So in the wake of a Work 2 Future class cancelation, I feel much better stress-wise. I have a windfall of income that came on quite suddenly, without warning. I was owed money it would seem. This means that next month they may or may not cut me depending on how much money I spend or make. I’m working on my business plan for the psychic website I want to start. But hey, I have ideas to work on, ideas being the long list of websites I’m evaluating as my competition. I’m writing blurbs on what each website is supposed to be about.
So in the wake of a Work 2 Future class cancelation, I feel much better stress-wise. I have a windfall of income that came on quite suddenly, without warning. I was owed money it would seem. This means that next month they may or may not cut me depending on how much money I spend or make. I’m working on my business plan for the psychic website I want to start. But hey, I have ideas to work on, ideas being the long list of websites I’m evaluating as my competition. I’m writing blurbs on what each website is supposed to be about.
Each website has something unique about them. My website’s major stand-out advantage is that I’m going to make sure that it is word-of-mouth and only for my friends I know personally, that are vetted. It would be a “I know this person in the real world,” kind of environment as it could also be a social network for psychics in addition to being a website where you can get readings or arrange an appointment with a healer. This website would be something I would sell provided I get a cushy sales job with the person who buys it.
I’m going to get readings off of the website on my list. I need to make sure I have answers to a bunch of burning questions. So a psychic person would be able to answer stuff that a psychologist cannot although my former therapist was transpersonal, pagan, and psychic all at once. She is still an awesome therapist. I miss her, and am tempted to set up a Skype session. I miss her. But anyway, yes, I have a lot to get done today, give or take how much copy is available, because I have to write a story anyway, that is an exercise mentioned in one Cyndi Dale book. The exercise is called “Uncovering Your Storyline,” referring to writing your trauma into a metaphorical allegory. This is my specialty because of my Bachelors in creative writing.
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I take classes at an organization out here in San Jose called Work 2 Future. The organization is all about training people for jobs or small business ownership. I wanted to enroll in a two week class for how to start a business but I might not have the stamina. I have a hernia. This is why I need an endoscopy at the end of this month. I mean it isn’t at high risk for anything bad. Or so my doctor says but my brain would tell you a different story given the premonitions I get. So we can all place bets. I can feel my hernia in my upper intestine.
Fun that, because I only feel it when sitting still or lying down, and class will be a welcome distraction from this bullshit. I’m working towards establishing multiple sources of income. I have an unexpected windfall going on right now. I did the May books/budget. I now have extra spending money. But I have to be careful and set limits with myself give or take. I also have to spend a certain amount. I’m debating what to do with the money, like pay my entire Sprint bill. I have to sit on it; I have to be careful with it. I can’t just spend it in one shot.
Oh and btw, class on 6/4/19 was cancelled. We didn’t have enough people enrolled in Powerpoint Advanced. So yeah, I get the week to myself. I need the rest time anyway.
What is the Sugar Nazi?
When you have type-1 diabetes and discipline yourself to not do sugar although to the best of your intentions, sometimes you fail. Yesterday, I cracked up. I had to eat a whole small container of Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies, which are my favorite go-to snack when I need caffeine. Also last night I realized that my Nutella Breadsticks snack had been a go-to caffeine boost since I was not asleep until 10:00 p.m. last night or later. I’d had the chocolate at like 10:00 a.m. in the morning. The no-chocolate life style suits me.
The Medication Nazi
I’m strict with my meds. No missed doses. It is how I’m functional at all. I remember what life was like without medication. It was torment. I felt like I was being tortured when my family failed to come through with giving me medication. Life sucks without meds to the point where I’d say hell on earth is having an untreated mental illness. After I met other people through NAMI, I can honestly say that I feel like I’m able to say this since I know people who can relate to that.
And the Diabetes Nazi
The Diabetes Nazi is a type of Nazi who can keep your glucose perfect. This is the sort of Nazi that knows how to force you to check your blood sugar. A diabetes Nazi is going to keep a tight lid on blood sugars, as well as be the driving force within you that keeps you away from sugar. I use stevia in any sugar-free driven cooking situation I need to use sugar. Stevia brown sugar is similar to brown sugar, and I’m planning on getting both brown sugar, as well as stevia to practice my cooking with. I am training myself as a cook at home.
This blog is about the truth. My life could have been cut terribly short at 10 from type-1 diabetes, an otherwise easily treatable illness. You see, I like machines, so I’m a keep me alive by whatever means possible. Yes, my near death from diabetes is what prompted my family to become as over protective as they are. And believe you me, they are overprotective, which is why I tell people on Facebook to keep their bloody mouth shut. See, Lord Zod, is triggered by “omfg something happened to my daughter,” and can’t get the shit out of her head. You see, untreated mentally ill people freak out.
They have no medication to still their anxiety or any other mental health symptom. Cousin saying “Oye Loca” to give me shit for being stable, not cool. Stigma is not cool, dumbass. I will say this many times on the Internets. I do not feel sorry for you because you have a back injury that may never get well. So don’t give me shit about stuff I can’t help.
I was almost felled by something as treatable as type-1 diabetes. My doctor is not at fault for what happened to me. No. The man was trying to tell people until he was blue in the face. Walking out of that appointment, without knowing what was wrong with me, was terrifying. Having pediatric-onset schizoaffective and not knowing what was wrong with me, was also terrifying for 30 straight years of not understand myself as schizophrenic and not knowing what it is. The psychic crap never goes away though, so in which case, I need medication to treat my schizoaffective, because I have to be able to focus on keeping my psychokinesis shut off. It is exhausting to try not to activate major life or death fear, which is my trigger along with high blood sugar.
Okay, I printed this t-shirt for family. Why? Because you see, Satan, has a huge denial complex. Deny this, deny that. At least I can admit I have a problem and what does that get me? But to be given shit by someone who can’t admit they have a problem. You see-everybody’s favorite charmer, Satan cannot stand the way I’m stable. You cannot fight narcissism with the truth sometimes since people are fooled by her charm spells on them.
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I know I’m alcoholic, and I was taken advantage of when I was 18. My family let me start drinking, as though that act made me a mature adult. I was allowed to drink in the United States, and in Spain. In California you can drink at 18 with permission. Drinking is seen as a grown-up act by most people. But it really is irresponsible. The thing is, alcohol can cause brain damage. It doesn’t help you sleep, medication does. Therapy is a must for anybody with mental health problems but some people won’t even do that. Therapy is a lot of work that some people do not have the fortitude to do.
Not being able to quit an addiction is not courageous, but turning away from addiction is. Many people do not have the strength. I do not believe in that ridiculous religious idea that you chose your life challenges before birth and then had your memory erased. That’s like saying you choose your disability. Anybody who talks to me like this had better quit doing so. Denial is no state to be in all the time and neither is not taking medication at all because OCD can be painful and crazy-making enough to the point where it can land somebody in the psych ward. Medication can also help you remember all the mean things you did while off meds.
Yes, it works for Clark Kent, but I’ve tried making excuses as to how I know something. “Lucky Guess” only works for so long. I have a neat trick of sizing up how much weight people have lost. I can make people squirm this way. Sometimes, many find weight loss too difficult to achieve. They then indefinitely put it off. Procrastination is also my problem, but that is because I feel useless and that my business plans have no value. Then again that is the Ex talking. So I have to put this on ignore because selling my business plans can make me a lot of money.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch is good at coming up with excuses as to why something happened that people wind up buying, even the Witch Hunter who had the witch hunter gene. I just can’t make excuses, perpetuating the geek act, I feel like a jock and a geek at the same time. I just get exhausted having to lie about stuff. Oh that fork is not bent, I have witnessed insulin needles bend. I have also witnessed infusion set needles bending. I have injected myself with bent infusion needles with the needle still working.
A mix of high blood sugar, more specifically while ranting about my untreated family, and life or death fear triggers my PK. Yes, ranting on a high blood sugar is a huge trigger. Seeing bent metal just scares me more because I think, why can I do this? What is the point of having this talent? I suppose Uri Gellar is like me but I’m not a stage magician trying to fool people.
It scares me and I can’t calm down sometimes. This borders on mania. I have to sleep the whole night or walk up in a calm state to change my infusion set. I really need to get myself into Bridges To Recovery Mental Health Rehabilitation, in the heart of Los Angeles. Yes it is one way to face all my fears, crowds, and rooms full of people. School was hard for me in San Francisco because I had shielding problems. I still have shielding problems. But my medication helps me shield which is why idiots who think I don’t need it can shut up. I know whom I can trust. Then again, I have had my trust violated. So I am wary of anybody who wants to be my friend right now. I’m way too jaded and hurt.
We need to make Congress be on the health care plan the rest of us have to deal with. Income determines your social standing because of the way money is perceived. I’m not elitist. Income brackets run our whole society in the United States. Congress needs to emphasize with why we want the minimum wage raised. They have endless income in the form of six digits. This is more money than their voters actually have in a two-income, husband-wife household. Congress needs to know what we average folk go through. They think they are the elite and laugh at our stupidity.
Really though, they are pawns, and the President is a huge public face of the government that is really run by those in the shadows. Congress should be forced to live on lower-income than they have. The idiocy is shown by the way that Congress just has great medical care. These rich people know of no other lifestyle. The poor things need a taste of their own medicine. What hell do they put the rest of us through? We need fresh blood in Congress, all over the country, not just California. I want to serve the California State Congress someday.
There are many lies told about my IQ, so let me set the record straight. I was never born with a low IQ or “slow,” this is something that has been made up about me. I was not developmentally disabled growing up, for all my St. Joseph friends to read about. That was all a made-up delusion that some teachers were forced to believe. Psychic manipulation is a real talent, which does exist. An empath is a type of psychic who is capable of this. These days, calling yourself an empath is socially acceptable and saying you are psychic really depends on the type of ESP you have.
So yes, please debase yourself of all lies you have heard about me. I’m normal because of my medication, I got treatment for myself. I’m free of the yoke of mental illness. Don’t be afraid of me. Some people are afraid to visit me. Well, that should change, because you are actually fearful of the truth, and ashamed of believing the lie. Quit being ashamed, quit being paranoid, visit me. It gets lonely but I have no shortage of writing to get done even with my oncoming tendonitis in my elbows and arthritis symptoms at my tender age of 38, although I have no looks that age looks.
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Day of the Dead does not have to be celebrated on October 31st because the last thing a psychic medium such as myself needs to do is hang out in a graveyard. November 1st is a much better day for that. I want my ancestor altar to be done on a piece of cardboard rather like the vision board I’m supposed to get done too. I have pictures for my ancestor altar, thanks to my uncle Fernando. I’m working on my business plan today, because there is a shortage of work on Textbroker.com unless that changes when 9:00 a.m. opening rolls around.
Day of the Dead is a Mexican holiday in which the ancestors are celebrated from October 31st to November 2nd. However, I get paranoid in October because the veil is thinner between the worlds. Day of the Dead traditions include praying for the deceased. I have decided to engage in cross-cultural celebrations. I’m half-Spanish and half-Chilean, not Mexican to be clear but I want to have a Day of the Dead celebration. This involves going to the cemetery where Grandma and Uncle Alfredo are buried. I want to trance channel Alfredo’s dirty jokes if it is even possible to do that. I’d invite friends.
I’d have to get shareable food that can be eaten with the hands. I would make sure this event takes place on a Saturday. I’m not sure how I feel about filming it as my friend David Arv Bragi suggested I do on Facebook. My acne is popping up. And I feel like it won’t go away. I mean that makes me hide out from people who take pictures. I have two lumps on my chin that eventually go away but I’m worried because I use every acne treatment I have and nothing helps. I mean maybe its an emotionally-linked thing that I need to work on in therapy if I could afford therapy.
iriavp 