I simply let the anxiety happen, it processes, and then I feel fine. I don’t actually feel as much anxiety anymore. I’m not as anxious as I used to be. For those of us who have had chronic anxiety since childhood, having abusive parents does not help. You never know what kind of mood they are going to be in if they are narcissistic, but if they have schizoaffective on top of that, it becomes incredibly difficult to deal with. This is why I have to make significant income soon so I can escape the family nest if necessary. I want to jump ship in the Bay Area and move to Los Angeles because there are more career opportunities just waiting for me. My anxiety is under control with medication.
Some people can get addicted to mania. Caffeine only makes mania worse so I was addicted to coffee on top of my mania. My grandiosity thoughts would tell me I’m a powerful person, I’m better than everybody else. Then I found the right medication to settle me down. I now can function in the world without that sense of manic, oh my god, I’m so great. All my mental health symptoms scared me to death as an untreated child. Mania addiction is just a thing that happened to me and that I saw in the Ex. Addiction is something that happens to someone when they get hooked on something they feel they need. I want to study addiction professionally and get that alcohol/drug certification.
There is a reason why our culture doesn’t support calm, and mellow people. It likes mania, the go-go-go rush of caffeine addiction. It doesn’t support chamomile tea drinkers who need to sleep 8-11 hours a night. It doesn’t support those of us who do not pull all-nighters. Work-life balance is important because you simply do not need to take work home with you. Our work culture should be 35 hours or less counting as full-time. In Europe and other developed countries, people get a month’s vacation. People actually get PTO, good healthcare coverage, etc .
In the United States, we have trouble providing the bare minimum of a support system. The thing is, we need to do better but we are not. With the hot mess in Washington, we are struggling. I’ve put the whole thing on ignore. Work-life balance is all about not overdoing something, and going to bed early when you need to. Work-life balance is important to your overall wellbeing because it is a way to manage stress. Stress will always be there, it will always come up, but you have to learn to contain it, and manage it properly.
Workaholics work on vacation, they work ill, and they do not take the time to relax. I’m a workaholic, but I’m learning how to manage this and mitigate it better. I need to stop working sometimes. It was because in my very stressful childhood, back in the fourth grade at St. Joseph Elementary School, we were overly assigned homework. One of my school friends could only tolerate 45-min a night of homework, and that was it. My family? My family though, was making me do every second of that homework. Oy.
But you see, I’m trying to learn how to do less. Today I woke up because of high blood sugar or set failure. I woke up, and could not go back to sleep. I had some cocoa, and got to work. I mean I have many projects that could eventually make money. I also have a work from home transcription job. I’m trying to quit my workaholic tendencies. I hope I don’t make my neighbors feel lazy. I want to work, but not too much. It is encouraged by my family to work too much. Yes, I’m 38, but that doesn’t mean I have to over do working.
I do not always know when to walk away from my work. Other people pressure each other to work hard, if you are the same class of person that is, in a similar classed environment. Taking breaks from work ought to be taken seriously, by the worker. You should not be bringing home your work. Workers have a mind that over thinks all things work related. Setting healthy boundaries means maintaining a work schedule that you should commit to. Working in an efficient manner means that you get enough rest, sleep, breaks, and time to cultivate outside of work interests.
Quitting working too much means taking breaks, as in, whole days off. My treatment plan involves not pressuring myself to overdo things, anything, including cleaning the house. My family pressures me into overdoing things. My employers have at times, been like this too. I’m trying to learn how not to be triggered into anxiety and mania by learning how to relax into working, not overdo things. See, my family will try to trigger me into overworking if I’m around when they are around, so my goal is to escape them, to make money and escape. This is because I feel it is time to make money, and I appreciate that wisdom but I do not need to overwork to prove I’m worth something.
Works Cited
https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/how-to-cure-your-workaholic-addiction.html
Workaholics are addicts like any other addicted person. A workaholic works at the expense of being with their family. They feel work is more important than the well being of their wife, husband or child. Workaholism means that a person will work in order to feel loved, or feel that there is a pay-off. Overwork is especially addicting for a workaholic because they want to not take a break, ever. I’m plagued by this tendency sometimes. It is why I wake up early infused with an adrenalin rush. My family is rife with addiction, workaholism being one.
The thing is, I’m trying to break this tendency. I have kept my Greyschool.org work on suspend because I need to pay the level up fee. Devotion to a career should not have to be proven by overwork. I’m trying to realize that I do not need to overdo something in order to feel love. I am trying to learn how to love myself, understand myself, and not be a workaholic so much. I’m obsessively workaholic. I cannot do this my entire life because of my chronic illnesses. In Japan, some people die from workaholic behavior, they die at their desk.
The new freelancer rules may be useful in getting me to slow down. I feel like I take all my time writing copy. Sure, it makes extra income, but I spend my life writing copy to make extra money. I now have a transcription job that I’m going to take seriously, which means no new applications. I can overdo sending job applications while not focusing on one job. I’m focused on training for this transcription job. I am trying to let go of my inadequacy feelings because I am trying to not overdo working. Apparently it is a form of psychic food for my family on top of that.
Works Cited
Gluten free baking is something I’m going to develop over time using existing recipes but also using my own. I have some idea of how to bake gluten-free at home. This recipe has helped me unlock the secret of croissants. https://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/gluten-free-croissants/ Cold butter is put into the flour, which you then fold up with the butter being a main feature. I know about this from the Betty Crocker International Cook Book. I’ve spent the last 20 years wanting to bake gluten free. In the present, we have gluten-free diet recipes galore. You can make gluten-free everything. There are gluten-free Chocolate chip cookies, Udi’s brand. There is gluten-free pasta.
There may even be gluten-free puff pastry. I’ve contemplated making my own gluten-free puff pastry, although I don’t need to be gluten-free, I just have an interest in the gluten-free world. Gluten-free products are around these days, and even soy cheese has improved to the point you can’t tell the difference. I use my Lactaid for all lactose intake although no matter what I do, I have a lactose limit to remember I have to respect. But anyway, yes, gluten-free is popular now, since celiac is much easier to diagnose or if you have thyroid disorders, rumor has it the gluten-free diet can keep it under control.
Stress is very much saturating my life sometimes even while I’m trying to focus on having a stress-free existence since for 35 long years of my life I was dealing with too much stress. Driving to Work 2 Future was a huge cause of my stress. I thought about how I could limit my exposure to stress, so I thought, I don’t have to drive anymore thanks to Lyft and Uber, and how I feel that I’m better off taking public transit. If my mother has an issue with this, I’m like, whatever, because you know what? I’m better off just saying gee, hmm, I’m waiting until my left knee and my rib cage heal all the way. I have had a painful knee for three years, it is going to turn into four this 2020. I’m frustrated. At the same time, I’m going to just say that I do not want a relationship to cause me stress. Therefore, I cannot date anybody who smokes marijuana or who will make my low self-esteem worse. More therapy is needed before I can even begin to date.
Because I do not want to, plain and simple, and because I’m too traumatized from my last relationship, which means my PTSD is aggravated. I’m also traumatized from the Ex’s family since his mother was difficult to deal with. There is no pleasing her. She says mean things about everybody to other people, behind their backs. She wanted me to say mean things about the Ex. I’m not dating right now in order to avoid mean people. I can see my future boyfriends in Los Angeles. I need to date those who understand the psychic crap. I realize I’m great with anybody not of my race. My race, the Spanish and the Chileans, are sexist as shit. My ethnic background is Middle Eastern. Certainly I wouldn’t date a guy from there unless non-sexist, and not a racist. I have to figure out what my standards are, motivation for one, would be nice.
Sure, I think about dating but not by myself. I want to try chaperoned dates, so that my chaperone can spot any red flags. No chaperone, no date. I’m faced with new choices in the new year. I’m not into online dating, but many people are shocked I’m older than I look. So in which case, I’m careful whom I talk to. I have to be wary of whom to trust. I leave the house and I feel picked on. Or at least I’m paranoid about somebody picking on me. My 22q is not immediately obvious. But see, I want to become a psychiatrist for people with my genetic disability/people on the fringe like psychics who do not always want to access medical care.
I’m frustrated by the concept of dating in general, which is why I dumped the ex since that relationship was headed nowhere. I needed to dump the ex for my mental health. I need to find a guy who will respect my boundaries unconditionally. Someone I do not need to be triggered by. I had to distance myself from the ex and his family altogether. He got dumped for many reasons, the least of which is my personal boundaries. This is why we use a chaperone.
iriavp 