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Why Alcohol is My Own Personal Kryptonite

January 23, 2019

Alcohol gets me drunk rather quickly. A type 1 diabetic shouldn’t touch alcohol at all let alone sugar as alcohol is really fermented sugar. I have a sugar limit on myFitnessPal. I am warned if I exceed that sugar limit, so I make another choice based on that sugar limit. I do the occasional candy, or apple pie, or apple strudel. I’m just a junkie. I have, however, stuck with the no-sugar routine I’m in right now because I want to get my blood sugar average to 135, to maintain a non-diabetic average.

I’m working really hard here, so I cut out sugar. I freak out walking past alcohol aisles at the store. I get panic attacks at Bev and Mo. I’m always paranoid about relapsing. I’m not actually drinking right now but I’m pretty much done drinking as far as the rest of my life is concerned. You see, alchy kind of runs in my family. I can see it in several branches, but not in my Chilean cousins’ genome. It is pretty virulent with my Spanish family. I could say who, but I’m going to keep that one to myself. Alcohol makes me nauseated to smell.

To drink it again would make me sick. I once accidentally had bourbon chicken at the mall, I walked back feeling odd, tired, and like I needed to sleep a lot. I had two hot chocolates this morning to keep up with my Textbroker writing. I managed to get to the goal I had set. It was difficult but not impossible. I got to $150. Thank God. But yes, alcohol would set back all the progress I have made. Beer is a carbohydrate. I used to be able to down two Guinness with food back when I lived in San Francisco in 2006. I have since given up on drinking altogether because Abilify doesn’t mix well with booze or so I found out the hard way.

We mentally ill folks self-medicate with booze because we feel ill and have no idea how else to deal with it. Until you get on proper medication that is, like I did in 2012. I managed to get myself on great meds. So in which case, my alcoholism has been stable for 9 years, of sobriety. No drinking.

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