The Fall of 45 will happen, it is bound to happen, it is mean to happen. It is written into the history of this universe at any rate. Republicans cheat on elections most of the time anyway, it is how they “win.” 45 is going to lose it. He will have a huge narcissistic meltdown. He will cry in public, he’s going to be confused to the point of needing the hospital since Republicans will start seeing his situation for what it is, that he has designs to become a dictator. I’m independent, and need to register myself as such because I’m able to see it. But anyway, don’t take my word for it. I’m speaking out loud for once because I feel what will happen, and I understand it as a spiritual concept.
I was a severe alcoholic. These days Lamictal helps me piece together how I behaved back when I drank. Someone with low blood platelets should not be drinking as much as I did. I could put away two Guinness, large, without thinking back when I was working, and doing a good job surviving college. Functional alcoholism is a funny thing. It mans that you don’t notice how frakked up you are, and how messed up other people look at you as being. I hardly noticed the looks I used to get, the looks my family gets now. I pray they get help, seriously.
I have to apologize to my colleagues at American Lending Network since I drank that much, I had no idea how to control it. I’m terribly sorry for what I did. I was drinking way too much, damn it. It was bad, it was terrible. I seriously wish my family would see how they drink, and how dysfunctional they are but they don’t because of manic grandiosity. They scare me when they have booze. I hope to make real money soon so I can escape them should they come back.
Stress pretty much is something I need to learn better control or management with. I need to learn easier stress management with stuff, only because I am affected by it. I used to get headaches, and stomachaches, galore which in my adult life I understand as stress but I wasn’t allowed to talk to a therapist until the elementary school got a nun who served as a quasi “therapist.” Therapists teach practical things like stress management. I would have done so much better in school had I had one, although occasionally the school would cart in therapists from therapy clinics in town. Stress makes me crack up, what causes me stress though is feeling inadequate if I’m not working, feeling inadequate for being smart and yet feeling inadequate anyway because what if I’m not? That’s stuff that comes from my family, and messages I got in school from the other kids.
Stress makes me feel very frazzled, anxious, and highly stressed out in general. Mental illness symptoms are aggravated by stress. I try to keep my life low-key and low stress. I try to get in bed by 7 p.m. most nights. I try to contain my paranoid tendencies. I’m working very hard to make something of myself without engaging in the extreme overwork I was saturated in growing up, as well as exposed to in my adult life. I felt like I had to be doing something when I was living with my parent’s way back, before they moved to Spain. Stress is something that I’m trying to limit my exposure to. It means I’m going back to bed a lot, adapting to seasonal changes, so I’m trying to get enough sleep. Stress weakens your immune system, this means I’m also trying to limit my anxious thoughts. I’m trying to not get too paranoid about the virus. I’m working on making sure I stay calm.
Stress is never good for anybody, its why I’m not taking advantage of all the jobs out there, that could come up, I’m not going to try anything retail just because that could get me very sick. Workers are not being treated very well anyhow, even if they are called essential, are being forced to work while ill. I would never expect that of myself. I’m not leaving the house until the virus blows over. Too much stress and a germ latches in. Exposure to other people also creates this possibility. I’m doing my best here.
Stress causes many things to happen to your physical body. Your heart pounds since it starts to beat faster for one, in particular when you are in panic attack mode. The hypothalamus is a brain structure that sends stress hormones out there whenever your body has to respond to a perceived threat. Too much stress can make a person feel depressed easily, because stress also triggers tension headaches. Stress triggers stomach acid, which can then lead to heartburn, while also causing difficult falling asleep or staying asleep. Stress causes muscles to tense, which makes a person suffering the effects short of breath, while fear and stress are closely linked.
Long-term stress weakens the immune system, which leaves a person vulnerable to infection, also causing stomach problems. Too much exposure to stress increases a risk of heart attack, and raises the blood pressure. Stress makes it harder to conceive for women, and causes erectile dysfunction in men. Missed periods is yet another side effect of stress while stress also causes muscle tension.
Your body needs to harbor a stress response so it can handle a true emergency when blood rushes to the muscles, heart and other important organs. Stress causes over eating, or depriving yourself by not eating enough, substance abuse, and isolating yourself. The stress response itself can make it harder to breath. But the liver knows that sugar is energy, and it produces enough sugar to keep your body functional. Excessive stress can lead to diarrhea, and constipation, because stress can cause nausea, vomiting, and a stomachache. Muscles that tighten up in response to vicious stress causes back pain that can be combined with shoulder pain.
Stress can interfere with hormones in men when testosterone increases for a while but then drops when stress continues. Unrelenting stress is bad for either gender, more so for anybody. Stress could help as an aspect of how you avoid infections, since your body has to heal wounds when necessary. Those who have chronic stress means that people will get the flu, colds, and any other infections that cross their path. This is why resting can be one way to combat stress during the Covid-19 crisis.
Works Cited
I hate to say this, but the psychic stuff is real. Last night, when I was in bed by 6:30 p.m., I was busy feeling my auric field with my hands. Yes, since turning 39, I have come to say to myself; I can’t maintain a denial complex of my own when it comes to the psychic stuff. The Subtle Body by Cyndi Dale, states that there is more than one energy field around your body. I can sense most of these fields if not all of them. I was so ignorant until I read that book The Aura is made up of other types of fields, the physical, etheric, emotional, mental, astral, etheric template, celestial, and causal. In the coming weeks, I’m going to do more research on these fields to come up with a series of articles since I learn my best when I’m writing about something, or researching something to summarize. It’s why I did so well in anthropology class, which I took all classes online save a few in person classes. The auric field as a whole is made up of different colors, some you cannot paint because on the earth plane we have limited means of describing the actual colors you see in every subcategory of the field.
The psychic just breeds an overwhelming curiosity in me. I’m just a perpetually curious sort who cannot stop looking for answer. Yesterday, on my 39th birthday, I realize I should be a true believer if I expect to keep my anxiety under control. Not that my anxiety is hard to control these days if I’m actually carrying around my parent’s symptoms. I’ve read or tried to read Hands of Light by Barbara Brennan, twice. So yes, on my birthday I had any number of insights. I’m lucky I’m still alive, at 39, to be able to tell the tales I can tell. Who would have thought the chakras are real and I’d better quit putting my chakra system on a rabid little “ignore” since it needs to be repaired, if I can restore my body to function without a knee injury and a hernia that may need surgical removal after all as a lesson to my family that we need to use Western medicine sometimes.
I’ve had chronic anxiety my whole life, but the thing is in the last four years, it’s been in control until the pandemic. Then I realize it may be other people’s anxiety in my ultra sensitive system. More importantly, it is probably my parents’ mental health symptoms that they deny having, which is difficult for me to process because I can see it, but you reader must realize they do not take medication at all. My former anxiety back when it was severe because it caused an increase in heart rate, racing thoughts, and genuine distress. In the present, I’m a lot calmer, although panic attacks can still happen in particular if my PK turns on, and metals bend. Chest pain and lightheadedness is a sign of anxiety, but yesterday I was dealing with side effects of passionflower, which made me dizzy, feeling somewhat lightheaded.
I used to get headaches constantly from stress, low blood sugar can cause me anxiety to this day, although I’m no longer irritable. I used to get upset stomach from it, and when I had to fly last in 2014, I had nausea, which lead to throwing up. I’ve had anxious diarrhea before, but now I know a little more about how to control my anxiety. I’d like to get my hands on an updated The Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety program whether on download or CD these days. My anxiety causes me problems staying asleep, case in point, I woke up at 3:00 a.m. today and couldn’t go back to sleep. These days, my medication helps me be less stressed out. I didn’t know that anxiety can be that devastating on physical and mental health as the Health line website states. Living with chronic anxiety means living stuck in a fight-or-flight response. I have tried multiple different kinds of remedies, for anxiety. I’m still trying remedies for anxiety.
Works Cited
Growing up, I felt that my feelings were not paid attention to enough. It was always “Not right now, I’m working,” and this is where my workaholism was given free reign also. These days, I’m trying not to take workaholism as a thing, because I’m trying to deal with my feelings since addiction is a way to avoid your feelings by replacing accepting them with a poor substitute for validation. I try to stay away from people, I don’t want to act needy, but at the same time, I wish that I could say hey friend, let’s hang out. I’m too traumatized from my last close friendship going up in flames to a marriage nobody else amongst her friends approved of, since going to that bridal shower would have made me very ill. I’m still recovering from hearing about this friend marrying someone who is not good for her. I have many feelings about many different things, and I’m trying to cope with them. It is almost time to get a real therapist with real money.
iriavp 