Yes, I have a lot going for me. I’m working on getting myself a real job. I want to get a health plan outside of needing a job to qualify for it. They have kept the removal of pre-existing conditions as a drawback to getting insurance. But we chronically ill folks need health insurance that doesn’t require us pay up the ass. Getting care to become affordable in the United States is difficult. It will not happen overnight due to conservative mindsets that are rapidly changing anyway because of impeachment hearings. I seriously wonder if jobs get the impression that I’m too busy to give them the time they demand. I know I’m looking for a non-toxic work environment where people will not kick my self-esteem problems around. Those who think emotional and psychological abuse does no harm, think again. I’m damaged from this crap I had to deal with from my family, and I do not want a workplace that will demean me.
You can work and set your own hours. Real jobs demand your time along with your tasks given over to them. As an entrepreneur, time is my most valuable resource. My time is valuable to me. My time means something. Employers, take note since I have many irons in the fire, I have competing interests. Do not take that personally, it is just the way my brain works. I like having multiple things to do. A job has to be busy for me otherwise I get bored easily and find something better that comes along. I know other chronic job hoppers like me because this is a bipolar thing. I’m doing my best to find myself a work from home gig or two. I’d rather work from home than out of an office. I’ve accepted both my destiny as an entrepreneur, and my work from home job with benefits style of living. Until my knee gets all the way better, and my hernia requires surgery, I’m going to have to work from home.
The next step I’m taking as an entrepreneur is to get angel investment going, as well as find business partners. I need solid, mentally together, and mentally well business partners. I have a lot to get done with my life. I’m almost done with my list of business plans, which I am planning on working on today. I even have a new 2020 list going. Today is work on the Gluten-free bakery day. I have ideas for how to make gluten-free baked goods but that will take research on my part using gluten-free flour. I want to create a whole line of gluten-free baked goods. Yes, I’m going to start putting the word out there that I need business partners, starting with working on that using this blog. The next step for me is to find partners, after all the plans are written, the said partner will have enough money to buy half the plan, half the business. I will then generate enough start-up income from angel investors.
I’m a people-pleaser. My drinking and not admitting I had a problem was making my immediate blood relatives happy. They were treating me well. I was seen as mature, and not given shit for any reason. Now those are fucked up ways to stick with the drinking habit. My drinking disturbed the shit out of people in college. It was self-medication. My family was encouraging my drinking. When I quit, it surprised them. I started to admit I have alcoholism. Then they all mistreated me because I admitted I had a problem, so this is the reason I’m not going to Thanksgiving only because I’m pretty much fed up with the drinking expected of me. I’m not going to ruin 9 or 10 years of sobriety. I’d rather not deal with people who imply they will treat me well if I drink. I’d rather go to a sober Thanksgiving.
It is really easy, and I mean really easy. You can make a Spanish omelet by chopping the potatoes in a fine manner. Then you use PAM or olive oil, or vegetable oil for best results to fry the potatoes in. PAM is an alternative to olive oil because it doesn’t have calories. It works very well. You fry the potatoes to a crispy style. Then you put it in two beaten eggs that you can flip in a small frying pan. The beaten eggs need to coat all the potatoes. Then you put the potatoes into the frying pan, waiting until the eggs set, making sure it is evenly spread. As the eggs set, you put a plate over the frying pan, flipping it over, and sliding the eggs and potatoes onto it. Then it hardens, with you being well on you’re way to eating it.
My family ignores me. My aunt puts me down; my uncle wants me to drink. This is why I’m not showing up this year again. I am 10 years sober, and for the umpteenth time, I do not drink. Not even if someone asks me if I want to. I’ve decided not to go to places where I feel unwanted, disrespected, and put down. This is why I’m not going to Thanksgiving or Christmas. I’d rather stay in a safe environment if people were going to deny the problems in my family like them having untreated schizoaffective and OCD. Medication makes mental health problems that much easier to deal with. This is why I do not want to be in a gloomy environment. I’m reserving the right to keep my self-safe.
Why the hell do they want me there if only to put me down? I don’t drink, I gave up my addiction forever. I will not be forced back into drinking. I will not be forced to do something I do not want to do. Last year, when my parents were here, I was pretty much not going to Thanksgiving to avoid any nasty scenes, or anybody asking me to drink for them. I have given up my addiction. I’ve successfully not fallen off the wagon and kept myself sober. I was drinking to make myself behave like a girl, and less like a psychic who knows what someone will say next. I was drinking so I didn’t give people as much shit until I realized they deserve it. It is best to avoid my family this year, as eating Thanksgiving dinner is too many calories often enough. So many people knew I didn’t have medication and my family wasn’t getting me any. Nobody helped me. There is a long list of toxic people I stay the hell away from.
With a narcissist, I have started to learn from After Narcissistic Abuse that there is no way to win against them. They argue, they lie, they come after you. The best thing I can do is stay away from them. I’m relieved my family lives in Spain. Thank goodness. I do not have to be around them much anymore. My family is wondering when I’m going to Spain next, but “Perdon, no se va a españa,” Nunca. Not to stay with my aunt, for any reason as her appliances in her kitchen are totally failing. Her house is very cold. I’m not going to Spain in order to freeze to death during any season.
Also, I just have a plan to indefinitely stay the hell away from my parents. Why? Because they mean to sabotage my health, that’s why! This is why we ignore the lure of Spanish churros. Back when I was an alcoholic, I was drinking for the sake of being treated well by my narcissistic family, but then I realized it wasn’t worth it to be manipulated so I quit drinking. This is another reason to avoid the narcissists, as they will try to get me to start drinking again. I won’t, I can’t, I don’t.
Hey, I was alone on the San Jose State Campus, walking home, from therapy using my cane, when some black guy with dreadlocks had the nerve to call me retard-face. I was floored. I had a huge pimple that wasn’t disappearing just yet, I had been on a course of antibiotic for this said pimple. WTF is your issue asshole? How do you think my genetic disability is not that obvious or is it? Some say it isn’t. You were clearly trying to make me feel insecure. You knew I would never let you in my life, period, what with your looks? Your friend told you to shut up. I had the energy to walk away-that was it. I should have said more to shut you up but like I said, I had no energy for this. So next time you see me with my chin’s puffy skin, keep your goddamn mouth shut, I’m 38, and I do not look my age. One of the teachers at occupational therapy did say that the guy who did this could have become violent so I did make an effort to steer clear. Thank you to his friend who didn’t know just how much of an idiot this guy was for saying something to get him to shut the fuck up.
iriavp 