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Volunteer Opportunities and the Energy I Lack

October 23, 2019

Because of my knee injury I stick to known locations, and I do not go very far. I go as far as San Jose State, I go to the library, I go to the supermarkets around me but I’m avoiding crowds even if I can stay grounded in one now due to much practice walking around San Jose State by myself. I have managed to learn how to put some delusions on ignore. In particular the one I have in which I imagine people slurring me because of my 22q. This one is old, and comes from college. It also comes from my dad slurring me at the doctor’s when I was diagnosed.

I want to volunteer to teach people how to read, but I don’t have the energy. I want to help the homeless but I don’t have the energy. You guys see a theme here? Mr. Hernia is not supposed to take over my life necessarily but I realize I cannot get out of surgery for this one. I have read that a trolley cart is okay to use but not to lift too many heavy things. This screws me over for any heavy working out which I got away with in 2012-2016 where I’d go to yoga often.

I mean I turned into quite the yogi were it not for my silly knee injury. This knee injury was preceded by a knee injury that I got in college I had totally forgotten about because I spent my last semester with a dislocated kneecap. Now that’s better, since my knee is actually bending more now. It was stiff for like a year, from my age of 35-36. I’m now 38. I’m still wandering around with this injury. It forces me to work from home, and take good care of myself while managing my time.

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