Forcing yourself or a child to put up with a toxic environment predisposes them to be willing victims open to massive victimization. The fact that my mother didn’t agree with me about environments I found toxic such as St. Joseph and St. Francis because I felt I was better off in public school. But hey, that’s why you do not let someone like her define your life further when they move away. In my adult life, I remove myself from toxic environments, as soon as I evaluate it as such. I’m also trying to keep my head above water financially. So yes, I will not put up with toxic anything, work places, relationships, etc because I refuse to be pushed around.
Sometimes someone who is challenged in some way will be picked on for those challenges. Growing up, I had very painful menstrual periods that kept me sidelined every time they’d show up. This is why I was dysfunctional back then. Now with birth control I’m way more functional, despite the side effects of Birth Control itself. I’m doing okay in the present, since I am not living with anybody who picks on me for stuff I can’t control like my chronic illness. Disability is defined as various scenarios such as, the person ha a significant impairment that makes it hard for them to take care of themselves? I cannot get the bus discount, ever, think about that.
I know that most of the people I went to school with are married or in a relationship. But truthfully told, I find myself exhausted by having relationships with untreated people. It did not go so well. I find marriage to be a total scam. Marriage changes your SSI anyway, to the point of possibly getting yourself kicked off. Marriage is supposed to be a sacred union of a man and a woman, but more often than not people split up. I find marriage to be a seemingly pointless exercise. Not marrying legally is fine by me as marriage can mess up your finances. I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now. I hardly need an attachment of anybody.
I recently regretted friending someone who was mutual friends with someone else but didn’t live in California. The thing is, that person was busy asking me if I was married, with kids, and I said no. WTF? Who friends someone with that being the first question asked? I deleted/blocked him right away after that commentary. My instinct said, “don’t friend him.” But do I pay attention to that? No. I don’t. I should have listened to myself. I didn’t. My, my, and that was because I thought mom wouldn’t like me trusting myself even if she is thousands of miles away. I have thought it over. Anything people who do not take medication say is not real. Anything they try to pretend is stable is not stable. I do not take untreated hot messes of a person seriously. In the end, I’m trying to do better for myself because I’m working on myself.
The Ferengi are busy telling me to mistrust my instincts, yes, my own mother says to do this. Anybody they send to be my roommate except certain family friends in Spain would be toxic, rude, and narcissistic. The roommate I may have is non-toxic. She comes from a similar upbringing to mine. She will not cause me deliberate stress. How do I know this? Psychics can tell things about each other. Playing poker with psychics may be a very interesting thing to do someday. My instincts are much better than they used to be.
Mistrusting myself is something that I’ve been brainwashed into doing. I refuse to mistrust myself anymore. My gut-brain connection is alive and well, since most people have this sort of connection going on. Trusting your instincts comes from trusting how someone’s energy makes you feel. A certain someone and her husband make me feel very ill even if I mention them to someone else. You can tell a lot about someone by the way other people react to their energy when you talk to them about this person. I have also learned to trust a dog’s good judgment. But anyway, that’s another blog post.
Schizoaffective means that a schizophrenic does not have just schizophrenia but they have a mood disorder like bipolar in addition to schizophrenia. Schizophrenia causes hallucinations and delusions that occur naturally in your brain. To all the anti-Western medicine people: I need my medication and I need my insulin. I’m a fragile person. Schizoaffective requires that the sufferer take medication just to be able to sleep at night. Medication treats delusions, as well as mood swings. Mania leads to depression in a schizoaffective person. Schizoaffectives can be misdiagnosed as only having schizophrenia. Taking medication is better than having continual, disorganized thoughts. If they have schizoaffective-related depression they will feel sad or worthless, although mania causes risky behavior, including other symptoms of mania.
https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/schizoaffective-disorder
I have an idea for people who truly respect the mentally ill or disabled, to walk around as a bodyguard for the disabled person who is walking around in a city. If they need to go out, but feel paranoid, the disabled person has a bodyguard who understands their illness. I will have to hire such a person if I do wind up moving to Los Angeles. The bodyguard business comes from a time long ago, when I was waiting for the bus at school, but having vicious panic attacks from drinking too much caffeine in a desperate bid to try to stay awake. I had two guys decide to help me, since eventually after that harrowing experience I decided to get back on the medication. Their names were Santiago and Evantris, a Greek guy and a black guy. I got this idea from them, for helping me. I wish I could get back in touch with Evantris who lives in Greece.
iriavp 