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The Things I Didn’t Know in My 20s

August 26, 2019

When I was in college, I didn’t know I had schizophrenia. My family made sure I didn’t have a diagnosis. I couldn’t get one because I wasn’t “allowed” to see a psychiatrist, not that they read this here blog. They don’t because they do not have an interest in my personality, only in manipulating me into feeling bad about disabilities I do not have. They only take interest if I’m their punching bag. Sad, but true. I refuse to be anybody’s punching bag anymore, which is why I dumped the Ex. I deserve better.

I wasn’t supposed to develop pluck, the ability stand up for myself, or gasp! The deadly “self-esteem”. In 2012, I managed to secure treatment thanks to a normal psychiatrist and not a schizophrenia-unbelieving sort of the kind I was allowed to see. In 2016, I started not to call an Ex friend of mine as much since there was less to rant about. Hell, I had nothing to rant about. What drew us together was not so much of a draw. I was like; still finding her deliberate not-genuine neediness was driving me crazy. I’m good at dumping toxic people. I need to screen people for toxins before I get into any sort of relationship with them. Now I find out that somebody I used to know is talking a lot of SH$# about somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Glad I dumped that toxic person. I’m much happier without my unstable rapid cycler parents around to trigger the Ex, my ex or me friend. I stay the hell away from assholes.

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