A huge pagan value, personal responsibility means that you take complete control over all your crap, the good, the bad, and the ugly. You are responsibility for the quality of your life, thoughts, feelings, trials. You alone bear the burden. You do not casually blame somebody else. Or a God or whatever else. You are the one responsible. It is all on you. If you fuck up, there is no gentle way of saying this, but you fuck up. Epic fail. We are done with those who fuck up. We pagans keep ourselves honest. Any fuck up like revealing confidential information is a fuck up. You are deposed for life. Keeps us honest. This is a very good system. All in due time.
What kind of ass-backwards 21st century earth human are you puppy Mo Brooks? You want disabled people to spend money indefinitely. Do you have any idea how expensive disease is? It is terribly expensive. Puppy, you need not put disabled people through more disability shame than you already do. What we all need is cures and care. I have no right to complain about stability being a bitch for me. I use an insulin pump. I’m close to perfect diabetes. I’m a genius manager of diabetes. I use my actual in truth high IQ to make great choices. I love my medication courtesy of SSI that helps me maintain great judgment about infusion set site areas. Killing disabled people with lack of health care makes you no better than Hitler. In fact, I have dystopias floating around in my head about you people rounding disabled people up. This is why I want to start a health care rights movement. You bet. We are going to fight you every inch. I know you hate Obama for flat out being black, which is weird considering he can’t help his skin tone. I find the mysteries of white privilege a bit odd. You need to learn what it is like to be a minority by putting yourself in a room full of black people. Or people of another religion than yourself. My dear, illness causes stress. It multiplies. We are not all billionaires. I mean I want to be a 1% so I can be obnoxious about paying for my MD/PHD and giving my money away. Oh yes. I’m going to set an example. Everybody will probably hate me for it. But well, I’m just a good person in general. Puppy, look out for what you say about sick people. We are not drains on the system. We do not deserve our illness as karmic punishment from Deity. Oh yes, we are functional because of treatment. I for one, have plans to be at least 120. Diabetes doesn’t shorten your life span. It prolongs it. Who ever told you that? Wow the ignorance.
Odd Psi Talents Quiz Part 2
- I’m a skeptic.
TRUE FALSE
- What are my main abilities and what are they called. Define.
I really hate talking about it but here it is. I’m a teleempath, a telepathic empathy. I have experienced telekinesis, and psychokinesis on an almost daily basis. I am clairsentient, audient, smell, taste, and claircognizant. The claircognizant and all of the above drive me to the perpetual crazy as I have had some mentoring/training but not nearly enough to get certified as a mentor to others since we schizophrenics are discriminated against in spiritualist circles.
Telepathy- is defined as the mind to mind communication of thoughts, feelings and words.
Empathy – Picking up other’s emotions, thoughts and bodily sensations. An example would be the following, somebody needs to pee and I feel like I need to pee until they actually bother to pee releasing my feeling like I need to pee.
Psychokinesis – the bending of metals, wood, and plastics, (my water bottles all get quickly bent out of shape beyond recognition)
Telekinesis – the moving of objects with your mind.
Clairsentient – Clear feeling of emotions such as when somebody is suicidal and I can see it in my head what they want to get done.
Clairaudient- Clear hearing, hearing spirit voices, and other stuff like outright hearing what people are thinking in my presence when they think very loudly.
Clairolfaction – Picking up on psychic smells including pheromones and hormonal changes such as pregnancy. I once smelled roses in my bedroom for no good reason and there were no flowers in my room. I can smell diseases sometimes but I am not able to isolate specific ones yet. That ahs to wait until my M.D./Ph.D. I can smell wafting pheremones in the air. This is why night clubs are horrid environments for me. I don’t set foot in bars either. That would be out of character for me. I can’t stand the pheremones drunk and horny put out.
Claircognizant – Clear knowing is all about suddenly knowing things for no good reason such as Jeopardy answers in which I can clean out whole categories.
Trance mediumship – the ability to channel deities or spirits through your body causing them to use your voice to speak.
Mediumship – the ability to sense the departed around you, yes kind of like Ghost Whisperer, although not every spirit is earthbound and I kind of can tell who is and who isn’t. Earthbound spirits make the room cold. If they appear, they can psychokinetically alter the temperature in a room despite the heat being on. Example: My grandmother on my mother’s side has been dead since 1989 but she can do this stuff. In particular, she likes appearing to me in my Work 2 Future classes and the room does get physically colder because of my own psychokinesis. I also have a talent for getting infected with other people’s mental health symptoms. The best solution to this is to get far away from them depending on how large their energy field is.
- When did I start manifesting psychokinesis?
In 2009 my mom got sued by a client. She took out that whole year on me and I had SSI but not yet used the actual insurance. I was very unstable that year. I mean I had my insulin go bad once in the car in October San Jose heat. I had to wait on fresh so I had to use the bad, crystallized insulin. 2009 was a learning curve. I had to figure out what made me manic and what made my blood sugar bad. I was up until 2 a.m nightly and drank hot chocolate at 8 p.m. I was applying for night shift work. My mother was deliberately making my life difficult. I was still drinking caffeine and alcohol. I was manifesting psychokinesis a lot due to being constantly high strung. I had a lot of emotion running through me. I was very unstable. Telekinesis also manifested. I managed to push a medication container across a table in front of a friend. It seems the tk and pk work in front of people more than they work when I’m by myself.
- Who is my most credible telekinesis witness?
My first psychiatrist from 2012, Dr. Yin Zhang from Valley Health. I moved a black tourmaline piece an inch on the table. I have never had a movement this pronounced again.
- Why do I need my medication? How does it keep all my talents in control?
If angry, I could hurt somebody with psychic attack, which relies on thought alone. If manic, my mania can be shoved into the energy field of others. This is wrong. It is my sacred duty to take my medication so I don’t hurt other people. It could get quite ugly. So I take my meds to not be mean to people.
- Why is schizophrenia confusing yet it makes sense as an answer to why my brain works the way it does?
Without medication, a schizophrenic is constantly delusional. That can be confusing because you don’t know the difference between mania, a delusion, or a hallucination. There is such thing as “real” psychic impressions. Give or take. But medication helps you sort fact from fiction really well.
- Why does a schizophrenic psychic need to be medication consistent at all times?
Because mania causes irrational behavior and it could hurt somebody. You do not want to be in trouble with the law. Mania hurts people around you anyway. It is annoying. Staying in control of it is best. Mania is not wise to feel all the time anyway because it can cause brain damage. You do not need this. Skipping medication can lead to psi talents spinning out of control very much like in the Marion Zimmer Bradley Darkover books. Without meds, I have trouble touching people. Shaking hands is pretty terrifying for me. I avoid it when I can. You need to be able to keep your brain functional despite delusions. For any psychic who is on the schizophrenia-bipolar spectrum, you need medication because you have to not cause pain to other people.
- Why is the idea that I can (psychic attack) hurt others with my thoughts terrifying to me?
A psychic attack can damage chakras, cause a person illness, or in general cause a lack of well-being. Sometimes, psychic attack is an accident. But not always. Psychic attack is something that can hurt somebody else. Mania causes rage issues. It makes a person very angry. Its why I have to take my meds to keep this tendency of mine under control since I put up with some severe abuse as a child, well into my teens.
- What is my pagan resume?
21 years experience intrinsic magick. Former member of Waxing Moon Circle and Redwood Spiritualist Church. Member of Laughing Blue Jays Coven in Palo Alto. Member of South Bay Circles. 1 year Valerie Walker’s Feri Cora and Victor Anderson based Feri tradition group in San Francisco.
- Why does the psi faculty of telepathy drive me crazy in large lecture halls, crowds, and restaurants which sometimes I avoid because I get wound up in rooms full of people and why does my medication help me put up with it better?
I pick up on everything although I have better psychic boundaries because of my medication. I hear thought, feelings, answers, the whole 9-yards. I know many things about the people around me I have to keep my mouth shut about.
- How does claircognizance affect my ordinary life and why do I call it insight?
It is random insight that flits its way into my brain. I will be thinking about something. An insight will pop into my head. I turn out to be right more often than not. Most of the time, I have no idea how it got there. It is a flash. This is how it works when I’m busy diagnosing people, which I can’t do as somebody without a degree who doesn’t know anything. I have a very unquiet mind. I’m also logical. Yes, I’m the answers person. I also enjoy reading books. How I learn is mostly through reading a book.
https://www.amandalinettemeder.com/blog/2015/1/4/9-signs-you-are-claircognizant
- What objects can I bend with psychokinesis? What emotional state brings on a psychokinetic fit?
Wood, glass, metal, and plastic. Plastic water bottles somehow get squished or deformed very quickly. My Pk manifested a lot in 2009. For some reason, it only happens when I get agitated. If I’m in rant mode, or at the very least, feeling anxious, it tends to manifest. If I’m manic, it also manifests.
- What is an empath? Why does this talent drive me crazy?
An empath is a type of psychic. A person who knows where you are coming from, using Dr. Judith Orloff’s definition of what an empath is. Empaths are naturally good listeners as well as giving people. However, empaths can be easy marks for psychic vampires who want to impress their fear and rage issues upon them. In relationships, they have trouble figuring out their co-habitation needs so I have basically decided because of that, I need to stay single for awhile. Empaths have no need to take on the world’s problems. For myself, I cannot over do. If somebody asks too much of me, I tell them no although I’m not always polite about it because they are rude if they are asking me to over do too much or overstimulate myself on their behalf. I mean, case in point, I had to tell mom’s friend no once. They had plans to take all of us out and I felt I would have to take my medication early if I went. I just didn’t have the stamina to deal with a large crowd that night. So I stayed put. I need a lot of privacy to feel sane sometimes. Empathy drives me crazy because if somebody needs to pee, I eventually feel a need to pee. I have trouble wondering whose bodily function is that, mine or theirs. If somebody is hypoglycemic around me, I also feel the low. This is why if not in control, by the time I get there, that medical school will be hard for me.
http://www.drjudithorloff.com/_blog/Dr_Judith_Orloff’s_Blog/post/How_to_Know_if_You’re_an_Empath
- Everybody can do what I can do. I am not special because I’m talented.
TRUE FALSE
- What is a psychic medium, a mental medium, and trance medium and why do I have all of the above and why do I have to be crazy careful as a trance medium almost to the point of not using it ever?
A medium is somebody who talks to spirits in the afterlife. Spirits are simply in another frequency. They may have no physical body but they are all on a certain frequency which I can hear or see in my head. Mediums are psychics but not all psychics are mediums. To make matters utterly confusing, I’m both. Psychics can sense the energies of past, present, and future. Whereas, a medium is able to sense spirit energy around a person. Rebecca Rosen through Oprah.com is a mental medium who uses telepathy and I happen to be like that. Mediums can sense past and present issues but Rosen feels that predicting the future is messy business. Free will means we can make choices. I look down on people who abuse their free will by making bad decisions however.
Trance mediumship is part of mediumship skills in general. Trance mediums get overshadowed by a Deity or a spirit. I have experienced this in a Feri group I was a member of for a year. A trance state features the following symptoms, slow heart beat, deep and steady breathing, no rapid eye movement or REM, lowered body temperature, reduced reaction to touch and pain, and finally, varying degrees of unconsciousness. The voice changes along with patterns of inflection. Mediums essentially under go a telepathic rapport with the spirit.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/what-is-a-medium-rebecca-rosen
- What is physical mediumship and why can I do that too? Also, why does that drive me crazy?
Physical mediumship is about the physical manifestation of a spirit. Spirits also produce ectoplasm. They occasionally help manifest telekinesis. While at a friend of mine’s house, I was able to telekinetically push my medication case on the kitchen table. Physical mediums have an abundance of etheric energy in their bodies. Etheric energy acts as a battery or storehouse for prana which comes from the sun (as in, how I get my energy), or kundalini (which is kind of bad for schizophrenics provided they don’t know how to channel it properly). This sort of energy vitalizes the physical body according to the link below. Most physical mediumship takes place in the dark. I happen to be somewhat paranoid about dark rooms. Ectoplasm is etheric energy coming from the medium’s body. Ectoplasm can come from the nose, mouth, or solar plexus. At this time I’m only 36 and I have no idea yet what I’m capable of, only that I have studied something about mediumship to an extent and I know, I as usual, need to be properly trained. Mediumship drives me bonkers since spirits don’t sleep. I can see them and the way they appear in my head. My grandmother on my mom’s side is earthbound. She likes making the room cold when she is upset about something.
http://www.fst.org/physmed.htm
http://www.fst.org/physmed2.htm
- Why do I fear crowds? Why am I paranoid in crowds? Why does this drive me crazy?
I’ve been on Earth 2 billion years. I’m an ancient who has reincarnated many times. I fear crowds because I have died many a violent death because of a crowd. I have been burnt at the stake for being independent quite a few times. This makes me bonkers because I get paranoid in large crowds as if it will happen again. I avoided Christmas in the park this year since I only do crowds with somebody else, preferably a gifted who has insight on what they are. It is best I do not do a large crowd by myself although I am learning to handle it. I go into crowds when I’m having a good day. Shopping in my neighborhood is more tolerable now. A friend suggests I go to San Jose State campus one day to try my skill in shielding. As in, I sit there and learn to shield properly in crowds. I say this idea requires I get some food to eat beforehand so that I’m grounded.
- Why do I eat meat? Why do I need meat? What happens if I’m vegetarian too long?
I eat meat because it grounds me. My body gets really anemic if I don’t eat meat. I get severely anemic without meat. Although my cholesterol goes down, I still manage to get some messed up anemia. Eggs help me with paranoid feelings. Meat in general helps my metabolism. I can hang out with vegetarians who are not too crazy about eating with somebody eating meat. I really do need meat. If I’m in a crowd, I definitely need my meat fix. If going to any workshop where much energy is raised, meat necessary. I’m a type 0 positive anyhow. Not eating meat can mess me up real good. When I was on Abilify, I’d throw meat at it but that medication wound up making me severely anemic. Anemia is not fun. It makes you physically weak. I can only use my super-strength if I eat meat anyhow because my body simply requires meat.
- What is my super strength? How does it function? How do I use it? How did I find out about it?
In high school I was very athletic without physical therapy, which I needed but didn’t get. It is why in my adult life, I’m prone to knee injuries although I do not need knee replacement yet. In high school with no medication, I was using my super strength to plow through life and deal with all my bad thoughts without medication. My super strength is caused by adrenalin. In some cultures, they call it Chi. Qigong is what taught me about what it actually was. I used it to take the bus, put up with class, and get home. It is how I never quit school despite being unstable. I also use it to carry big backpacks. I’m terrified of law school and the size of their books. I mean, I’m hoping they digitize the books so all I have to worry about is carrying my reader. Law books are huge. I learned in Qigong class how to push men twice my size using Chi energy. It is three deep breaths and pushing them physically on the third breath. This is indeed, a power that can be performed on wrestlers bigger than me and that’s where I plan to take it.
- What is persuasion? Where did I get it? How do I use it? I consider this talent nifty and it does work for getting good grades and in general getting what you want. So long as I am stable while using it, the talent does not make me a danger to self and others.
http://realpsychicpower.com/gain-the-power-of-influence
Nobody wants to be around a manic persuasive person. That’s my family for ya. This is where I inherited their persuasion. It is also called brainwashing. I, unlike some people, use persuasion to benefit others. As in, keep people on their meds for one since other morons who want to get people off meds used persuasion to do so. I’m still livid about that. Some people who are psychic, are simply terrified of medication. I’m happy using meds as a buffer, an off-switch, a shut down button. Thank the Gods. Influence gets people to do things for you. Bribing also works but mostly you want to influence people.
- What are they? How do they work? Why do I keep my mouth shut when I have them? Most importantly, why do they drive me crazy?
When I get a premonition, I tend to ignore it. I mean it has a 50-50 chance of coming true anyhow. When I feel a sense of urgency to be somewhere, it’s because I’m going to run into somebody I know. As in, case in point, I was busy needing to go see my psychiatrist. I got there my usual brand of early. I wound up running into my mom’s maid. We had a good long talk about schizophrenia’s genetic background, all in Spanish that is. I also managed to get personality disorders across to her. My premonition was that I needed to be at my shrinks’ early. Somehow. Then I got there and the first person I see is my friend. Premonitions also work for illness, domestic violence, and suicidal ideation fits that somebody ELSE is having in the moment. I can see their plans in my head, which leads me to the next question.
- Why does knowing when people are suicidal annoy the shit out of me? I can see it clairvoyantly and this also happens in domestic violence cases. I also get feelings about when somebody will die in general. This ability makes me ultra paranoid.
I can feel the suicidal thoughts. I can also tell when somebody is going to skip their medication. It is a bizarre thought in their head they can’t shut up. I mean it permeates their thoughts. I do not want to be specific about death premonitions and how they work. Only that in high school I got one shaking somebody’s hand. He later died of a heart attack while jogging. I saw black around his aura. Eventually he had volunteered to tune my piano but well, he died before he could tune it. That piano was never tuned after that. My parents did sell it to people who were going to use it. I have friends who have pianos I can use. You know who you are. Growing up I could predict and anticipate domestic violence within a relative field of accuracy as well. I once saw somebody step in front of a moving car. We were at least 50 miles away from each other. I called her up to bitch at her. I described the color car. This was well after my spiritualist church days. I somewhat had a better idea of what was going on?
- How does my ability to trance channel influence my writing?
This is something my creative writing 512 teacher could not explain. I can channel my writing. It comes in from the top of my head and into my fingers at the keyboard. I filter it through my brain. I can transmit full books this way. I mean I get the fully formed work in my head before I translate it to the computer’s Word file. Trance channeling is useful to me like this. It is one of the few safe ways I have to use it. When the writing truly flows, it flows out of my fingers. It is seamless. I mean I visualize the finished sentence in my head. This is how I write. I write in the zone when it is flowing. I’m also like Edgar Cayce. I think I might have that ability, his ability to be in trance and channel medical advice. My medical intuition already works a certain way and I’m not even in medical school yet. The first four years will undoubtedly make me crazy as I have to touch people.
- Why does touching people in a healing capacity, shaking their hands, and in general having them around me make me crazy?
Touching people in a healing capacity makes me see images, thoughts and feelings swirling around in my head. Shaking somebody’s hand offers me a download of information. Sleeping beside somebody also winds me up. It is why sleepovers are hell and I prefer to be alone. I’m simply a very solitary person. Healing somebody is especially traumatizing.
- Why is my magick intrinsic? Why do I not need an altar?
An altar is just for show. I use my mind. Supplies? Pfft. What’s that. I like the ceremonial magick stuff and sooner or later I have to make choices. I’m
Reclaiming that much I know. I miss my Reclaiming buddies who moved.
- Can I tell when people are going to have a psychotic break?
TRUE FALSE
Power of Attorney Quiz Questions and Answers
I need sane power of attorneys. People who stick with their treatment plans, responsible people and above all people who know how to finish things the way I finished my college degree. It is my standard that you must have at least a bachelor’s to be power of attorney. You also have to be sticking to treatment if you are in treatment for any sort of illness.
- What results come from my 22q11 genetic deletion syndrome?
Hypothyroidism, schizophrenia, bipolar 1 with mania, hypocalcemia, and hypoparathyroidism. I’m not sure if my magnesium being low comes from 22q11 but it might be a result. My actual diagnostic label is schizoaffective bipolar 1. As in, I’m on the schizophrenia spectrum, the bipolar spectrum, and the OCD spectrum, which is also related to 22q11.
- What is type 1 diabetes? How do I manage it?
Type 1 diabetes is an illness whose onset is early childhood and is characterized by a loss of pancreatic insulin cell function. It requires the use of synthetic insulin to substitute the hormone that stops being produced when type 1 diabetes is diagnosed. I use an insulin pump to manage it which requires changing an infusion set every three to four days. (extra points for mentioning the insulin pump in your answer)
- What other replacement hormones do I take (include doses)? And why?
L-thyroxine at 112 mg, which is synthetic thyroid hormone that replaces the hormone my thyroid won’t make anymore. Your thyroid regulates menstruation, your metabolism, and body temperature. One symptom of hypothyroidism is being cold a lot.
- What brand of Vitamin D do I take and why?
I take Vitamin D to supplement my losses caused by hypocalcemia. 2,000 IU Trader Joes Vitamin D. Also, I take Adult gummies calcium at the dose of 700 Vitamin D3 and calcium at 500 mg. I’m also taking Swanson’s magnesium at 200 mg twice a day.
- Where does insulin come from and why can diabetes kill you in 0 to 60 if you don’t have it?
Insulin comes from the human body but is synthetic in origin. Diabetes can kill you in 5 minutes if insulin is not present. It is very deadly to do without insulin by whatever means necessary. Don’t worry I take my meds religiously.
- Why did I cut caffeine from my diet in 2010? What types of caffeine are safe for me to consume? What types can I not have under any circumstances?
Caffeine makes me manic. Coca-cola is instant mania. Caffeine that is safe for me to consume is chocolate in any form except chocolate covered coffee beans which is direct caffeine from the source, the coffee bean. I can’t have black tea, green tea, caffeine laced tapioca flavors at boba shops, oolong tea, red tea, white tea, and yerba mate is flat out dangerous. I can’t have coffee without being put in the psych ward for the first time. Hot chocolate is the safest type of caffeine there is for me. Mania is my kryptonite. It makes me pretty helpless and under its sway.
- What is mania?
A symptom of bipolar 2 in which there is a decreased need for sleep, when people talk more or feel pressure to keep talking more than necessary. It causes short attention spans from one minute to the next, grandiose thinking, delusions, and flight of ideas. When I get manic I move quickly and walk fast. Many others not me spend money foolishly. Odd sexual behavior is exhibited, along with an increased feeling of horny. There is also reckless driving , agitation and extreme anxiety. OCD in the mix means I think repetitive thoughts that have no basis in reality.
- How does mania affect me personally?
I ramble. I have grandiose ideas. I talk too fast without pausing. I can’t shut up. I rant about inventing and business ideas. I talk to people about said ideas I forget talking to hence why my mania is a huge security risk for my business ideas. One wrong move and an idiot could take advantage of me.
- What bone injury happened a year ago, Mach 7th, 2016 which was aggravated by what?
I fractured my tibia and dislocated my patella. A day later I dislocated my patella twice more. The tibia is a big bone in your leg that helps your knee bend. I fractured mine right at the knee where your knee bends. The injury was not caused by yoga directly but aggravated by wearing worn shoes. I now have new shoes to wear daily but the injury came from my old shoes that I was wearing a lot.
- Describe hypocalcemia as the cause of the injury.
My calcium is low because I have hypoparathyroidism. Hypocalcemia caused the injury to happen since I was not taking a calcium supplement at the time of the injury. I’m at risk for other injuries give or take my calcium doesn’t go up. A year ago I was not taking a calcium supplement.
- How does my schizoaffective bipolar aggravate my type 1 diabetes?
When I get paranoid or manic, my blood sugar runs high. If I get paranoid, I have highs upwards of 250 to 350. If I have a high blood glucose that elevated I manage to pretend diabetes doesn’t exist. Scary. I ignore it. Terrifying. I also get depressed or delusional if my blood sugar is that high.
- I get mean when I’m manic.
TRUE FALSE
- Describe my insulin pump in one paragraph.
A pager-like device that is worn on the hip and is filled with three days worth of insulin in the reservoir. It continually administers insulin via infusion set which is a tube made of plastic and paper that is taped onto the site area. Basal rates are hourly to every fifteen minutes while boluses are insulin doses administered via a screen that has up and down arrows depending on dosage.
- Define DNA. (Actual name)
Deoxyribonucleic acid.
- Why should I never drink alcohol again?
It fucks up my social skills. It is truly fucked I drank so long from age 18 to 29. I quit drinking on my own with limited help. Eventually I just learned to say no. Let’s not get into how much I drank. It was considerable. I had a high tolerance. It severely impairs my social skills. The more I drink, the worse it gets. One drink can utterly impair my judgment. It can also cause mania. And that is why I do not touch alcohol anymore, period. I’m a recovered functional alcoholic. If anybody tries to get me to drink, then I assume you want to put me in the psych ward automatically.
- Does untreated schizophrenia impair your IQ?
It is a heavy distraction. Once on the meds, it can improve your IQ as well as your attention span. Caffeine use does not improve IQ. If anything, it can fuck it up more. I have never in the past had a low IQ, nor in the present. That is a lie made up by certain people who will not be named. The best answer for this one is to say I have a high IQ, you know it, you see it, and you appreciate it.
- Does being pigeon-toed as a child cause structural deformities in my legs and would that stop me from practicing yoga, tai chi, and martial arts?
This has yet to be proven. I’m pestering my sports medicine guy to MRI both legs. I suspect I have some problems. Like hell I will stop practicing martial arts. Extra points for knowing how many black belts I want which is four in four different styles.
- How did I not need surgery for pulmonary atresia?
Pulmonary atresia means that my heart’s blood flows the wrong way. It is a murmur. It also means I need antibiotic before dental work religiously. Dental work without antibiotic puts me at risk for endocarditis or a heart infection. Now that can possibly shorten my life span. You tell me about this because I need more information about being born with a hole in my heart that closed after three days. I have no further information than that and it is time to go after my medical record.
- Why am I so goddamn anxious all day every day sometimes 24/7 and that gets better with my meds?
Anxiety is genetic. It is also a learned behavior that therapy helps you unlearn. OCD is also something I need therapy for. My medication today also helps me unlearn anxiety based behavior. For the most part, my brain is tamed with medication such as the non-habit forming buspar. Ativan made me a junkie. Xanax would have been the same thing. Buspar is easy to learn new behaviors on. It might also be a side-effect of hypocalcemia.
- What type of medications am I taking and what are their classifications?
(all of it)
L-thyroxine 112 mg thyroid hormone, synthetic.
Buspar 20 mg or more since I pop it to relieve anxiety.
Geodon 140 mg one of 60 and one of 80 – antipsychotic prescribed for schizophrenia.
Lexapro – antidepressant, 10 mg for OCD
Vitamin D Trader Joes, 2,000 IU
Adult Gummies – 500 mg calcium Vitamin D 700 IU Phosphorus 230 IU
Magnesium – 200 mg twice a day
- I want perfect diabetes and an average of 135 daily.
TRUE FALSE
- Why do I want perfect diabetes?
I get wound up with glucose above 165 mg/dl. I want perfect diabetes, which would be as if I never felt diabetic again. I want to achieve total control over type 1 diabetes. I want to have an average of 135 mg/dl. I want to be able to eat whatever I want to eat too. I feel at my best when I’m 140-150.
- What counts as a high blood sugar that pisses me off?
Anything above 165 mg/dl because I correct at 165 mg/dl and I feel that I get wound up above 165. If I’m above 260 mg/dl in the middle of the night, I do not drive the next day. I use extreme caution driving unless I manage to stabilize by 6 a.m. I’m close to not needing to wake up in the middle of the night.
- Why is using infusion sets for the insulin pump a huge calculated risk daily?
My infusion set can go down at any time. An infusion tube can fail leading to massive high blood sugar such as a reading of 475 mg/dl.
- Do I need more OCD therapy than I’m getting as of April 2017?
TRUE FALSE
I’m in an income bracket so low I do not have to file taxes. I do them sometimes but I have to pay more than I need to. I have exactly $142 in the bank. I can’t hang out with anybody except myself. I do have a bunch of coupons I need to use. Like Burger King coupons. But well, I’d rather people come to see me. I had a massively messed up high blood sugar today. As for my power of attorney quiz, I’m working on that and job applications. The quiz is real. I’m grading it. I am posting it on this blog. It is open book but I expect good writing, paragraphs, and answers relevant to the science behind my disability. If you want POA, it needs to be honestly earned. I want to formalize it with a notary signature.
I have bent my nail filer and my vacuum’s plug. Fortunately the vacuum still works. I bend things daily. My medication keeps my psi under control. I rarely write about this stuff in public. But well, I need help from people who get why I need meds. I have all my spoon pictures in my phone. I’m looking for a spiritualist church in San Jose, as well as a Buddhist temple.
Mean things to Say To People who try to talk you out of taking your medication
These people mean you harm. They have a death wish for you. They are obnoxious telling you about the vicious side effects of your meds. If you are schizophrenic like me, you need meds to keep your brain acting normal. When I first tried my Geodon, it made an enormous difference. So when somebody tells me medication is bad for me, I laugh.
- Do you want me to die?
Medication saves lives. I would flat out ask the idiot if they want me to die. Skipping doses can cause mania or depression. Anybody who wants me to quit meds altogether is not looking out for my own best interests. I have been on Geodon 5 years with no missed doses this May. I can actually drive on Geodon. My driving is impeccable. Fortunately my mother is paying the insurance this year.
- Fuck you.
The dumb anti-medication sorts are trying to ruin your health. Don’t be convinced by these morons that you can stop taking your medication. I knew I needed medication from 6th grade, even as far back as 5th grade. Maybe even younger than that, I knew I needed meds. I didn’t get my medication until I was 20 when I started my experiments linking caffeine use to mania.
- Be defiant and take your medication in front of the idiot.
This method is something I like to rub in. My medication makes me on par an equal with everybody else. My brain works properly, for once. And also for once, I make sense. Not taking medication is just irresponsible. My childhood was full of dreadful suffering since I didn’t even have a medication to control my OCD.
- You are ignorant.
Many medication phobes are ignorant. I once had one indigo medication phoebe tell me my medication has petroleum in it. Totally crazy delusional right? This was in an indigo group on Facebook. I posted the chemical composition of my medication to rub in I know more science than he did. I put science over spirituality first. I redid my Facebook about page to reflect the fact that I’m a scientist first. I want to become a conventional western medicine psychiatrist with knowledge of alternative medicine and quite possibly an acupuncturist. As in, I want to have herbal knowledge. Herbs have just as many side-effects as western medicines. In fact, some like St. John’s Wort can interact with Prozac in a god-awful way. St. John’s Wort only succeeds in making me hypomanic and hence feeling shitty. It also causes sensitivity to sunlight, which makes me red in the face. Rosemary can cause a pregnant woman to have a miscarriage if she touches the oil. Wild yes.
- Shut up.
A simple shut up does wonders to prevent the ignorant moron from opening his mouth. Vaccines do not cause autism. Autism is genetic. I can’t stand ignorant people. If somebody’s kid got the measles because they were unvaccinated, I feel sorry for them. While I agree the HPV vaccine is useless and does some damage, normal vaccines prevent people from getting old illnesses. The polio was wiped off the planet and yet some people don’t bother vaccinating against it. There sits one vial of polio at the CDC in Atlanta. I hope they destroy it. There is no point in studying it.
Ignorant anti-medication people try my patience. I dislike them. I seek to avoid them. I walk away from them. I get done immediately with them. They want to hurt me by talking me out of taking my meds. I put them on ignore. You say one mean thing about my meds, I have every right to tell you that you want me to die, you should die painfully yourself, and that I prefer not to suffer.
Many medication phobes are ignorant. I once had one indigo medication phobe tell me my medication has petroleum in it. Totally crazy delusional right? This was in an indigo group on Facebook. I posted the chemical composition of my medication to rub in I know more science than he did. I put science over spirituality first. I redid my Facebook about page to reflect the fact that I’m a scientist first. I want to become a conventional western medicine psychiatrist with knowledge of alternative medicine and quite possibly an acupuncturist. As in, I want to have herbal knowledge. Herbs have just as many side-effects as western medicines. In fact, some like St. John’s Wort can interact with Prozac in a god-awful way. St. John’s Wort only succeeds in making me hypomanic and hence feeling shitty. It also causes a sensitivity to sunlight which makes me red in the face. Rosemary can cause a pregnant woman to have a miscarriage if she touches the oil. Wild yes.
- Shut up.
A simple shut up does wonders to prevent the ignorant moron from opening his mouth. Vaccines do not cause autism. Autism is genetic. I can’t stand ignorant people. If somebody’s kid got the measles because they were unvaccinated, I feel sorry for them. While I agree the HPV vaccine is useless and does some damage, normal vaccines prevent people from getting old illnesses. The polio was wiped off the planet and yet some people don’t bother vaccinating against it. There sits one vial of polio at the CDC in Atlanta. I hope they destroy it. There is no point in studying it.
Ignorant anti-medication people try my patience. I dislike them. I seek to avoid them. I walk away from them. I get done immediately with them. They want to hurt me by talking me out of taking my meds. I put them on ignore. You say one mean thing about my meds, I have every right to tell you that you want me to die, you should die painfully yourself, and that I prefer not to suffer.
Guice said in an emailed statement. ” I am sorry and deeply regret my reply. I know nothing about her and her family and replied in knee-jerk fashion. I’d like to think the people of Mississippi and my constituents know that I”m willing to help where I am able.”
From my Facebook page. Somebody found correct information.
You are much loco. I have type 1 diabetes. I’m finally able to get a job or two or three. I’m going to start making money. It has been a long road to stability for me because I’m also schizophrenic. Some people need insulin to stay alive. I’m going to be around for at least 90 years. Insulin prolongs your life span, not shorten it. Am I hearing your idiocy correctly? Some people need extra help. I have plans to be a billionaire who sets a better example for all the other mean ones. I have a B.A. in creative writing and two A.A.s, one in creative writing and one in anthropology with honors. I plan on getting psychology and business done in the next year by the time I’m 38. I want my B.A. in social work and my B.S. in psychology by 40. My law degree by 44. And my Masters by 47 and my PH.D. by 50. I am not quite sure how to work this all out yet. I may also want an M.D. Yes there will be working and going to school. Full time work. I use an insulin pump and medication to keep myself alive. I want to become a private investigator and electrical engineer. 90 years is a long time. I can’t tell you everything but this is a start. I hope you get ousted from power in Mississippi. What kind of cruel and heartless commentary are you making? You probably have genocide of disabled people in mind if you think this way. I know some people do feel that the Affordable Care Act shouldn’t exist. Without the Affordable Care Act, genocide would happen. It is what some people want. To get rid of people perceived as useless on a World War 2 level. I plan on evading this genocide and living a very long life in revenge. Don’t bother calling me special because my medication gives me humility and I will just tell you to shut up.
I have an interview with an appliance repair company today. I look forward to this because I’m able to work in this field if they want me. Somebody will actually be at the company to interview me. I have their phone number. I’m showing up before my class starts. You bet. I’m going to nail this job.
iriavp 