Schizophrenia is really easy to understand as it comes with hearing voices, which is a natural thing your brain does when it is born hallucinating and having delusions from the moment of conception. Clairaudience is a talent for hearing otherworldly beings on one frequency. All clairaudience is, is being able to access more than one frequency in your brain. If you can hear deities, then you have a direct link to the gods themselves. Clairaudience is a huge ability because you can hear people’s thoughts. It is one kind of ESP.
Clairaudience is pretty much a way to hear fairies too. You can hear dead people’s thoughts with it, as well as the thoughts of people in a crowd. Hearing things is part of the deal, guys, and you are stuck with it. Although there is a way to filter input, because you have to make sure that you know what is from what. I need teaching from somebody who understands schizophrenia and how to treat it. The only treatment for schizoaffective is to take your medication, daily. That’s a fact of life. You want to stay stable? You are adult enough to take your medication and to be responsible for it.
In Spain, they have an odd little tradition of naming somebody after a Christian Saint, with a good Christian name. My name’s origins are not Christianity. It means Goddess of Peace according to Sea World. Every other name has a meaning. My name in particular, has meanings I do not quite understand but have to research with the better resources we have on the Internet in the present. I was named after a town in Galicia called Iria Flavia. I think mom was making things up to reassure the priest that I was given a Christian name.
We have a family picture collection of the Iria Flavia sign, and it is always in the photographs. I suppose more research on my name is in order. There are things I don’t know. It could be derived from the name Iris, which means Goddess of the Rainbow. I will do more research on the origins of my name and get back to you guys. I’m doing my best to keep up with what I’m working on. But anyway, yes, I’m figuring out a lot of things about my past lately. My St . Day is officially on the 13th of September.
I wasn’t feeling out of sorts from the reunion Barbecue or the high heat, but rather from the full moon giving me some mania. It crept up on me. I didn’t notice. My full moon stress was aggravating my anxiety. The full moon can give us bipolar 1s mania or depress a bipolar 2. I was feeling edge Wednesday, I went to bed early Thursday and Friday as the cure. I’m waking up way too early, but that is the seasonal changes creeping up on me. Summer is a rough time of year for me because of the heat. I have decided I dislike summer, in particular Indian summer heat waves in October that San Jose finds itself enmeshed with.
If I had my car back, I’d drive to Palo Alto to cool off at Bayshore. Indeed, Mountain View and Palo Alto are less hot than San Jose. San Jose is a few degrees warmer. It is a noticeable difference for those who live further North. I will pay for my car registration today at the AAA office, and I feel truly well enough to go because I got enough sleep last night. Going to the reunion was giving me anxiety. The heat was also causing me stress, so eventually I managed to chill when I decided I wasn’t going. A friend of mine can’t go as we were going to go together.
So we decided due to our health problems, that we weren’t going. Heatstroke can be really scary for me. I get nauseated in heat above 90 degrees. Hot weather is terrifying. I’d love to go to Africa someday but not necessarily soon. The hot weather anywhere is a turn off, as going to the Middle East is also on my list of places to travel. But anyway, yes, the full moon is something that can mess with those of us in tune to it.
Yo, I almost died in Chile from passing out. See, they had pestered me into taking too much insulin, so I would pass out and it looked like my fault. They succeeded at brainwashing me that day, as my defenses were low. They were psychically attacking me and emotionally abusing at the same time. Jam revived me but on that day, I learned that every concept of God, even lack of belief is a real experience. In that moment, I understood the Universe wants me to live my best life, and to get back at the untreated idiots who mean me harm. Winning is making money, being calm, not having anxiety, and in general, enjoying life.
I almost died of type 1-diabetes. I had gone to an adventure experience, Girl Scout Camp. I got ill with something, a big flu or whatever, a cold. We thought it was nothing. Someone took care of me on the worst night of my life. I wasn’t getting any sleep. I slipped into diabetic coma when we got home, because Zod was busy trying to figure out what it was and getting the sexist run around from doctors. See, I eventually wound up on life support with all biological functions run by machines. While Zod has a DNR, I have a keep me alive.
This is the most traumatic experience of my life. Oh sure, there’s enough pain for CTPSD and PTSD at the same time. How I get out of the house when I need to is beyond me. Add my past life issues I’m trying to sort out, and dang it, I feel like it is time to manifest real money and pay my own insurance. I get to pay my car registration tomorrow at the AAA field office. See, Zod takes no interest in my blog, my stories, or anything else about me. So in which case, I’m lucky I made it to 38, don’t look my age, too hot to go to my high school reunion. I was way too paranoid this week. Then it hit me, Zod doesn’t enjoy my calm, content, happy energy. She feeds off of stress. So the less stressed I get, the less snacking for her.
Yes, I’m a keep me alive sort, I enjoy living. Even with my health problems. Dead people can’t eat food. I can enjoy food without me getting fat from it though. Zyprexa is awesome, you sleep but you eat because we depressed folks don’t always have an appetite. Oh hell, that’s a mental illness thing.
Not taking medication means a schizoaffective bipolar 1 and OCD is a victim of all their moods. Their illness runs their life. They have delusions and imagine that alcohol makes it all better but this isn’t the case. They have significant impairments so they find reading in Spanish easier, that’s their first language. Not taking medication does not do one a favor, when they realize that schizophrenia is their disability but I’m the one who is supposed to be the retard in their minds. Gee, thanks for believing the old man in every deranged little delusion he has. These days, there is less-stigma on mental illness. We have ways of talking about it, so deal with your life because I’m tired of doing your emotional labor for ya. You need serious help since you can’t admit you are wrong much less see the need for therapy.
Sleep deprivation means you can only function at half-mast. You cannot piece together information from whatever source. Sleep deprivation affects your ability to drive also. This is because sleep deprivation is something that affects your cognition a lot and if you already have mental health issues whether it would be from bipolar 1 or schizophrenia, not sleeping enough leads to a mentally disorganized brain. The next day after a sleep-deprived night, puts the sufferer in a bad mood, making them all too cranky. Long-term sleep deprivation can put your health at extreme risk, says this article cited below.
Sleep deprivation causes memory issues, as well as trouble thinking including trouble concentrating. Your problem solving skills start atrophying without getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can also impaired driving ability, since sleep deprivation can impair concentration. People who do not get enough sleep, who have schizoaffective, are not doing themselves a favor. Not getting enough Zs can make you moody as well as increase your risk for car accidents or injuries from a variety of possible causes since sleep deprivation can make you careless. Not getting enough sleep puts you at risk for high blood pressure.
You can even have poor balance, so I suspect my yoga accident three years ago that made 9 years of experience go down the toilet with my dislocated knee cap and fractured tibia, was caused by me not getting enough sleep as well as psychic attack from Zod (family members). I was unable to deflect her. I shouldn’t have been in yoga class that day on top of it. I was stressing. I didn’t know that less than 7 hours sleep could lead to health problems. Sleep helps your body heal itself, while restoring its chemical and hormonal balance.
Sleep deprivation is so horrible to put someone else through the way my family put me through this. I was exhausted until my 20s when I started trying medications. I was not allowed to see a psychiatrist until I was like 21, when I should have had a concrete mental health diagnosis in high school other than oppositional defiant disorder. Sleep deprivation can affect your mind as well as your emotional state. Sleep deprivation caused me hallucinations that also come from my schizophrenia. It also triggered my mania. But my family seemed somehow okay with this.
I’m grateful that in the present, I can get enough sleep even if it pisses them off. I take my medication, whatever.
I was raised Catholic, and I tried very hard to be a good Catholic but my family is not made up of bible readers, something I took very seriously. I quit the Church because I felt it was a toxic environment. I take stuff like that very seriously. I take it seriously in my present because toxic environments are the root cause of a lot of illness. My mother never took that seriously, considering taking me out of elementary school, which was a private Catholic school, and also high school. There were many times, I hated my freshman year but stayed put only because of my friends.
I had thought public school would be a safer environment. But then again my high school had a great foreign language program-which I quickly excelled in. My freshman year Spanish 2 class had me being terribly bullied by people cat-calling my name in class a lot. They’d demand my answers be done for them, but I was like, no, you are doing the work yourself. I had to be aggressive constantly, which wore me out. Someone gentle like me gets very ill in an environment where aggression is constantly demanded of you to make it your fault. In my present, if I were ever in that situation again I’d probably pass out, or get really ill. Mob violence is lethal to me, even if it existed in my past lives.
All I know is I was too run down to fight back until I felt Her and a power surge. I had a huge pimple in my nose, I mean gigantic, red, and infected. I had to take a 60-day course of antibiotic just to be rid of it. October is when pimples on my chin come out, while in February I get the cysts. It is winter, I assume it happens because my immune system is run down. But anyway, the people who saw me get off the bus while crossing the street, were two girls, one blond who pretty much screamed “Retard!” at me. I saw her, she ducked. I screamed at her for a full five minutes.
I was saying that I’m not feeling well, how dare you call me a retard, and why on earth do you need to do that? She ducked. She had to duck and cover the whole time. A woman electrical engineer saw the whole thing, chuckling as I walked past her. I was furious because I was thinking, wow, how dare they slight me like that. What I didn’t notice at the time, was that I was tired. There was no energy left after therapy to gather my loins and fight back. There is no way I could have fought back without Sekhmet’s help.
Sekhmet was an ancient Egyptian deity of healing who later got corrupted into a Deity of War. She is ferocious. She had Called me into service, because I didn’t go to her. I’m contemplating writing a letter to the editor about the other person who slurred me during this time in February of this year, because he called me “retard-face.” Only a letter to the editor could tell that guy, using my stage name, which has to be kept separate from this blog,
iriavp 