anybody properly.

October 17, 2018

To be blunt, I simply do not have enough malice, ire, pain, or dark thoughts to throw at somebody who hurt me. I’m not narcissistic enough to have jealousy problems. I dump toxic people when I need to dump toxic people. With regard to my family, I deal with constant crap. I have learned in the last two years, not to be friends with people who cause me more trauma and stress. Curses do not always work for me. I can protect myself with bindings but I cannot curse very well. They never truly work since my family has ways of wiggling out of responsibility. I want to write an ecourse for Udemy called “Personal Responsibility and How to Take It.” Narcissists are content to blame somebody else.

These people are high conflict. They pick fights as their means of narcissistic supply. I do not have a malicious enough heart to make my curses effective. I feel bad I cannot curse properly since I have sympathy for all but I do admire those witches who are cursing 45. That’s impressive by itself, and will contribute to his downfall I’m sure. I really truly cannot hate anybody well.

I just can’t hurt people. Sure, my roommate in 2004 was pushing me to say something really mean to her that hurt her feelings. I succeeded and she was floored. I told her it wasn’t over at all. She tried to call it even but by then I had tasted the oozing, rich, sentimental and dastardly taste of blood. I had succeeded at the impossible, hurting somebody else’s feelings. I had no idea that could feel vampirically good. Ridiculous. She was asking for it and she got it. When you use your anger to stand up for yourself righteously, then you have done something wonderful for yourself. If you leave a conflict feeling good, it means you did right by the way you resolved it or injured a party trying to injure you.

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