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Taking Responsibility for Your Actions

June 9, 2019

This will eventually be an Udemy course. In high school, I was not allowed to take medication. Fortunately my behavior wasn’t super extreme in school, but I tried to get Zod to get me meds. She would claim it wasn’t necessary at the time. Many sleepless nights as a caffeine addict would say otherwise. It took me until this year to kick hot chocolate. Yesterday I had an entire Twix bar. I got up early today, like at 5:00 a.m. because I was sleepless. Yes, I cracked and had a Twix, who knows why? I got extra batteries at Rite Aid, yesterday. I also found a killer deal on Ramen, or $2.94 for a package of 6.

Ramen is the cheapest meal you can find. Salty, but good-anyway though, I should have pushed harder for medication, but I was continually told I didn’t need it. Back then I was way too embroiled with stress to see that was sabotage. I was incredibly stressed all the time, imagining I was going to die from panic attacks or heart attacks. I was prone to extreme fear. This is not true in my treated present because I feel so much better now on the medication because remembering all that pain is why I stay medication consistent in the present. I prayed long and hard to get stable, from the medication I’m on now: if my cousin is stigmatizing me as a joke by saying “Oye Loca.”

That will get turned into a t-shirt, the “Oye loco” t-shirt. Sometimes I have a sweater or a cardigan to cover myself with provided I feel too shy to engage in someone laughing at my t-shirt. The t-shirt business could take off this next year if I find the courage to buy shirts. I’m busy sitting on my extra money that I was owed. I am trying to spend within a certain income bracket though so I can save it for next month. What is going on currently with my health is that I have a hernia. It may require surgery because the symptoms are messing with my life. I have a sprained thigh, both left and right. I have a sprained right arm I need physical therapy for and tendonitis in both elbows. Fat chance my family would learn to take responsibility for bickering. See, Zod loves to bicker. I have no idea why. She might be addicted to it. But anyway, yes, I enjoy my drama free life these days.

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