I would try to get a class discussion going but it was often me and one other person since people my age would just sit there, blank thoughts. I envy you normal people for being able to just clear your mind although I can do that with an effort. I have to take some of my own mind body knowledge to other mentally ill people. Yes, while I was in college people didn’t really participate much in English class but they tried for creative writing class. I was as stable as I dared get in college, because I worked very had to get stable.
We pagans believe that thoughts are things but that is not necessarily literal for the more practical among us. The thing is, one Pantheacon, I reminded folks that mentally ill people think all kinds of things about all kinds of things. We get paranoid about our symptoms, the hospital, our psychiatrist noticing us, and more. Thinking thoughts can become your own worst enemy especially at night. This is why my instincts say don’t hang out with other psychics since I’m fragile. Mental illness lets many different types of thoughts just getting shoved into our heads. Self-help books aim to help us restructure our thoughts as does cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. I have used many a self-help book with much success to manage my OCD, since they come in the mail often.
Reader, feel free to correct my ignorance, please do tell me how you feel about your diagnosis if you have one, since I imagine my old man is on the autism spectrum. Why else would the narc lie about his kid being ADD then? Autism is one manifestation of th autism spectrum, which is a range of how people are affected by autism. Aspergers used to be in the DSM but they took it out? Somebody with autism tell me why they did that? Also, ADD is either on the autism spectrum or not on the autism spectrum? Anybody can feel free to correct me with this definition. The thing is the autism spectrum is wide but there is still wide spread ignorance out there, even my own.
My self-esteem needs work because I endlessly beat myself up for really stupid things. I’m also dealing with CPTSD because I get flashbacks on a regular basis about when someone has done me wrong. This is why I’m working on getting better at giving people shit. I’m working my way out of codependency. I was stable throughout the night tonight, and I woke up feeling more or less good. I’m winning the diabetes war big time, and tomorrow is strip day. I’m doing my best here. And winning. So yes, I’m feeling stable and grounded today. I did call in the legal clinic to say I need to use video conferencing instead of actually going to the Santa Clara University campus. I am proud I didn’t let my codependency force me to do something that isn’t good for me, like taking three buses to get to the campus. So we sucked it up and asked for help, something that my family sometimes forbids.
I excel at giving people shit. If someone is mean to me, they have forfeited their right to kindness. So I’m plenty mean to them back. Yes, crowds scare me sometimes, because I can hear every thought in that crowd. Now I’m a twisted soul who gives people shit when they do me wrong, and it is endless until they crack and apologize. That is my strategy. I’m plenty nice most times. But when someone fucks up, oh, god help them. My roommates in Fall 2004, were busy doing me serious harm but I got them into a lot of trouble. I excel at getting bullies into trouble only because I try to make sure to protect myself from mean people even if that wasn’t always something my family was behind when I was growing up. You see, it works on them too. It works quite well on them. Lol. I take great amusement when someone has wronged me, knows it, and gets schooled on why I can intimidate the hell out of them. This is not mean of me, so if you dare say I’m the mean person, look out. I’m not the mean person because not everything is your fault. If you, reader, have ever been told that something was your fault, that’s a gaslighting lie and I come from a family of expert gaslighters. Not everything dear one, is your fault.
The legal advising clinic for one is another next step. I have read the how to sell a business book from Nolo press that I took home with me from the library. I’m working on figuring out how to ask for business partners who can help me with the actual venture itself. My goal is to have East West as an equal partner in the situation. We need to sell the business to them, so that they can make the actual calls necessary to sort through the need to hire a programmer so that they can design the website, while an angel investor who gets involved can pay for it. I’d be employed as the HR person/webmaster that the Angel investor pays a salary to.
This Saturday there will be a legal advising clinic at the new SCORE office, which is accessible via public transit. It will take three buses to get there but I’m willing to go to this event. I need to ask legal advice anyway, if only because I’m going to figure out how to set up my social network business idea.
Questions:
1) I’m selling a membership to the Shadow of the Phoenix Rising social network on the part of the bookstore that wants it so that they can have more income, in order to stay in business. An angel investor would be the one providing the salaries for psychics that want to join this network, while paying a $100 a month set up fee, which is how we would make revenue. The price to join the network for East West Bookshop is $100,000 or $500,000, I’m having trouble deciding which. How much should I price the monthly membership that includes a banner, a profile, a blog, a way to publish articles, a workroom, and access to video conferencing. The general public is free to join, just like Facebook. It is one way to get psychic insight from any psychic that would like to join this venture, because the venture is an experiment.
2) We are coming up with a way to keep metaphysical bookshops open because Moonfyre in Campbell closed when the owner died. A psychic would get paid a normal salary, and a percentage would go to the bookshop since business would get better from more people saying, the prices are affordable. I’m not sure how much of a percentage would go into the bookshop, but it would be enough to say, this is useful. A psychic needs to make money because they get a salary from the angel investor. Is this possible?
3) The general public gets a free membership, even if we are looking to recruit people like shamans, witchdoctors, healers, psychics, and etc, people who have a psychic practice, who want to generate more business. Independent people keep all their profit if they aren’t tied to a bookshop. Independent psychics have to do all their marketing by themselves. So part of their profit would go into Shadow.
4) We would also leave room for more famous psychics that have books out. This website would provide a shopping cart/ecommerce feature so that artists, and craftspeople can share their wares. How much money would I need to set this feature up?
5) Is my approach to paying the programmer something that I can get done? I haven’t learned code in a while which is why I’m going to recruit programmers now rather than try to do the whole thing myself.
These are the questions I came up with. I may as well print them out at the library on Thursday.
Some people love pushing other people to snap. They pick on someone nonstop until they get the reaction they want. Certain family members used to pull this on me. What a person of this kind wants is for you to lose your temper. But then when you pick on them back, you win. Take that unstable mess at work 2 Future. She was manic and acting out. I saw the signs right away, so I’d just rub in how I was treated and she wasn’t. Eventually she tried to call me a famoustard but what I did to her was call her manic person. That shut her up so much. I also just got in her face and said “because I’m so fucking retarded, right?” This cracked up the woman sitting next to me in the quality management class. Hee, hee, lol, and gotcha!
iriavp 