Publishing my book on bullies would do me a world of good now that I’m no longer in excruciating pain from an intestinal obstruction and I can write at the volumes I have been able to write since moving to San Jose three years ago. A literary agent can take on my book and market it as I’m going the literary agent route this time around. My book is being formatted. I also have to have somebody check my citations. I used many books for my citations, all I need is someone who can check my work with APA, also known as the American Psychological Association which is what real psychologists and others know how to do.
I’m still academically frustrated but working on my Greyschool takes care of that. I have some procrastination issues. I used to be on Effexor, which made those easier to deal with. I’m continually trying to sleep the whole night and falling short. Every night is an opportunity to learn how to sleep the whole night. But no, oh no, I’m busy trying too hard. I mean my body might never be able to sleep the whole night. I went through too much bullying as a child because of other people giving me shit for my symptoms that I cannot control.
Yes you called me crazy with your finger to your head. Your companion complained to you but you said “Well she is!” Loud enough for me to confirm that you dug your own grave with that. I’m Old Testament. Do not fuck with Old Testament people. You are mean to everybody around you who tries to be your friend. You must be a sad, desperate person who likes inflicting suffering on innocents. I had a big radiology appointment today and I was tired but I still managed to be civil to you. How shady you are for not being able to contain your jealousy of me. Wow. You must be miserable to have to inflict suffering on somebody who is already fighting a new health problem, and way less terrified of dealing with the big three on my own. Wow. Yes, you keep digging your own grave. I’m good at making you do that for yourself.
I’m trying to learn more about money by using the Internet as well as the library. I need to buy myself stock. I also need to invest wisely. I’m looking into house sitting at companies with reasonable fees give or take the situation I want to find myself in with work 6 months from now. I’ve decided that I have to make more money, so I’m going to try to make more money. The bottom line is that I need to try. I’m good at saving money by now because I establish a monthly budget. They sent me an “It is good to get a part-time job” notice in the mail.
Let’s just say I write copy. It is something I’m good at. Writing copy is fun, while giving me experience in that field, since I do have that B.A. in English. I don’t want to stop at that B.A. though. But anyway, yes, I need to learn more about money, so I got myself a book or two on financial literary, some by Suze Orman. I’m in the have money category but have not category for having sustainable or significant income. Having regular income is the dream of my life come true.
But then again, I have been sabotaged by family in the quest to get income, that I do not trust them at all. They never do what they are going to say anyway. So it is up to me to learn about the stock market on my own. I have some knowledge about that, from 8th grade business classes. I have to increase my financial literacy for my own good. I’m done being low-income. I need to make more income for myself. I’m losing my shit if I don’t. I’m stressed. I have chronic stress problems I’m trying to fix, along with everything else.
I don’t want to overdo the whole self-improvement thing. I feel that I’m going to eventually make it financially and this year, I need to make significant income or die trying. I want money, I want to be less financially stressed out, I’m trying to make money within the limit working on my copy writing. But hey, sooner or later that bullies book has to be published, as well as sold to a literary agent first so as to be distributed all over the place.
I’m not interested in anybody right now, sure, dating for fun, that’s cool. But see, I need to get myself sterilized, which is something that should have been done when I was in my irresponsible 20s but that got deferred because of college. Now I’m waiting on a healed left knee and perfect type 1 diabetes to get myself sterilized as I need to eventually go there if I’m ever allowed to have fun. So yes, I’m not exactly on the market right now as I have shit to sort through.
Massive trauma to sort through in fact, that I will eventually need a solid therapist MFT to help me sort through this. Valentine’s Day is something I hate with a searing passion, hated still even when I was with someone. I am livid about this holiday. I stayed home this year, I wasn’t going to be out on the prowl, since I’m just fed up with relationships right now in general. It is nice to stay friends with options, since some have dings like working for a mental health organization that is rude to people. Some have positives like sustaining a full time job and being medication consistent. I’m not into being too specific here. I have to hustle my options. I have to date a bit since I’m only 37, in my last few months of being 37, and last few weeks of not being able to sleep all night. See, that is more of a priority along with taking care of stuff that is going on. I’m not quite healthy enough to be with anybody right now anyway.
I want to invest in the stock market. I’m trying to learn more about investment strategy using libraries to give myself access to the information that I need. I want to buy Paramount Pictures stock, also known as Viacom because of Star Trek: Discovery which is at $34.66 a share, from https://finance.yahoo.com/quote/VIA/ I want Humalog stock, from Eli-Lilly although that share is at $122.02. https://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/lly/. I’m also going to look into buying stock with my test strips manufacturer, at $76.13, https://www.google.com/search?source=hp&ei=jsJyXMeeLIjN0PEPqo-xgAg&q=ABbot+industries+stock+price&btnK=Google+Search&oq=ABbot+industries+stock+price&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0i22i10i30l2j0i22i30.53559.57985..58139…6.0..0.119.2678.30j4……0….1..gws-wiz…..0..0j0i131j0i10j0i13j0i13i30j0i8i13i30j33i160.-qKqwMPrLYk.
I need more income, real income, and consistent income. At this point, I’d say I’m done being low-income. Being as low-income as I am on the one end, is great. I have little responsibility aside from budgeting my money correctly. But on the other end, I feel as if I have to step up and make money as an adult. I need to get a bunch of certifications, I also have to go back to school, to at least work on an AA in film and television as well as an MFA with a minor in journalism. I hope this blog can make me significant income as my income is inching its way up to a $1.00 deposit.
Okay, so my T-shirt business needs some investment as my accounts at Bank of America were closed due to me not having enough income to invest in for the t-shirt business at all. I have business credit cards in my possession but I do not use them. I want to start a business on Etsy to make billions that can get me to UCLA for my career, and in the present I plan on earning a film and television Associate’s at De Anza, which would lead to an MFA at San Jose State. While getting my MFA I will manage to look into Law School at UCLA or other schools I would apply to with my Bachelor’s good enough to enroll in the Master’s program at San Jose State.
During this time I’d be stuck in San Jose, with the faith that I’m going to be around for a long time, long enough to complete my educational goals. My business idea has to get off the ground. On good days, I feel peppy enough to wear my t-shirts but on bad days I tend to hide out in my condo. I suppose I live in fear of success. Failure I can take, success, I can’t. Why is that? I have no idea but more therapy needs to be done until I can succeed at something and feel good about it.
I’m interested in the occult because the Catholic faith got boring. I was not allowed to participate or to read the Bible on my own terms. My family, both coming from fascist countries and being authoritarian in terms of parenting style, didn’t let me quit going to church until 2002. That was when I said, I need my thyroid stable, which it got stable, and I said, forget it. I quit going to church. My family wouldn’t even let me be an altar server. But hey, I have come to realize an unmarried priest is the worst person to ask for relationship advice from.
Yes, the metaphysical stuff is interesting, even if I feel my abilities are crap. In my 20s, I was a functional alcoholic, so school took longer for me to pass because of my drinking habits. My roommates back then encouraged my drinking. The number of times I could have wound up in the ER, for goodness sake. Just flashbacking to that gives me sugar cravings. I’m interested in witchcraft because I was abused so much I was wondering what tools I had to protect myself, tools, such as binding, banishing, protection, or outright cursing. Cursing is the least popular among modern witches. Some of them do curse people to make them learn their lesson.
In modern circles, it is considered bad karma, however, to curse somebody. In the past, it got us into trouble, which is why we witches were burnt at the stake. Witchcraft beget much mischief. We were responsible for making men impotent among other things, because this is a real ability that many of us have preserved through the centuries. It is one way to tell a horny guy to cool off. But hey, who says witchcraft is not real, it is.
I managed to write a fiction novella for myself this year, but then I have tried to start an autobiographical story I want to publish under a pen name. I have some energy for that, but with my intestinal obstruction going on, and me feeling run down, I’ve decided to cut back on writing. In particular, I have decided to watch out for my Vocal Media writing, which I may get around to doing tomorrow. I finished all my copywriting for the week, and I’ve decided to give myself a break tomorrow. There is a deluge of work on the site anyway.
My non-fiction is not cursed but my fiction is cursed. I can’t seem to muster the energy to write fiction despite all the fan fiction ideas rattling around in my head. I seriously feel fear at opening fiction applications. I’m wondering what the hell that is all about as I deleted the person who I thought the curse came from. I’m just innocent and didn’t expect to take her curse to heart. I did. I need to kick it out of my system. I suppose curses only work on people with a conscience. I have one, don’t take advantage of it, as those ex friends don’t realize they fucked with me. It has fucked me up real good. This week, I plan on sleeping the whole night, and then managing my time perfectly if I succeed at sleeping the entire night. I can work for Rev, and HireWriters. I have plenty of writing income that could be coming in from a variety of sources. So yes, I’m working to eventually make myself significant income which means I will have to pay real insurance. Sigh. But then again, I will have money for school as well as certifications.
That’s when this blog will be used a lot because we have to get it through stigmatizing idiots’ heads why I take medication. You normal average people understand why. It is the only way to control my abilities. That is why I have to stay medication consistent or risk going out of control. You do not want someone with my level of talent out of control. This is why I’m not at Pantheacon this year. I need a break, and I need some space. So in which case, I’m taking this weekend slow as I’m meeting with Catholic Charities next week to figure out my work from home situation.
I have a non-fiction book that is in the process of being formatted. I’m making extra money this month copywriting. If I had more energy, I would be writing more, but I’m dealing with stuff I do not want Satan (my mother) to find out about so my mouth has to stay shut right there. Bullies love to catch people off guard, as in my post yesterday when somebody did that but I was shielded. I did notice his friend told him to shut up. I also heard him say I’m a warrior-tard, gee, you just had to go there, since I’m epically frustrated due to not being in martial arts where I can release pent-up aggression in a controlled manner.
I also cannot job right now due to my knee injury. I can’t do anything athletic and that is pissing me off. So bully, the next time you slur me, shut your goddamn mouth. Bullies love catching you by surprise, because that is a maximum way to hurt your feelings. What makes you think that I’m going to take interest in you after you slur me, which means you’re an abusive personality anyway, which I saw about you instantly. So in which case, keep your mouth shut the next time you see my retarded face asshole. Oh does my 22q offend you? Does a specific facial feature offend you?
WTF is your problem? My book is already finished but that doesn’t stop me from starting a local newspaper or a tabloid style magazine where disabled people call out the people who pick on them, in particular organizations that pick on them. Thanks for my massive C-PTSD flashbacks. I already knew what you were going to say the second I laid eyes on you. Your friend pointed out my knee has a while to go for healing it but yes, that does happen. Asshole, I was born with a dysfunctional immune system that learning many energy healing modalities might fix if I can learn how to heal myself from illness faster. This newspaper will take the opportunity to slam bullies that are constantly confronted. Even bullies who take disabled people out into the community.
iriavp 