To be a mental health advocate as blunt as Carrie Fisher. I feel a call to action. I need to advocate. I was a functional alcoholic from 2000-2010. I quit drinking in 2010. I also quit caffeine. Alcohol does nothing but make me dysfunctional. My social skills atrophy. It is a person’s imagination that it makes them better. That’s fucking delusional. I must continue Carrie Fisher’s work. I hung out too much with somebody who smoked marijuana regularly. That also does nothing good although Prop 64 makes it legal in a year. I broke up with my Ex for many reasons including his never wanting to take work related classes to upgrade his resume. I’m about to do that this January. I will spend all this year working my part-time job as an intern at an education company that teaches kids how to cook. I found another work from home job as an ETS test grader. If anybody is interested and is fluent in English, I might be able to help you. And for all the boys reading this, I’m not looking for anybody. I need to be single for a year. My braindead feeling gets better in January.
I’m an advocate. Like hell I’m going to stop talking about my meds in public. My aunt told me to quit doing that but I just put her on ignore. I’m sure there are those who admire my bluntness. I do not quit talking about my meds. I take them daily. I’m stable daily. My meds are awesome. Like hell I will stop.
Medication Gives me an Edge
It has helped me catch up socially to kids my age now that both bipolar symptoms and schizophrenia symptoms are treated. I have an edge because I am always in control. I haven’t cried in like four years except when tearing up about my dog who died in 2006. My medication gives me a solid edge. My brain is sorted out. I get straight A’s in all academic situations. I might be able to understand math better. I’m starting an electrical engineering program on October 5th. My brain is working so much better on the meds that I might have better aptitude for everything I’m going to study. I am a straight A student at Greyschool.com. I have a 95% at Penn Foster.com. My average at Greyschool is 94%. It is online pagan education. I actually advanced myself to Year 5 but I’m waiting on getting my SSI monthly to pay for Greyschool’s level up and the $8 a month it is.
I have decided to cancel my Mountain View YMCA gym membership. I can’t afford to pay $70 although I have the scholarship application ready to go for the Santa Theresa YMCA membership I’m going to get. I plan on living at my parent’s condo for 5 years or more. In fact, I have an evil plan to sell $700,000 in sales at my company which is 7,000 schools. I will buy the condo out from under them without them fully registering that’s my plan. I find that schizophrenia might run in my family. I can’t be as blunt and say who but it is in my line from both parents. My medication is powerful. It keeps me stable. I love taking it. I stay mellow. Nobody can push me over the edge although I can’t imagine why anybody would want to these days. There is nothing wrong with needing to take medication.
It fills me with homicidal rage. Never use it on me. Never use it about somebody else. Don’t fucking say that. It’s mean. No disabled person uses the word anyway on each other or about somebody else. Of course South Park is crude when they say the disabled person uses it on himself and about other people. I thought that was actually funny. Tropic Thunder didn’t piss me off either. When he used it on Ben Stiller’s character, it was part of the comedic farce. It wasn’t meant as a serious assault. But mark my words, I have been assaulted with this word. I’m disabled and good-looking, of course they will dislike my pure heart too and assault that without realizing I can’t return the same. The word retard makes me a homicidal maniac. Don’t ever say it. You don’t want me manic and pissed off. I can hear it once, and it sets off mania too. I get a massive adrenalin rush from the rage. I’m vile when I rapid cycle too. Caffeine makes me rapid cycle. So I had to commit to never drinking coffee again.
If you take medication for any reason, try not to feel bad. Medication is a wonderful tool. I’m very grateful for mine. I can’t skip a dose ever but I think it is great for me. I can relax. I was constantly anxious from ages 11 to 20. I didn’t have medication throughout that time when I think I needed it but couldn’t express why.
I gladly will take my meds my whole life. I don’t care about side-effects. I suffered terribly. No medication is a scary state to be in. Take pride in your meds. Be stable. Take your medication. Nobody wants to deal with mania, nobody wants to deal with depression. So long as you take your meds, you will be stable. Not every medication has horrible side-effects. There are ways of treating the side-effects. I enjoy being stable. It is hard to get me emotional about much. I can control my emotions. I really appreciate my meds. Be proud of your meds. That pride can erase stigma if you find it. Don’t let anybody stigmatize you for any reason. My meds have me caught up to people my age, socially. They also help me get good grades as my Greyschool.com average is 94% by now. I did it.
I look forward to the day when disability is no longer a slur or something bad to have. I mean, really, I look forward to equal opportunity employment for all disabled people everywhere. Where nobody will be dirt poor on SSI anymore. Where health care is free, and easily accessible. I want everybody to be accepted for who they are and not be judged for genetic conditions, mental illness labels, or birth defects. A day when my type 1 diabetes will be in perfect control forever. I own myself already. I am good at defeating stigma every time I see it. I look forward to nobody giving me shit about my health problems. This is what every disabled person deserves including universal health care in the United States. We will defeat those insurance companies!!!
You owe every disabled person living in the United States an apology, not just people from Nevada.
My schizoaffective bipolar getting treated made me a straight A student in both Greyschool (93%), and Penn Foster (95%). You want to see my freakin’ transcript for both? I write some decent papers better than you are capable of writing. I’m a drain on society? Really? How many high school bullies wanted me to try suicide attempts? You think we should have a modern gestapo and exterminate disabled people huh? Oh I’m putting words in your mouth GOP.
I will be a straight A student from now on because my brain was straightened out. I can teach myself math on my own. I’m good at math now. Really. Drain on society? Who are you Hitler? Do you want women to abort disabled fetuses? Oh right, GOP wants to limit abortion rights.
Sheesh. I have to put you GOP folks in your places. I’m disabled and I have the right to do well in school as well as the right to exist. So fuck you.
I wanted to find a page in Spanish but I may as well attempt to translate this on my own. Quite a challenge. I’m busy enough.
https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Schizoaffective-Disorder
When my thyroid stabilized, I felt shitty from 18-20. I didn’t start psychotropic meds until I was 20 anyhow. I started drinking at home at 18. I became a functional alcoholic in 2002. It was beer and wine. I tried shots in college. I’m surprised that I functioned at our parties in the dorms. I was a functional alcoholic from 2002 to 2010. I quit caffeine in 2011. My roommates were all heavy drinkers. I was able to join in. I had somebody not living with us steal my tequila so I locked it away. Alcoholism is sustained by peer pressure. I’m surprised my roommates could function as they were all drug addicts too. One threatened to cut my tubing describing exactly how she would do it while I was asleep. I figured out she was lying about her age. This was an intuitive thing on my part. She kicked me out that night for calling a cop on her since she was making valid death threats. I spent the night at the house of a friend of my mom’s barely able to sleep. I was probably manic since emotional abuse, psychological, and verbal abuse all sets off mania for me. I have to leave that situation in the now if it does happen. I made my boyfriend some more basil which can keep your aura clear of influence. I use it too.
I have to use knee braces for martial arts class, tai chi, and yoga because I fractured something in my knee. I’m recovering now. I’m regaining my strength and ability to bend my knee. My patella dislocated three times on March 7th- March 8th, 2016. I spent all of March in bed pretty much. At least my parents are around this time around to take care of me. But then again I will find nurse friends if I ever injure myself again. I can always get in-home care from my insurance. I’m taken care of. I have to get a patent for my invention that I’m not mentioning until I get a patent. My knee thing messed up me getting a job a bit but at least I have an excuse to write a lot including my book as well as my business plans. My Geodon gives me wonderful follow-through which I had t
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