If many a marriage ends in divorce, then they were only planning as far ahead as the wedding with no real intention to stay together. A married couple has to make many adaptations and allowances with each other. Now before anybody believes my family’s crap about marriage, of which there is plenty of crap to believe in, the thing about this is that marriage ceremonies are an excuse to be minted a husband or wife. I find that people are lazy about the relationship process itself since a wedding is only one stressful day to celebrate the situation altogether in a manner that could be considered artificial in nature. Weddings lead to marriages that end in divorce a lot. So anyway, yes, Western marriage traditions are silly in my mind, “you are now husband and wife,” being an expression that is over used and underused at the same time, which causes me major cognitive dissonance. I find it useless to think of something that will never come, since it is but one day in your life anyway, that women wait their whole lives for if they’ve watched too much Disney that is.
I find Valentine’s Day to be silly. I’m not walking around looking for a mate right now much less salivating over men, as that is also silly. What I wonder about is whether or not the men folk are looking for me in a manner that means I have to keep them away from me. My anti-man shield scares delivery people. On occasion I can hear people’s thoughts but good luck explaining that one to psychiatric hospitals. But anyway, the thing is, Valentine’s Day irks me in more ways than one. It means that it’s a day set aside for lovers of all kinds. I’m like, not in a relationship right now so why do I care? Today is also the first day of Pantheacon, and with all the racism out in the open, everywhere, I’m wary of going anywhere. What bothers me about Valentine’s Day is that men use anything, any excuse at all to get women into bed. So in my own best interests I avoid people. My gay male friends are very safe but I’m not so sure about girls. So anyway, yes, I’ve got no plans for Valentine’s Day.
Schizoaffective generally means you are schizophrenic and bipolar 1 or 2 at the same time. I know bipolar 2s. I also know that I have a caffeine addiction. My addiction is something I’m done with despite my neighbor having a huge cup of coffee around when he was driving me to the library not a mere two weeks ago. I added fare to my Clipper card, but note that I cannot get discounted bus fare. You need to have significant impairments to get a bus discount. Since I don’t have those, I do not get one. But anyway, yes, I have bipolar 1, and I’m rapid cycler. Oh fun, that means my emotions get agitated really easily when I’m not feeling well. But anyway, I have any number of things going to make money with, book writing for one. Sometimes my life feels like a Paper Doll exercise in trying, trying, trying, and doing. There is no try. I’m working on making money here.
It would seem the rocks (gemstones) make me feel less paranoid. I am a skeptic who someone seems to get the darn things to work. As a skeptic, I try not to descend into paranoia. I changed my set without feeling extremely bitter, triggered, or pissed off enough to bend the metal. I apologized to diabetes and asked it to be my friend. My gemstones do work, like lepidolite, which is good for bipolar 1 anxiety/mania. But anyway, who am I to argue with the effectiveness of medication combined with gemstone work. Why I want to become a gemstone healer is beyond me. But yes, I’m better off studying psychic healing, and getting my certifications when I make real money.
My business ideas list that I put together in 2016, pretty much has me stuck working on the diabetes web forum non-profit. I have to look up the competition for Shadow of the Phoenix Rising. I need to work on the competition analysis for Shadow, but also I have to work on the diabetes web forum. It is a forum meant to be a type of mastermind group online where diabetics support each other in how to manage their diabetes way better. We set goals because it’s a huge online support group that is floating around in my head. It needs to be written down. I want to set this website up. However, I finally canceled Adobe Dreamweaver in full this month.
There is an idea in my head for the kinder Alex Jones sort of website. I have my own theories about who runs this planet or even the country in general. There are powerful people at work, who run things. Justice is something everybody wants to have. I want the planet to take major world problems seriously. We are working on it. We have such odds against us though. If we are to improve as a species, we have to start working together to fix major problems on this planet like homelessness and poverty. I almost wish it could be my part-time job or volunteer work, helping the homeless, if I had the energy, but I don’t because of Mr. Hernia.
In the 1970s, a huge revolution was a foot, and this is because women were looking for social equality by whatever means necessary. The feminist movements came in waves, it came to pass in the early 20th century with the fight for voting rights being won in North America during the 1920s. College opportunities opened up in the 1970s. Women felt like fighting their way into the workforce, without getting into traditionally female jobs such as teaching. More women doctors and engineers were getting their education. The thing is, women were held back from various opportunities besides being a wife and mother. Then when they got their own income, along with their ability to get a credit card, this was considered a huge societal advance.
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I want to become a judge because of Ma’at and Sekhmet, my major deities. Everything I do to bring myself justice as well as justice to others, is for Ma’at. I’m kind, and caring but pushing me around will help you discover consequences. A judge is allowed to be impartial, just to put people away, although innocent people get put away all the time. Female judges were not allowed until the 1970s. That shocked me from reading this in a Facebook article about what women were not allowed to do, and one item was open their own credit card in their own name.
A psychopath is more dangerous than a sociopath, because at least sociopaths can be manipulated into feeling guilty. Sociopaths and Psychopaths both ignore laws, because they feel they are above the law. They disregard the lives of others, and the rules of society. They do not feel remorse or guilt, and they trend towards aggressive and violent behavior. Sociopaths are nervous people who get easily stressed out displaying agitation. Sociopaths have problems regulating their behavior, particularly if they are schizoaffective as well, like in my family. Sociopaths appear normal to those who do not suspect what they are. Psychopathy causes a person to be cool, calm, and very picky. Some feel that sociopathy is cause by an environment, while psychopathy is caused by the genes.
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