Taking it easy as much as I can in the present really feels weird because I was a stress addict for so long. It is possible to be addicted to your own stress hormones. Most people who are working stiffs, have no idea how stressed out they are. People pound caffeine into their bodies without thinking about how caffeine could make them high as a kite. Starbucks came into being because alcoholics gave up alcohol but found coffee. I’m codependent when I think, gosh, there is a way to help addicts. I do not need to be with another addict right now much less anybody else.
I can’t do anything to help my family, it is codependent of me to even try. I’m not going to bother with trying to “help” anybody because I’m busy trying to survive on low income by myself. I do my best to survive this crap, as I’m a survivor on many levels. I want to work on my codependency issues. I’m doing the work of reading Melanie Beatty books called “The New Codependency.” As it is, I’ve discovered I like chocolate way too much. I’m in love with chocolate big time.
I have to limit my chocolate because just look at the doorknob picture I use as the picture for this blog for goodness sake. My infusion set did bend when I stuck it into my waist but the trick into making sure it isn’t the metal is, “does it bend back?” If it manages to straighten out, that means it can work. I have to live with my skills as I do not age very much, and will never look my age. Time is relative. Age is relative. I find myself hiding my true age a lot but hey, am that codependent of me?
This third book is about how Ana and Esperanza stop the alien invasion together. There is nobody they can warn but they do manage to get back onto the spaceship orbiting earth so that they can kick ass. They figure out a way to put explosives on the ship so that it blows up. This book should have many an explosion in it. Hell, this book could turn into a television series if possible. The books are disjointed in my head and I need to better develop the idea. I’ve had trouble piecing together this idea for many years. Now that my brain cobwebs are well sorted out and I can write as well as make sense, I’m going to go for writing this series.
Now that is an unconventional source of income that I can work my own hours with. I want to establish a kiosk at the mall where I can sell my art, and even my handcrafted pillow with seeds inside it. I would also like to sell hand warmers that protect hands from circulation problems while typing. I have no idea how much that kiosk at the mall will be but we can also sell crafts from other people who want it sold, such as a family friend who designed pillows with heavy doses of lavender in it that is meant to be used as a sleeping aid. I’m pretty much going to do research into getting a mall kiosk. I feel I need one but when I feel up to driving again so I can haul all my things around or maybe I could find someone whose job it would be to drive me to that mall with my things.
My nonprofit business idea is all about trading medical supplies, and having other people pay the shipping costs. The President of this business plan will be collecting money from the people willing to pay for the postage. The fundraising events will help solidify the money we’d need so others can pay postage. All we have to do is pay the programmer, with membership for this website being free. I need to work on the business plan some more. This is a medical supplies trading nonprofit idea that would help people who are low-income. I have Benadryl for a friend of mine that I need to send to her. If she needs it eventually I’m wiling to send postage and packaging out to those who need it. But anyway, this is just one idea on the list of ideas.
This book will be called DarkDusk. I have to start working on fiction again. But I have come to realize that big files are hard to deal with. I have major writer’s block when it comes to fiction. The fact is there are no mistakes in my writing. DarkDusk is about after Ana’s abduction, where she is returned to earth with knowledge of what will or might happen. She has the tools to stop it, with her arsenal of investigative skill. She and Esperanza are wondering how to stop the aliens from invading Earth. Although that is only the gist of the story stuck in my head that needs to be let out sometime.
I’m not as easily brainwashed to drink like other people. The hernia is in there, but I’m functional despite that hiatal hernia thing stuck in my body. It isn’t acting out as much anymore. But this hernia is a huge reason not to drink. I would rather keep my business and book writing ideas to myself. If I drink, there goes my inhibition. Anybody who wishes I were drinking is not trustworthy. I’m a recovered functional alcoholic. I’d rather be a direct, blunt, and evil bitch to people as opposed to a “nice” push over. I’d rather be able to set boundaries than have none. I don’t have good examples since my family is overrun by their addictions to many different toxic situations or substances. I set the example but it gets shat on so I’m going to just going to be like, eh, I’m the adult? I should not drink. No amount of pressure will make me because what happens if I drink? You are dealing with an out-of-control psychic, that’s what. The Gods are clear about this, no more booze.
My pass plan is long and will feature my business plans on USB. I’m going to have to get a lockbox to keep my USB safe from my family. That much is something I need to get done. Also, I know for a fact that my dad has his sights set on sabotaging my USB drive. We are not going to let this happen. I want to make enough money to escape. My business idea is about making a website where psychics can participate in a social network type of environment where clients book their services. My PASS Plan has to mention that I want to be working on the HR end of things.
My PASS Plan is a plan that demonstrates how I’m going to maintain financial self-sufficiency. My other plan is to get a psychiatric evaluation now, and if my family comes back, get it again. They want to claim I’m unstable but one way to shut that idea up is to get a psychiatric evaluation on paper. How silly of the unstable people to malign me as if I’m the unstable one, got to love their narcissism. I’m doing well, in recovery, and stable. They can’t touch me.
If I can make money it will be to escape them. I have cleaning the house to get done as a high priority because I have to go drop off my sharps at Good Samaritan. But anyway, yes, I have a little plan to make them shut up. I’m stable, I’m happy, and I know what I’m doing. All I have to do is buy another laptop and I’m good to go. I go to great lengths to protect myself. The unstable ones know this. We win all the wars eventually, and that PASS plan will be something I’m working on this coming year.
Not sleeping the whole night is something that I’ve done very well on my own since my toddler years. The thing is, not medicating a child with pediatric-onset schizoaffective whose parents used that as an excuse, was torment deliberately set up. Even children need medication, sweethearts. I might have heinous brain damage from not being treated as a child. I’m remembering bits of my high school freshman year. Being as severely sleep deprived as I was could have caused fainting or throwing up or maybe both. I somehow made it through each day because of coffee. Long menstrual cycles are a symptom of hypothyroidism.
I had some of that too in high school but no doctor noticed it. Somehow I survived chronic exhaustion without being broken. See, some were trying to break me, which is why I avoid the majority of my family in the present. If you people are going to disrespect me for being me, then why bother eh? This applies to anybody. Even old friends who I think I know but may not know that well after all. This is why I stay away from people since I get wound up, but sleeping the whole night, should that ever happen, will fix many a psychic problem or a health problem, either of that.
iriavp 