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How My First Dabblings in Witchcraft Could Have Been Dangerous

September 2, 2019

Back when I was twelve, I was an untreated schizoaffective minor whose interesting bully introduced her to the concept of psychic talent magick at diabetes camp. She was worse than Q introducing the Enterprise to the Borg. I didn’t know at the time, how dangerous magick is for mentally ill people. How it can turn you manic quickly, which is why I am wary of going to my coven’s meetings until my knee gets all the way better, and I’m functioning like a normal person within my normal schedule. As a minor, I was obligated to go to church, get confirmed, and practice my parent’s religion while in their house.

I wouldn’t necessarily go away to college until I was 24, and I didn’t graduate until I was 27. Witchcraft is really a very simple practice. Magick is about harnessing your power while using it for yourself or the greater good. A constantly mentally ill minor with severe anxiety issues should not have been exposed to magick. That was a bomb I didn’t need dropped in my life. As I have learned in my twenty years of experience with leaving the Catholic Church since I turned twenty, magick is like power tools, useful for making things, dangerous to use. Candles are especially dangerous to work with so I don’t use them in my condo, at all. I’m really careful with what forms of magick I use.

Fake candles work just as well because there are many ways of representing fire. You can use lights; you do not have to use an open flame. There are many ways not to use fire for the fire element. Candles are not actually necessary. But hey, leave it to fast forwarding from age 12 to 30, I had to get my mental health treated because of my scheming family not letting me go see a psychiatrist, a proper schizophrenia-believer that is because I was allowed to see unbelievers.

Eventually I said, frak you mom and dad, and got myself good medication. In 2009, I was monumentally unstable doing caffeine after 8 p.m., also going to bed like at 2:00 a.m., waking up at 12 p.m. I was a night shift sort. These days I’m capable of getting up early but not back then. Its nice to have proper treatment since I didn’t get Lamictal until 2017 when I had decided that to put up with work 2 future, I needed one more medication. These days, I have learned I can tolerate small classroom sizes. But I need to do more than that if I’m eventually setting foot inside a real college classroom with no danger of going back to alcoholism and caffeine use.

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