Schizophrenics cannot wiggle their way out of saying rational things when on medication because they say loopy things when not on medication, in fact acting like real fruit loops. Medication is necessary to treat schizoaffective only because you are prone to mood swings. Those of us who need our medication do not take it as a sign of weakness of character, but in order to build up our strength for the next day by actually getting enough sleep for a change. Sleeping and being strong the next day is wonderful. It means you are not victimized by your mood swings. My family just enjoyed the stigma I was subjected to for not being on medication. They love that. They set me up for it. So now I take my medication consistently.
Okay, so Konstar is one of the bad guys. Konstar is a telepath, a psychic, who has to read people’s thoughts all the time. The townspeople and the beach and river people bring him fish. The rest of the planet has not been explored, just Konstar’s kingdom. These people are very telepathic but not all of them have it on. Those without the psychic gifts are people who live with it shut off, and are happy to have it off. Psychic sensitivity often means that you do not get a break. This is what my life is like. I do not always get a break from the noise.
Konstar is a crafty narcissist who runs the Land of True Blood by planning a raid on the Kingdom of Samar. Zatan is the ruler of Samar, who has some idea of what Konstar is planning because he has a spy amongst those in The Land of True Blood. Shella is the innocent maid/servant girl with immense psychic talent to be a healer but who is working in the castle as a servant instead. Konstar does not know about her talents. He is having an affair with Aurora, the witch, who is invested in breaking up his marriage to his wife Marvilla. Konstar runs a kingdom of men and women as equals, but he is equal opportunity nasty to his soldiers, subjects, and servants. Konstar is the clear-cut bad guy.
There is nothing good about Konstar. He has no idea how mean he is, because he is schizophrenic, and on the autism spectrum, always saying mean things to people. The castle is a huge toxic environment. We do not have to mention that this story takes place on Tiamat 10,000 years ago when this planet was not an asteroid belt yet. But that’s where my setting actually is and I wonder if I should say it or not.
Narcissists do not have a conscience or attachments to people. They want to lie, manipulate, blame us, and never take responsibility for their behaviors. They get rages because they put us down, etc. Gee, that is why I’m not going to Thanksgiving this year, again. My knee can’t take it, my energy can’t take it. Narcissists and their minions cause too much destruction. I’m going to avoid my family this year again because my brain cannot stand up to the self-destructive need they have for me to drink. My aunt WILL throw my under the bus, yet another reason not to go.
So I stay home, stay in, order Pad Thai from Noodles & CO., chill, and eventually just relax. I’m glad that my family lives in Spain. According to this Youtube video, the flying monkeys are willing to allow the narcissist to say what is right, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBIauMej5Ok. They let the brainwashing kick in by making the narcissist do the thinking, even if it is a total lie, and the narcissist is a bully. The narcissist makes them feel like the minion is on their team, so the narcissist doesn’t come after them. Easily brainwashed people allow themselves to be shallow. The flying monkey’s overlook obvious red flags. If you point out the narcissist’s cruelty, they get defensive and blame you by telling you that you are ungrateful. You have to stand up to group think, and make sure you are willing to pay the price that may be, since you are opting out.
There are people who have problems with families that dictate how the family will work. In my family, they expect me to drink, and going to Thanksgiving endangers my health. I want to not drink, not cause myself a huge ER worthy emergency, and in general, I’m staying home. It is impossible to fend off my uncle’s psychic manipulation talent, so I’m not going to expose myself to his bullshit, plain and simple. I need to stay away from alcohol, period. My family clearly would like me to drink alcohol. They want me to have booze. My roommate in 2004 were the same way, they wanted harm to come to me. I had to get out of there before they had homicidal rage. This is because I knew they had ill will towards me. But anyway, I’m making decisions that are right for me.
Even children need to learn stress management techniques and that is something I didn’t have much of until high school. I had an intern at Stanford Children’s Hospital my freshman year, and a social worker my sophomore through senior year. I was not allowed to take medication in high school, so each therapist had to work around that knowing full well I needed medication. Yes, this is sad, and it was difficult for me to survive daily without medication. It was harsh. Now I have the medication I needed, and my adult life is much calmer but my life was very difficult growing up.
Schizophrenics need their medication because it helps us make sense. Sometimes, bizarre things come out of our mouths. Medication like Geodon is an antipsychotic that helps us calm down, also giving us an ability to face reality. Remaining in denial of my schizoaffective didn’t work for me. I got myself medication again during my college years because I was being given shit in one class for not taking it. An All C semester was a result of not taking medication, but I’m lucky I didn’t take a break since the deal my family and I struck was that they’d pay the rent while I’d stay in school.
I was taking melatonin to sleep during that semester. Eventually I got back on the medication though, because I was realizing that my mother had manipulated me into stopping my medication taking. She was paying for my care, so she said not to go to a psychiatrist but to see an internist instead when internists don’t know shit about mental health to begin with. What a dangerous time from 2006-2010. I didn’t see a real psychiatrist until 2012 when I was finally diagnosed schizoaffective.
First of all, people with Munchausen by Proxy are deliberate liars. They like making shit up, confusing the doctor, and sending them on the wrong path. I should have been diagnosed hypothyroid in high school but my symptoms were dismissed. I want a law degree so I can help people in worse situations. Law is a demanding field of study, but it is something I’m willing to get done any time now. Then again I need my A.A. in film and television to get graduate school standing. Second of all Munchausen by Proxy is perpetuated by someone difficult to deal with, and is mostly achieved by a mother of a child. They also like to go after helpless people, ill people, and infirm people. I want a law degree for those who have been abused. There is not much I can do about my past but there is plenty of optimism for the future.
iriavp 