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Why People With Healthy Self-Esteem Dump Toxic People

December 7, 2019

People who know what they are doing when it comes to what kinds of friends they prefer, justify themselves in dumping toxic people. They know not to put up with toxic people. It is easier to be around those who keep their distance, those who genuinely respect you, instead of those who call you too much, as if that phone call doesn’t mean they don’t have other friends to talk to. Eventually, I had to block this person on Facebook, email, and the phone. She was calling me way too much in an aggressive, needy, even dare I say it, in a codependent way.

I felt our friendship wasn’t going anywhere, because it got to be one-sided. Codependency involves letting people maintain their irresponsibility. In this case, my ex-friend had skipped her meds, let her family contaminate her medication, let herself get unstable from bad meds, and let them mess with her instead of telling them off or getting outside intervention. She was relying on me way too much to rescue her. She was also underachieving since she didn’t want to enroll in career schools to learn new skills. She is someone who has trouble standing up for herself. I got so stressed out as an empath that I had to dump her for my mental health.

But anyway, I myself have some codependency going on because I let her push me around at first. I have major self-esteem issues I still need to deal with in therapy. I used to be a terrible people pleaser although I’m working on learning how to say “no,” even if some try to intimidate me for saying no. If I cannot go out, going into a large, noisy room is hard for me. As in, going to a restaurant like Chevy’s. We have one out here, but I rarely ever go because of my thing with crowds. My boundaries do suck because I’m ms. I can’t let anybody close to me after having to dump the Ex-boyfriend who was also irresponsible by not renewing pharmaceuticals in time for one weekend we were hanging out.

I have worked on reacting and caretaking. I do not care take anybody except myself right now. With my friends, I tried to turn into bossy to get them to be responsible. She even would never tell me if something pissed her off. I’m slowly starting to think about myself more than other people, since I’m number one while everybody else can just shove it. I have to put myself first. I have stopped denying my own feelings or needs. I will go to therapy again next semester, and this is because San Jose State is easy to get to. I refuse all big pimples this winter although it is the season. I ask my community to remember they cause me a lot of pain. In the end, I have learned living by myself the last three years, to say no about excessive demands.

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