Long have I wondered about what caused my original knee injury, someone out of the blue who was not bullshitting me or herself, was not talking out of her ass about it either, mentioned Baker’s Cyst as being a likely cause. I have pain and stiffness in my left knee joint, but this is because I have arthritis anyway, although some things came out from her like me needing surgery again. I’ve read about Baker’s Cyst and there is a way to resolve it at home. Physical therapy will work on it since I have to make an appointment with my sports medicine doctor. However, Medical News Today says that arthrosocopy may require surgical removal although it may not be the case that I have joint damage. I won’t know for sure until I see my doctor.
My job situation is, I’m in training for the transcription company I found. I am trying to stick with one iron in the fire, one company only. I’m looking into finding work, because I want to work, in order to supplement my income. My income gets to stressful, uncomfortable levels at times. I’m trying to keep my head above water because I have serious healthy problems. So yeah, I have to find a job or an internship that I can work with, and be present for, despite what is going on. My hernia is limiting my diet, but my doctor refuses to sign off on surgery, so I have to get a second opinion, where I think she will say I need surgery. My primary care might have talked my GI out of saying I need surgery. I may need to switch doctors, if that’s the case. I’m getting major symptoms from my hernia.
I have a Chromebook, and my bones tell me to buy a laptop, because I need to be able to get out of the house more, hauling my work around with me. So I need a new laptop to be able to work outside of the house! This laptop would mean securing my freedom. I canceled my car insurance just so I could make this investment. Now I’m really good at finding great deals to save money with, so this means that searching eBay could be a full-time job for me at some point. I’m good at it, I can always find great deals, and I do not overspend my money. I’m doing my research right now. I may yet find something awesome with accessories I need like a charger.
I’m a recovered functional alcoholic, because I quit drinking on my own. It took fortitude to stop as people were manipulating me from all sides. I have to dump toxic people who did this to me, dumping them for good, avoiding them for good, and well, this is why I want to put myself in the hospital or board and care when people come back. I need to find myself another job, since my finances took a deep hit last month, even if I got money back from my car insurance company. That was helpful. But anyway, I have to find another job soon.
My school addiction is going to come back if I pay for Greyschool’s level up fee. I’m trying not to overload myself in any academic settings. I have to be very careful how many units I take because overloading myself causes me stress that turns into mania. Stress is something I have to deal with eventually, which I ‘m trying to deal with better. I was less disruptive than I’ve ever been in my time at work 2 future. But then again I quit that when the partial intestinal obstruction crept up on me. I decided to take myself out of a toxic environment when it came to work 2 future. I’m wondering how I will do with class, because I’ve been going to Pantheacon since 2007, but didn’t go in the last two years.
I’m done saying I’m fine all the time, if I feel like shit, at the very least let me say it. I’m done imagining that I’m doing great, because I’m just plain done. I’m not fine, always. In fact I’m scared to death of coronavirus, and anything breaking down in this house without it getting fixed. But whatever, I’m always the bad guy with them right? Oh I’m sorry, I’m the good person. Because I’m done being lied to, lied about, and being kicked around. I’m done being dicked around, pushed around, messed with, while having my rules shoved aside, because I’m the responsible one. I’m done, done done. My hernia is making me very fragile right now, I cannot fight people mano-a-mano. I have to be very careful whom I hang out with. This is why you can come to me.
Hey, have you ever been depressed, normal person? Have you ever been mixed from rapid cycling? If not, do not presume to be ableist about this mental health business, when you have no idea how much someone else is suffering at your crass hands. Don’t say to them “oye loca,” cousin, after they got a diagnosis, got treated at great risk, and bucked family convention to do so. Getting stable for some of us is difficult. Don’t knock us for taking medication, since we have to in order to make rational sense at all. The ones who should be stigmatized are people who do not take medication, acting out of control. Quit stigmatizing people who go to therapy, because that keeps their fragile mental health state in check. Therapy is not wrong, or weird.
To my friends from elementary school, high school, and college, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I had an untreated mental illness for my entire life until I was 28 when I went out on a limb to get myself decent treatment once and for all. When I went through my chunky phase, I didn’t stop hearing the end of it for my family since I was fat from Zyprexa eating habits, with Geodon being what cured it. I’m sorry about my moods being all over the place while I lacked treatment options growing up since I could have gotten myself SSI at any point since the 4th grade but nobody helped me with that until I was 28. My family wanted me to stay on their insurance longer, having the nerve to accuse me of being the manipulator in that regard. I’m now set free of having to pay for medical care but I still get criticized for being low income. Say what? I can’t win.
Stress addiction is something that I’ve personally experienced. It’s why when anybody picks a fight with me I get all fight-or-flight, stressed, and really messed up. So we are evacuating from stressful situations this year, whenever that may be. We are leaving rather than risk getting infected by someone or something. Stress has been not as high for many years now. But if certain folks come back, stress will creep into my system right and left. This is why I’m putting myself in board and care, which is covered by my insurance, or I go to the hospital, which is also covered by my insurance, because we stay low-income for now, and try to muddle our way through.
I had palette surgery in one at 8, I was diagnosed with diabetes in one and on life support at 10, I had an endoscopy that was long put off at 38, so you could say I have paranoia issues revolving around hospitals. I’m going to be looking into hospitalizing myself when my parents come back, in the psych ward if necessary. I feel unstable around them, so this might have to be done under the circumstances of my anxiety. I could also go to a board and care covered by Medi-cal, whom we should call to make arrangements on this come to think of it. But anyway, yes, I need to evacuate temporarily, so I can put my doctors on alert for, here comes wacky. So when I go to wherever I go, I cannot afford having people be mean to me because that will trigger me very badly also, as much as other people doing that.
iriavp 